Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I know he's an action star, but I think his movies Vanilla Sky, Cocktail, Far and Away, and Jerry Maguire show his romantic side as an actor. Now, back to our movie, The Women of Yxalitis. So, after all those dalliances are you going to take a break from romance now? What's your plan? Yep, just see Cat until she's head back home... Seems like a good time frame to get myself back on track.
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Dude, are you only dating Asian women who think of you as a dollar sign? Sending money home, sex, drama, keeping you hooked with emotional manipulation when you start to move on? I haven't read all of your threads, but that is all I can surmise from this one. Seriously, no judgement, just wondering if you aren't being played? Confused, Grumps I HOPE you meant to say: "Dude, are you only dating women who think of you as a dollar sign?" Because the implication otherwise is racist. Clearly I object to racism, especially typifying Asian women as seeking financial security over all else. But, to answer your question, and you would need to set aside a few hours and read all my posts to see this...no.
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) I HOPE you meant to say: "Dude, are you only dating women who think of you as a dollar sign?" Because the implication otherwise is racist. Clearly I object to racism, especially typifying Asian women as seeking financial security over all else. But, to answer your question, but no, you would need to set aside a few hours and read all my posts...but...no. I was in the Navy. I lived through hundreds of men being used by Asian women because unfortunately that is their lot in some countries, and I'm not judging their need for security. If asking you a question because you stated in your own thread that one of your GFs, and it was obvious to me from your various threads that you prefer and date Asian women, that you broke up due to her talking about "sending money home" and then me thinking that maybe you are being used for financial reasons, then yes, I am a huge racist. I guess I need to be more PC only use generic terms in fear of offending the easily offended. Definitely a bit jaded and practical, never been accused of racism before in my entire forty three years so this is new. Good luck, Grumps Edited July 13, 2015 by Grumpybutfun 1
writergal Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Yep, just see Cat until she's head back home... Seems like a good time frame to get myself back on track. Um how do you have an actual relationship with a self-declared FB? Doesn't that break the FB rules? That is, Cat labeled herself that to you didn't she? So, is it going to be a legitimate relationship now with actual emotional attachment and intimacy and not just two FB's getting together to pass the time? As long as that is a productive relationship for you...
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 I was in the Navy. I lived through hundreds of men being used by Asian women because unfortunately that is their lot in some countries, and I'm not judging their need for security. If asking you a question because you stated in your own thread that one of your GFs, and it was obvious to me from your various threads that you prefer and date Asian women, that you broke up due to her talking about "sending money home" and then me thinking that maybe you are being used for financial reasons, then yes, I am a huge racist. I guess I need to be more PC only use generic terms in fear of offending the easily offended. Good luck, Grumps One girl, once. Not every girl, all the time. And, yeah, you're racist, using someone for money is universal, not an"Asian" thing, your anecdotal 3rd party data is wholly inadequate to classify well over a billion woman. And the last girl I dated INSISTED on paying for everything, as she earned more than I did...including spending $500 on my birthday, and $600 on an exotic day spa.
writergal Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 One girl, once. Not every girl, all the time. And, yeah, you're racist, using someone for money is universal, not an"Asian" think, your anecdotal 3rd party data is wholly inadequate to classify well over a billion woman. Vietnam War. Perfect example of a time when Asian women used soldiers for their own financial security. Grumpy is NOT a racist.
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 One girl, once. Not every girl, all the time. And, yeah, you're racist, using someone for money is universal, not an"Asian" thing, your anecdotal 3rd party data is wholly inadequate to classify well over a billion woman. And the last girl I dated INSISTED on paying for everything, as she earned more than I did...including spending $500 on my birthday, and $600 on an exotic day spa. Ok, I am racist. Who knew? I just asked a question, but you might want to examine why you are feeling so defensive about it in general. My alleged racist tendencies aside ( my poor Asian son in law and granddaughter, I need to let them know about my racism right away) which you have already admonished me on, what motivated such anger? Everything you described is textbook money fishing...I actually had to teach classes on this in the a Navy. I was just going on a hunch. I didn't know only one was Asian as I got the impression you dated primarily Asian women so that was why I mentioned Asian...yes....this happens in all cultures. I also had to give the same class when we went to European and South American areas. If I misread that you dated primarily Asian women, then it was a simple mistake on my part. I didn't know you only dated one. I must be losing my memory. Explanatory Tome Number 2... best of luck in your drama filled dating life. I was only trying to present a different perspective. Best, Grumps
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Vietnam War. Perfect example of a time when Asian women used soldiers for their own financial security. Grumpy is NOT a racist. XXXXXX war, a perfect example of when woman of country YYYYY used soldiers for their own financial security I'm sorry, but you both need to read up on the meaning of the term.
