Avacado47 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 So I've recently split with my bf through a mutual decision, we both realised we are not getting what we wanted from the relationship and we are more like best friends than anything else. I'll give a little background, We first met over 2 years ago when he wanted to take me on a date, I wasn't really interested in a relationship at the time but went anyway because he told me nothing had to come of it. We went on the date and it was nice but I didn't want to take it any further at the time, we then stayed in touch as friends for the next 18 months and he would every now and again ask to go on a second date. I finally caved when I felt I was ready for a relationship and we soon became really close and made it official. We were together for just over 8 months and it was the happiest I've ever been we went away together, celebrated birthdays together, Christmas, got really close to his family and we spoke every day but we both always knew we were never going to last forever. We were/are completely in love with each other.. But sometimes that isn't enough. Now that we have separated we are trying to stop talking as much but not cut contact all together (I owe him a bit of money and I'm looking after his dog when he goes away for 3 weeks). I don't want to get back with him nor does he want to get back with me and we really want to see each other happy and still have each other in our lives but I don't think I could ever see him be happy in somebody else's arms. I need to know has anybody else been through a similar situation or has any advice because it feels like it is getting harder and harder everyday. I've already lost my boyfriend, I don't want to lose my best friend too.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I don't think you can ever go back to just being close friends. Your dynamic changed when you started dating and it will never be quite the same as it was before. You're going to need real space and time apart before working on a platonic friendship. But I wouldn't expect to return to "best friend" status. Others may disagree but in my experience, it just doesn't work that way after a break-up. I have to be honest though - I don't totally get why you broke up? You stated you both knew it wouldn't be forever...how/why? It sounds like it was going well (based on your description) so what happened to cause this split?
Author Avacado47 Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 I completely understand what you're saying, I don't necessarily want to stay best friends but I don't want to lose somebody who means that much to me and understands me in ways others don't. We were sort of tricking ourselves into thinking it was what we both wanted, when we were together it was great, we kissed and cuddled and most of the time just laughed, but we argued over the silliest things that we could never agree to disagree, we wanted different things he is very ambitious and knows what he wants in life, he wants to fine dine and is always really busy, where as I still don't know what I want from life, I'm still working part time so don't have the money to do the things he wants and would rather spend the night in watching Netflix.
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