Why are people trying to trivialize/trash the Institution of Marriage!

[SerCay]

GOod point OP, about those apps and websites for married people, to cheat discretely :S:S never understood those.

 

Not only do they have them for men or women, they now also have apps and sites for spouses who are bisexual.

 

iow: triggering people to become gay, or gays to become straight. (explanation: If man married to woman, triggered to have discrete sex with man. If man married to man, triggered to have discrete sex with woman, and the other way around for women.)

 

Nobody's sexuality is left to themselves it seems....and the sanctity of marriage, and respect for those who believe in it is out the door with our individualistic society.

 

I will never get married though. I have yet to meet a guy who thinks about marriage as being as sacred as I do. I do not want to be married for a person as you describe in your OP. Therefore, I will probably never be married.

[Phoenician]

The US has the worlds highest divorce rate.

I would assume there would be less of a stigma regarding divorce.

 

 

I am not sure if my marriage can still be called a marriage , for me it is a rotten relationship where we hate each other and stay for kids ;After 15 years i might even be less emotional toward my kids !

 

What I want to say is that divorce rate is not the indication of happiness ; I am not divorced yet but Is my marriage a happy one ?

 

you can count an ugly marriage among those that are healthy ...

[Got it]

Got it: Yes, that applies to both sexes. I admit that I still think in terms of men here because I had no idea that so many men cut off their wives. After being at LS that becomes quite obvious.

 

But in my defense, I have known many men who not only complain about not getting any, they joke about the idea of sex after marriage - sort of like bigfoot, you hear about it but never see it. It has been a complaint among men for as long as I can remember. I never imagined that so many women would have the same complaint.

 

Dreamingoftigers: I have found that three wonderful years followed by two months of tears is a pretty good deal. So I am no longer expecting more. I am going to spend time with women I adore with no goals other than enjoying the moment. So far that is the best thing I have ever found. I can see women who are way out of my league, find women who are highly compatible and with whom I share great chemistry, and enjoy it while it lasts. My first sb was like a dream, and I can't hope to find that depth and intensity again, but companionship and intimacy and happiness are certainly within reach again. The thing is, the women know it will end, so they view us men in a far different light. It is to me FWB on steroids and it completely changes the game.

 

 

People think having a sb is about sex. In part it is true, and a sugar baby is a many splendored thing, it can mean many different things, but in the best of circumstances it is an agreement to just be happy and enjoy each other.

 

Well, pay attention. I know I have discussed it as well as many other female posters. It was a major problem in my previous marriage; but it is in the past and I don't cry over it in my postings. I just divorced and moved on.

[Robert Z]

Well, pay attention. I know I have discussed it as well as many other female posters. It was a major problem in my previous marriage; but it is in the past and I don't cry over it in my postings. I just divorced and moved on.

 

Sure you did. I was being conciliatory and you are being nasty.

 

It is still a problem and a trap for many men. That is true regardless of the converse.

 

I'm not complaining as much as waving big red flags so it doesn't happen to other men... or me again! Why talk down marriage? It was a living hell! Is that better?

[Got it]

Sure you did. I was being conciliatory and you are being nasty.

 

It is still a problem and a trap for many men. That is true regardless of the converse.

 

I'm not complaining as much as waving big red flags so it doesn't happen to other men... or me again! Why talk down marriage? It was a living hell! Is that better?

 

Where did I question you talking down marriage? I don't care if you liked it or not.

 

I am saying men don't hold the martyr card on lack of sex in a relationship.

[casey.lives]

married people trash marriage,with their actions and their words. that doesn't help anyone either!!!!

[Woggle]

If you want to marry than marry and if you don't then don't. In western society there is no law saying you have to marry and now there is no law saying you can't no matter who you love so let people do what they want. If marriage meant nothing gay people wouldn't fought so hard to get it. The main reforms need to be in the divorce and family court laws which are draconian in some states.

[Just a Guy]

Hi folks, I am sorry but I could not access the internet for various reasons hence my lack of back of the many good posts on this topic. Thank you to those who have shed light on a very emotive issue. I wanted to clarify a few things here and these ate as follows.

I did not mean to convey the impression that I thought of marriage in a narrow rigid way. When I used the word institution I used it in the sense that marriage is usually perceived by most people. However marriages performed in the presence of a priest or s magistrate or any other variations of the actual ceremony would fine for the purposes of this thread.

