DK666 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I've posted here before about my breakup, but today the knife was twisted inside me when she blocked me on Facebook on day 12 of our breakup. I know I should have done it before, and i know it would have been the right thing to do but I am finding it so hard to let go of her that it's eating me up inside.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 In the long run out of sight, out of mind is better. Hang in there. 3
Ronni_W Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I, but today the knife was twisted inside me when she blocked me on Facebook on day 12 of our breakup. DK, given that you knew to do it but could not find within yourself what you needed to do it, she actually did you a HUGE favour -- she made it easier for you, in the long run, to start letting go and recovering -- that's the opposite of a "knife twist". Yes, in the short run it may suck kinda hard...but in three weeks, you'll be thanking her. And, if not, come back here and give me shyte for telling you bullshyte. Fair enough? 4
Yummm Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 So true - this week is a month since I finally deleted her from my phone and facebook, the first couple of days sucked, it's like a 'finality' in some way, but it really helps! Hang in there 2
Satu Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Its better for you to be without a Facebook connection to her. *No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. 1
Yummm Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Agree with the others, you won't see it now but she did you a favour. 1 month ago after not 'letting go' and continuously hurting myself by stalking her FB and breaking NC, I finally decided to take initiative after all the advice from people here on LS, I deleted her from my phone and FB. The first few days were extremely painful, it signified the real END of hope for me, and that is hard, but that is what is necessary when emotionally detaching from someone else. The other day, I bumped into my ex and we made brief eye contact and that's it. We are now strangers again... It did hurt a little, but I didn't get a heart sink like I used to get when seeing her... Had this have happened if I still pined over her and stalked her facebook trying to keep her in my life in some twisted way? I'd be in pieces...NC really works! 3
Author DK666 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I know it's for the best, I just want these knots in my stomach to go away from missing her so much. I went to the doctor yesterday and was prescribed Citalopram for the anxiety and depression, but doc says it will take a couple weeks to kick in. One day at a time. 1
15Love Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Try transdermal magnesium while you're waiting for the cit to kick in. It'll help with the anxiety, depression, and help you sleep. Same day. 1
Author DK666 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 Try transdermal magnesium while you're waiting for the cit to kick in. It'll help with the anxiety, depression, and help you sleep. Same day. Thank you, I will try to get some first thing in the morning. 1
Cali408 Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 DK, get off Facebook and don't stalk her via the internet. Don't do it, stay busy and take care of yourself physically. Walk, run, lift. No one has ever finished a walk in a bad mood. 1
Author DK666 Posted July 23, 2015 Author Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) DK, get off Facebook and don't stalk her via the internet. Don't do it, stay busy and take care of yourself physically. Walk, run, lift. No one has ever finished a walk in a bad mood. She blocked me two weeks ago, and while it hurt then it's actually been a blessing in disguise, as I don't get the anxiety from seeing her updates. Information was volunteered to me in last few days though as I mentioned in another thread, she has already been seeing another guy for a couple of weeks, introduced him to her kids and everything where it took me 5 months to get involved in that way. I'm sure she was talking to him before the breakup and I am convinced that the real reason she broke up with me was to pursue a relationship with him, rather than having the single life as she claimed, typical GIGS if i'm not mistaken. I'm also sure she will regret it as the guy she is now seeing is a serial cheater, and incredibly needy. While the news of her jump to another relationship has made me feel sick to my stomach, it has shredded pretty much all the remaining hope that I had. This can only be good for me moving forward. I'm pretty much numb at the moment still, but I don't have quite as bad a feeling in the pit of my stomach as I used to have, it's getting better, just wish it would be quicker. Though I do get some relief from the fact that I know she's not moving on as quickly as she said she is (she claimed to be over it after 6 days), I saw her in the local club last weekend while i was dancing with another girl, and her face just dropped, she stalked me quite a lot that night, and ended up leaving early. It was very satisfying. I've started cycling again too, usually for around an hour or so a day. I usually feel a bit better after that. Just gotta keep it up and keep moving forward. Edited July 23, 2015 by DK666 2
theredpill Posted July 26, 2015 Posted July 26, 2015 A lot of people will attempt to fill in the gap left by a failed relationship by trying to start at the same level at the last, it's not that you did anything wrong and it took a lot longer for you to meet her children, it's just a natural reaction. This often works in your favour, because the strong foundation isn't there and this time can be used to become a better version of yourself which both new women and your ex will find attractive. Women know the best way to get over someone is to find someone else, every woman has multiple guys after her so it's much easier for them to get a quicker fix. Men tend to withdraw and suffer more emotionally, the solution for this is to really keep busy, meet up with friends, workout and increase energy levels. Immediately after a break up the man often isn't himself and usually the reason for the break up, whilst his ex is with a man more like you were when you first met. So keep that focus on you, keep cycling, go out with friends and you will feel better in yourself sooner than you think. If you cross their paths, say "Hi" give her a hug, shake his hand "say have a nice day or whatever, I gotta run" and walk away like James Bond. This is by far the best way to deal with this awkward situation, don't be surprised if it results in contact, stay strong. 1
Author DK666 Posted July 27, 2015 Author Posted July 27, 2015 Thanks for all the replies. After a rocky couple of days earlier in the week I've actually been feeling much better than I expected, in fact I feel remarkably strong. I still have my low moments of course, but they've been happening less and less, even when I wake up in the morning I've been feeling better (mornings have always been the worst time for me with this stuff). I was going to post again about things I heard about the ex's new bf and how it's gonna mess up due to things I've heard from multiple people about his serial cheating, but apart from this previous sentence I'm not going to bother going into detail. The only way I am going forward now is to continue focusing on myself and becoming more like the person I used to be, and going way beyond that. I am watching videos and reading a lot about personal development and the like and I feel like I am getting a lot out of it. I am going out with my friends a lot more and getting surprisingly more female attention than I am used to getting, maybe it's because I am not caring what people think of me as much and I'm just being myself (maybe someone else can shed some light on that). I'm 36 years old and I can honestly say I've not gotten this much female attention in my entire life, and the girls who are showing interest all seem to be 10+ years younger and much better looking than I'm used to. I'm finding a lot of enjoyment in it despite a couple of weeks ago not being able to find enjoyment in anything, and I find my mind is becoming more and more occupied by these good times rather than the ex. This is only a month into the BU. My last breakups took me much longer to get to this stage. I can't explain it, but I'm not complaining. I do think this forum has been key to me reaching this stage though. 1
LoveIsMyReligion Posted July 27, 2015 Posted July 27, 2015 Keep it up man - I too am having some relationship issues at the moment. It's super hard but the best thing to do is avoid checking up on them... don't look at any of their social media or instant messenger.. just focus on your own well being and getting back to your strong self. A breakup doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you it just means you two are just too different. 1
Recommended Posts