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Ok, I am racist. Who knew? I just asked a question, but you might want to examine why you are feeling so defensive about it in general. My alleged racist tendencies aside ( my poor Asian son in law and granddaughter, I need to let them know about my racism right away) which you have already admonished me on, what motivated such anger? Everything you described is textbook money fishing...I actually had to teach classes on this in the a Navy. I was just going on a hunch. I didn't know only one was Asian as I got the impression you dated primarily Asian women so that was why I mentioned Asian...yes....this happens in all cultures. I also had to give the same class when we went to European and South American areas. If I misread that you dated primarily Asian women, then it was a simple mistake on my part. I didn't know you only dated one. I must be losing my memory. Explanatory Tome Number 2... best of luck in your drama filled dating life. I was only trying to present a different perspective. Best, Grumps OK, I'll back off the racism taunts, I understand what you meant, and I was being defensive. You were referring to my specific circumstances, not speaking generally... Please accept my apologies I meant only one Asian woman started to drop hints about needing money, not that I've only dated one Asian woman! 1
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Vietnam War. Perfect example of a time when Asian women used soldiers for their own financial security. Grumpy is NOT a racist. Thanks for the kind words...he doesn't know me as Ive been away for a while so all is good. My words were kindly meant as I watched many men lose their shirts to beautiful women in the Navy and they were great actresses. It was just a hunch. I've been wrong before! So, WG, guess how many times my wife got to hold my granddaughter today? Once. My little girl cried until I got back in contact with her...she knows who she is named after. Grumpynotracist OK, I'll back off the racism taunts, I understand what you meant, and I was being defensive. You were referring to my specific circumstances, not speaking generally... Please accept my apologies I meant only one Asian woman started to drop hints about needing money, not that I've only dated one Asian woman! Sometimes meanings get lost in translation. I'm not very good at writing so I'm sure I botched that up entirely. I also should not have assumed you meant you dated only Asian women....that was an obvious mistake on my part and I can only say I'm getting old. If you thought about it and honestly know that I'm off the mark then know that the suggestion to think about money fishers was well meant. I saw it happen to many men who were new to dating and had many GFs who would use them....not that that is happening to you. Apology unnecessary as this is always good and generous discussion here at LS and I took no offense. Truly hope you figure this situation out, G 1
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Thanks for the kind words...he doesn't know me as Ive been away for a while so all is good. My words were kindly meant as I watched many men lose their shirts to beautiful women in the Navy and they were great actresses. It was just a hunch. I've been wrong before! So, WG, guess how many times my wife got to hold my granddaughter today? Once. My little girl cried until I got back in contact with her...she knows who she is named after. Grumpynotracist Sometimes meanings get lost in translation. I'm not very good at writing so I'm sure I botched that up entirely. I also should not have assumed you meant you dated only Asian women....that was an obvious mistake on my part and I can only say I'm getting old. If you thought about it and honestly know that I'm off the mark then know that the suggestion to think about money fishers was well meant. I saw it happen to many men who were new to dating and had many GFs who would use them....not that that is happening to you. Apology unnecessary as this is always good and generous discussion here at LS and I took no offense. Truly hope you figure this situation out, G Thanks... I've kind of figured it out. I think by the end of the year I should be OK, time to get my stuff together, and stop attracting (being attracted to?) the crazy...
