Author themfeels Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 OK I was going to reach out with a casual text tonight, was getting pretty excited about it, but first I texted a mutual friend to see what the situation with him was like. I was pretty sure he was single but as it turns out, he's dating his 17 year old employee. Toward the end of our relationship I noticed him and this girl were texting an awful lot, but I thought nothing of it because I never dreamed he would do anything with her. How can people go from being so in love, so happy, planning a life together, being completely comfortable around each other, to becoming complete strangers. How can something so amazing end? This is my first breakup so I have had no idea what to expect this whole time, and it's just getting worse and worse. I don't think I have any respect left for him and it's a knife in the heart because he used to mean the world to me. I've never been in this much pain in my life.
candie13 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 silence... people don't use that to sit around at home and contemplate their phone hope you'll text. It usually means that they are busy having a life. what happened is that you had misinterpreted his silence while projecting your expectations on this specific situation. It's a great learning opportunity, because it teaches you to only look at things in front of you. If he's interested, he calls or texts. If he's not... chances are he's calling and texting someone else. It sucks big time... don't worry, it happens to everyone. How about you trying to date someone new, yourself?
Author themfeels Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 silence... people don't use that to sit around at home and contemplate their phone hope you'll text. It usually means that they are busy having a life. what happened is that you had misinterpreted his silence while projecting your expectations on this specific situation. It's a great learning opportunity, because it teaches you to only look at things in front of you. If he's interested, he calls or texts. If he's not... chances are he's calling and texting someone else. It sucks big time... don't worry, it happens to everyone. How about you trying to date someone new, yourself? I don't know if I can. He was the first and only guy I've ever dated, not for lack of attention but because it takes a LOT for me to like a guy enough to want to be with him. If he's the only guy I've ever really liked to want to date, and he went and led me on for months (I now believe) and dumped me to hook up with his 17 year old employee, I have no faith in my taste in guys and absolutely no desire to seek another one out for a long time.
Ronni_W Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 ...I have no faith in my taste in guys and absolutely no desire to seek another one out for a long time. themfeels, don't let a jerk (or anyone else) make you question your own "inner stuff"; ALWAYS have faith in you! Put another way: there's nothing wrong with your taste in guys. There could be something more that you can learn about being more discerning, or about getting better at spotting the fakes, the phoneys, the creeps and the jerks. But those are issues at the mental level, not at the level of your identity or who you are as a person and what you know about your own self. When you feel up to it, check back and see if there were any signs or "red flags" that you unintentionally missed or consciously ignored. If you turn it into a learning opportunity (or an "experiment", if you will), then you'll come out on the other side even stronger than you were before you went in. Even so, I'm sorry that you're going through it. LOTS more hugs. 1
Author themfeels Posted July 14, 2015 Author Posted July 14, 2015 themfeels, don't let a jerk (or anyone else) make you question your own "inner stuff"; ALWAYS have faith in you! Put another way: there's nothing wrong with your taste in guys. There could be something more that you can learn about being more discerning, or about getting better at spotting the fakes, the phoneys, the creeps and the jerks. But those are issues at the mental level, not at the level of your identity or who you are as a person and what you know about your own self. When you feel up to it, check back and see if there were any signs or "red flags" that you unintentionally missed or consciously ignored. If you turn it into a learning opportunity (or an "experiment", if you will), then you'll come out on the other side even stronger than you were before you went in. Even so, I'm sorry that you're going through it. LOTS more hugs. Thanks so much, I appreciate your kind words. There were a few red flags and I'm trying to learn from it. I'm just having a LOT more trouble moving on than I thought. I'm starting work soon though so hopefully that will help distract me and give me a social life
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