xxhippoxx Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Hi im new on here but im struggling to cope with my break up. My boyfriend of 7 years decided to be unfaithful. I found out last week that he had been messaging other women with intent on meeting told one that he was in love with her and wanted to meet her. We went through so much i had 8 miscarriages with him and i thought he would never ever betray me like this. Id known him for 15 years, we were soul mates. I also found his other secret phone he had, multiple facebook accounts and skype with so many women on there. Once i knew this i confronted him in tears.he denied it all at the start but finally said sorry and walked out. He refuses to speak to me about this and would rather be out with his mates. Im 31 hes 33. I dont know what to do anymore, i have no family as they have all passed away and no friends, im so lonely right now and my job is the only thing keeping me going. Do i forgive him or start a fresh life without him? I miss him so much but hes destroyed me doing this
yellowhibiscus Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 As someone who has dealt with infidelity in my past relationships and in my own family (my father had multiple affairs growing up), I understand completely how you feel. 7 years is a long time...but in my opinion, you shouldn't waste one more minute on this guy. It will be a tough road ahead, but believe me this is a blessing in disguise. This man who supposedly loved you had a secret phone and multiple facebook accounts??!! This kind of behavior is disgusting and should not be tolerated. Focus your energy on things that make you happy and take your mind off of things(even if that is work at the moment) and people who are going to respect you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I am 32, a single mom, and am trying to do this myself. Get yourself out there, try new hobbies, take time for yourself, and be good to YOU.
Redhead14 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Hi im new on here but im struggling to cope with my break up. My boyfriend of 7 years decided to be unfaithful. I found out last week that he had been messaging other women with intent on meeting told one that he was in love with her and wanted to meet her. We went through so much i had 8 miscarriages with him and i thought he would never ever betray me like this. Id known him for 15 years, we were soul mates. I also found his other secret phone he had, multiple facebook accounts and skype with so many women on there. Once i knew this i confronted him in tears.he denied it all at the start but finally said sorry and walked out. He refuses to speak to me about this and would rather be out with his mates. Im 31 hes 33. I dont know what to do anymore, i have no family as they have all passed away and no friends, im so lonely right now and my job is the only thing keeping me going. Do i forgive him or start a fresh life without him? I miss him so much but hes destroyed me doing this Focus on you and your needs right now. I seriously doubt that you have been doing this at all for a long time. 8 miscarriages is a lot of trauma. And, I'm not trying to criticize you or place blame on you in anyway, but a woman who has gone through all this, isn't really able to be a fully engaged partner and you may have been missing "signs" all along from him that he was pulling away. That being said, again, this is a lot of trauma. There is no way, he wasn't affected by this as well. In the end, yes, it was wrong of him to cheat instead of telling you that it wasn't working for him anymore. But, I'd say, that neither of you was able to be what the other needed through all this tragedy. Even if you forgive him, you will not be able to forget all this. It'll always be there. I think you need to focus on YOURSELF. You'll need to move on from all of this -- All the trauma, all the drama. Rebuild your life as a strong, independent, secure woman who has a bright future. You are much stronger than you think. All that you've gone through would have broken another woman down completely. Be a phoenix and rise from the ashes. You can do it.
tobrieornottobrie Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I'm so sorry for your losses, as well as what you're going through now. I think as pp's have mentioned during this time it's important that you take care of yourself. Try shifting your focus and making time to do things that you really enjoy. Have you considered counseling? Speaking with a professional may be really helpful as you're navigating this situation. My thoughts are with you, friend. Please remember to be kind to yourself. the brie's cheese knees
Recommended Posts