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Posted (edited)
Generally I tend to be a very charismatic and confident guy, but this breakup has just broken me completely. I admit, at the end of our relationship I had changed from charismatic to somewhat of a downer, but that is because I had several close deaths in the family. I desperately want to just contact her, but I know that doing anything involving her will just push her further from me... =(

 

Also, one of the big fears I have right now is that I will never love anyone as much as I love her again, or that if I have another relationship, I will constantly be thinking about her... This is my first serious breakup, so I was wondering what you guys had to say on that? Am I right?

 

Hey,

Im 20,

And i was exactly in ur shoes 2 years ago, felt exactly what u do right now,

I was about to go to college in 2 months, and he just left me hanging,

 

your a mirror of myself 2 years back...

He blocked me,

 

That's when I finally had to step away.

I couldn't feel the same way about anyone at college (I know that's not reassuring....)

But i can tell u this,

 

When it's fresh,

Waiting it out is the hardest part,

But as the distance grows,

And u move away from the time of the break up itself,

The uncertainty of everything,

Helps to soothe the throbbing heartache.

 

I have bouts of crying for him still,

But...

I stop... realising that he's never even shed a tear....

 

its still hard to believe sometimes that he never hurt,

But I guess I don't know that.

 

(As badly as I still want, for him to feel what he made me feel when he left me ONLY because our dads had a lifelong animosity and that there was no possibility of a future for US...)

 

And everyone is right on here,

Prioritise yourself.

It'll help more than anything else will right now,

And talk to someone whose a good listener...

Edited by Reiben17
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Hey,

Im 20,

And i was exactly in ur shoes 2 years ago, felt exactly what u do right now,

I was about to go to college in 2 months, and he just left me hanging,

 

your a mirror of myself 2 years back...

He blocked me,

 

That's when I finally had to step away.

I couldn't feel the same way about anyone at college (I know that's not reassuring....)

But i can tell u this,

 

When it's fresh,

Waiting it out is the hardest part,

But as the distance grows,

And u move away from the time of the break up itself,

The uncertainty of everything,

Helps to soothe the throbbing heartache.

 

I have bouts of crying for him still,

But...

I stop... realising that he's never even shed a tear....

 

its still hard to believe sometimes that he never hurt,

But I guess I don't know that.

 

(As badly as I still want, for him to feel what he made me feel when he left me ONLY because our dads had a lifelong animosity and that there was no possibility of a future for US...)

 

And everyone is right on here,

Prioritise yourself.

It'll help more than anything else will right now,

And talk to someone whose a good listener...

 

Yeah, hearing that you couldn't feel the same way about anyone at college is the opposite of reassuring hahaha... I plan on just dropping her a final letter before college just apologizing for everything and saying a final goodbye forever type thing. I'm leaving for Thailand soon, so I'll do it right before then. After that, I'll just do my best to forget her and have fun in college. It sucks more because I go from being incredibly sad to not so sad to incredibly sad. It's quite confusing

Edited by NeverHurtSoMuch
  • Author
Posted

Hey guys, had a rough night so I thought I'd come on here and vent....

 

I dreamed about her, and had a dream where I was with her by accident post breakup and I asked to talk to her calmly and she screamed no and left. I woke up extremely sad and remembering my visit to her house when I asked her for a final hug and she said No! as if it was a heinous request.

Posted
Hey guys so I've posted on here before, but just a quick summary of my breakup;

I'm 18 and male and going off to college in less than two months, and my ex girlfriend is too. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago, we were together for around a year and a half, and it was the best time of my life. We were completely and totally head over heels in love with one another, and she even asked to stay together in college and make it work long distance. Fast forward around a year and she suddenly starts getting cold and distant, and progressively things get worse for a few months, with her saying mean and vicious things to me. Finally, she breaks up with me, we get back together, she breaks up with me again and we get back together again. Then, she breaks up with me a final time, around two weeks ago. Immediately following the last breakup, I was needy and essentially begged her to take me back, texting her and calling her countless times to no avail. Then, a week into NC, I went to her house unexpectedly with a letter, and she was angry, but she listened to what I had to say. She has since blocked me on facebook and I'm sure she has also blocked my phone number. It has been a week since I last tried to contact her. I love this girl with everything I have, and I know that she had feelings for me that were just as strong for so long. It is unfathomably difficult for me to understand why she doesn't want to try and make it work, and whether her words for a year meant anything. This morning, I woke up in tears, with a burning desire to go over to her place and talk to her again, convinced that if I just tell her how I feel, she would want to love me again like she always has. I'm posting on this forum because I know that going to her house would be a terrible idea, but I just don't know what to do :(

 

Man, I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but she did you a favor.

You're about to go off to college and experience... god... so many new things.

I truly envy you. You're at the beginning of the journey.

Go be miserable for another couple weeks, then get ready for the true best time of your life.

Forget this girl. She was probably cheating on you anyway.

Posted
The problem with MY healing is that I truly do not see myself wanting to be with anybody else... and another problem with MY healing is that I know she wants to be with other guys, and that in and of itself makes me feel absolutely terrible, and I know that regardless of how much I have "healed," I will be unimaginably sad knowing that she is with another guy because she wants to be.

I hear you , I saw my ex on a dating site so I know now she's ready to move on, that fine because I can't control her .. If that's what she wants then I wish her the best .. I also can't think about being with someone right now , but I'm telling you one day when you don't expect it you will meet some and that will be it .. It has happened to me a couple time after a breakup .. I stopped liking for someone and a few months later I met my now ex .. Just give yourself time to lick your wounds and it will happen

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Posted

Man, after a few good days I'm having a really bad one today... I really miss her, but I know she doesn't care about me at all anymore... it's just so hard to fathom that she went from so much love to so much distance and even dislike so quickly

Posted

I'm in the same boat, when will this feeling end .. Ugh I dorm ever wanna date again I just wanna feel ok ..

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Posted

I feel you bro....

 

it's literally the worst feeling i've ever felt, and I still feel it almost constantly. Everytime I see anything that reminds me of her, my heart absolutely sinks and its as if I have relapsed.

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Posted

Her friends also keep posting snapchat stories of her at a party drinking with her friends and having a lot of fun while I'm sitting at home miserable.

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Posted

Guys....

I know I'm posting on here a lot, but its the only outlet I have for my feelings...

 

Last night I had a vivid dream in which me and my ex were back together, and I woke up this morning in absolute tears. I thought I was making progress, but it absolutely kills me to think that she's not sad right now and that she wants to be with other people. It literally sucks and I don't know what to do... I desperately want her back, but I know she doesn't love me anymore

Posted
Guys....

I know I'm posting on here a lot, but its the only outlet I have for my feelings...

 

Last night I had a vivid dream in which me and my ex were back together, and I woke up this morning in absolute tears. I thought I was making progress, but it absolutely kills me to think that she's not sad right now and that she wants to be with other people. It literally sucks and I don't know what to do... I desperately want her back, but I know she doesn't love me anymore

 

Cant u get away someplace?

Where there aren't people or things that remind u of her?

 

Because then,

Ud only have ur own emotions to fight,

Which is easier...

If there aren't constant reminders from ur mutual friends...

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