 

Secondly, I should clarify that I think that only those people who actually believe in marriage and who atare monogamous by nature should actually get married. Also if a marriage is not working out apart of course, die to infidelity it is perfectly legitimate to divorce rather than continue in an unhappy relationship. Of course this implies that two people who intend to get married spend time with each other to check out factors like compatibility, nature of the SO, likes and dislikes and most important of all sexual compatibility. I think a lot of young people wanting to get married these days confuse infatuation or being in lust as actually being in love. They should also probably consult marriage counsellors on compatibility issues including things like finances and any other factors that the counsellor thinks is important.

 

I also think that those who do not want to marry but want to stay as a couple should freely do so. In fact common law partners are accepted in most Western nations and they are entitled to almost all the state benefits that married couples enjoy. Also there ate many common law relationships which outlast their married counterparts and children born within such relationships are happy and well adjusted.

 

It seems to me that marriages carry some import if gays/lesbian couples also want to regularize their relationship by getting married. So all in all marriage is still a viable option for a lot of people and not only for reasons of pecuniary benefits as pointed by some of the posters here.

 

In closing I would like to say that those who do not believe in marriages and long the relationships should go ahead with aFWB arrangement or just have NSA sex with anyone agreeable to it. No harm in that as long as one does not become an OM or OW to a married person. Cheers!

[2.50 a gallon]

MRIN

 

 

Do not believe every thing the government tells you.

53% is another government lie. They do not want the population to know the truth.

In the state that I live, I know some of the people who put out those stats. It is the higher ups who order them to keep the stat low. They count and the truth is in my state the divorce rate is actually right around 80%

Other than my parents, and a couple of aunts and uncles, aged in their 80's, I know of no one, who has not divorced at least once.

[2.50 a gallon]

I do not bash marriage. However I do caution young men to think carefully and to understand divorce laws prior to marriage.

Three of the happiest months of my life I was married. Three months later I caught her cheating.

Had we remained married for just a few years, I would have been financially screwed.

As a hobby, I liked creative writing. Some of which I have had published, the monies from which continue to be part of my income. Had we remained married for just a few more years, her cheating on me would have had no status in our divorce. Half of that money would be hers, some 35 years later. What did she do to earn those thousands of dollars? Absolutely nothing, other than being married to me.

I will never remarry, the potential for financial lose is too great.

[Just a Guy]

Hi 2.50 you're point well taken and in fact your experience just proves my point. People within marriages are the biggest culprits who trivialize marriage by indulging in affairs, so called open marriages and all that encompasses. If one wants to cheat then don't get married just sleep with any single person who reciprocates your advanced and be done with it. Why take down an innocent person with you and ruin the image of marriage.

 

I also wanted to add to my previous post and say that so called open marriages are an anachronism( Is that the right word?) Marriages by definition are closed entities. I like to think of marriage as a coin. The two faces of the coin represent the husband and wife. While the coin has two faces representing two individuals with differing characteristics the coin itself is an integral unit. It does not come with a zipper along it's circumference which one can unzip to add or subtract something. Those who have so called open marriages and those who indulge in affairs manage to cut the coin along it's circumference and thereby destroy the integrity of the coin( marriage) once and for all. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and no one could put him together again. The only way the coin van be restored to it's original pristine glory is for it to be melted down( In the case of marriages proceed with a divorce) and then recast. The nre coin will of course not be the same as before as there will be differences in composition etc. Similarly if the divorced couple get married to each other the new marriage will be different from the old one in many details. So my point is that you cannot really have an open marriage and if one says that they have one, then they ate propagating a myth.

 

I would like to add that I may be forgiven any typos as I am using my phone to type this out and being an old fogie I do not have the facility of the younger generation at my command. Thanks for reading and cheers!

[lana-banana]

Why would people trash marriage?

 

Maybe they grew up watching two miserable people yell and snipe at each other yet refuse to leave because "the marriage" was more important than their health or happiness.

 

Maybe they've traveled abroad and seen women abused, raped and murdered by their husbands with little or no consequences. Maybe they've been to countries that endorse child marriage.

 

Maybe they're disillusioned by an institution that was legally codified discrimination, not love. Hell, in the US, legal interracial marriage is still a relatively new phenomenon.

 

Maybe they were previously married and saw the legal system turn an already heartbreaking process into an impoverishing nightmare.

 

Every generation has a responsibility to understand the institutions it inherits from previous generations. (We also have the right to call them stupid without understanding...that's what young people do!) This can mean debating them, re-evaluating them, redefining them, even throwing them out altogether if they're no longer deemed useful. I personally value marriage as it's practiced in the west and believe it can have a great social benefit. However, I also recognize there are many legitimate reasons to see marriage as useless if not harmful, and I don't begrudge others their opinions. If we're going to update marriage for the 21st century we need to hear everyone's voices.