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Thanks... I've kind of figured it out. I think by the end of the year I should be OK, time to get my stuff together, and stop attracting (being attracted to?) the crazy... Look, you were in a twenty year marriage and now you are starting all over. I don't think I would have the slightest idea after twenty one years of marriage how to date again or even if I would want to. I think you are brave for getting back out there. Apparently, from what I read here, hear from my kids and my newly single friends...it is a PITA. Be compassionate towards yourself. This is going to be like graduating from fifth grade and then having to start all over again in junior high then graduating from there and starting all over in high school, to college, military..then first marriages...starting over is difficult for anyone. That is why you are here. I learn so much and am so grateful for what I have when I read here....simultaneously. Life is about getting up over and over again and figuring out things as you go. Even the smartest people in the world have never been able to figure out the human heart. Every journey begins with a stumble. Respect, Grumps 1
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) Look, you were in a twenty year marriage and now you are starting all over. I don't think I would have the slightest idea after twenty one years of marriage how to date again or even if I would want to. I think you are brave for getting back out there. Apparently, from what I read here, hear from my kids and my newly single friends...it is a PITA. Be compassionate towards yourself. This is going to be like graduating from fifth grade and then having to start all over again in junior high then graduating from there and starting all over in high school, to college, military..then first marriages...starting over is difficult for anyone. That is why you are here. I learn so much and am so grateful for what I have when I read here....simultaneously. Life is about getting up over and over again and figuring out things as you go. Even the smartest people in the world have never been able to figure out the human heart. Every journey begins with a stumble. Respect, Grumps I'm beginning to wonder about where this current bout of self doubt and self pity comes from. I stated, and firmly believe that breaking up from Karen (Ugh, should have chosen a better pseudonym), rather than my wife is what set me back. I clung to that relationship because it was closest to a family, it gave me the illusion of a happy family life even though it misfired on most cylinders. Yes I had a very beautiful, sexy, passionate and horny girlfriend, one who ticked all my sexual fantasy boxes...but we had virtually nothing else in common. Yes, she had a daughter, but, well, yeah, she was a PITA more then anything else. Spoilt, unintelligent, insecure, emotionally underdeveloped, and a thorn in our relationship as she had lost exclusive access to her mother, and "Didn't like it", not one bit. So as the last painful months of that relationship dragged out...it was evident months earlier that Karen had given up trying, I just got more and more desperate to hold it together, but at the same time knew there was no hope...so I flipped flopped around causing unnecessary pain before finally pulling the pin and moving out. Its remembering that relationship that brings me crashing down...and yet in the great scheme of things, it was only a blip on the radar of life... Funny how things work out... Edited July 13, 2015 by yxalitis
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I'm beginning to wonder about where this current bout of self doubt and self pity comes from. I stated, and firmly believe that breaking up from Karen (Ugh, should have chosen a better pseudonym), rather than my wife is what set me back. I clung to that relationship because it was closest to a family, it gave me the illusion of a happy family life even though it misfired on most cylinders. Yes I had a very beautiful, sexy, passionate and horny girlfriend, one who ticked all my sexual fantasy boxes...but we had virtually nothing else in common. Yes, she had a daughter, but, well, yeah, she was a PITA more then anything else. Spoilt, unintelligent, insecure, emotionally underdeveloped, and a thorn in our relationship as she had lost exclusive access to her mother, and "Didn't like it", not one bit. So as the last painful months of that relationship dragged out...it was evident months earlier that Karen had given up trying, I just got more and more desperate to hold it together, but at the same time knew there was no hope...so I flipped flopped around causing unnecessary pain before finally pulling the pin and moving out. Its remembering that relationship that brings me crashing down...and yet in the great scheme of things, it was only a blip on the radar of life... Funny how things work out... Were you enjoying the idea of her as an ideal of who you wanted? Did you put her on a pedestal somewhat, thinking that you could have feelings for someone that was way stronger than your wife so you felt vindicated in your decision to divorce? Do you think the grief for this loss was compounded by the emotional upheaval you went through with your ex wife and your child? There are many reasons why this could have hit you especially hard. There is something about it that may be symbolic of an idea you wanted to happen. Sometimes out greatest frustrations comes from our most personal expectations not being met. G
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Were you enjoying the idea of her as an ideal of who you wanted? Yes, she was the ultimate sexual partner...best by far, it was amazing sex. Did you put her on a pedestal somewhat, thinking that you could have feelings for someone that was way stronger than your wife so you felt vindicated in your decision to divorce? No, remember this is the second relationship after my separation, and 18 months down the track. My feelings for her were genuine, I was truly in love with her. Do you think the grief for this loss was compounded by the emotional upheaval you went through with your ex wife and your child? Children, and probably, it was like, another one down the drain, 3 in a row now (well, 4 as I left the woman I dated before my wife too). There are many reasons why this could have hit you especially hard. There is something about it that may be symbolic of an idea you wanted to happen. Sometimes our greatest frustrations comes from our most personal expectations not being met. G Yeah, i'm still analysing it all, technically, logically, we weren't right for each other, but emotionally we were deeply connected. Well, at least I was, I think she was only ever partially committed to me...that's what hurts, that she put up a front of being in love, ready for commitment, but inside was harbouring doubts. Doubts she didn't express, emote, or communicate about.
Author yxalitis Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Cat just texted me asking if I want to go away for the weekend with her! That's nice!
Author yxalitis Posted July 15, 2015 Author Posted July 15, 2015 Clara called me last night, just to say "hello" Cat cancelled the weekend, is going with a gf instead.
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