Man that promises the future

[Amas5750]

Can anyone please have input on my situation. I am divorced in January 2015 and then a seeingly perfect man entered my life in march, promised me the world for a few months, then left abruptly. moves back in with his ex "because his son isn't coping but not to reconcile with the ex (who he says he hasn't loved for 4 years)

 

I am confused, extremely hurt and obsessing in my mind because I don't have much closure.

This is a long read, but please give me input about what u think the situation is.

 

 

I'm so so angry that what you said didnt match what you did. You knew I was vulnerable and you talked me out of it.*

You said everything you knew I'd want to hear. Then I was abruptly put aside.*

 

How dare you tell me that you have never fallen for anyone so quickly, how dare you tell me you could see me holding our child. And how dare you talk me out of it when I expressed doubts about the fact we didn't know each other very well.*

 

You ****ing bastard.*

You ****ed with my head. You said you adored me and miss my curls. You said you could see yourself falling in love with me very easily.*

You were the one sending flowers to my work and asking if we could be exclusive.

 

You were the one that said you could see marriage in the distance and that we had "undeniable" chemistry.

 

You really did a number on me.*

 

You are, however, a dime a dozen. I cannot wait for more time to pass so I can see it even more clearly. You are not particularly interesting and misspell even the easiest of words. You don't read. You don't want to travel. You neglected your wife from what it sounds. You didn't understand my article that I wrote, I had to explain it to you. You are simple. I knew it. *You only talk about people, rarely events or concepts.*

How uninspiring would that be in the long term?*

 

You ****ing tried to grasp at straws when I expressed that we had nothing in common.*

 

It never had legs.

 

You treated your ex wife with apathy and wouldn't even say it to her face. You stayed in the house even though you didn't love Her for four years.*

You had an air of deception about you at times. You would not put me out there because you would lose more money because of it. . You wouldn't tell others on the boat it was done. Liar. You didn't clue her in that you were mentally out of the marriage for 4 years. I think she honestly didn't know.

 

How dare you ask me good suburbs to rent in, as if you were going to stay out of the marital house . Saying that we could live together one day.

 

How dare you tell me your son would be gentle with subsequent children

 

How dare you ask me what wedding ideas I like.

 

How dare you tell me not to get offended when I'm pregnant cos you were *scared to have sex with your wife when she was pregnant.

 

How dare you repeatedly tell me how I'm the only one in your life now. How dare you prioritise me in word but not deed.*

 

You came on way too strong. I was not healed from my ex but you persisted .*

You told me I was beautiful but that's not what attracted you to me; you said you were instantly mesmerised by me. The way I carried myself with confidence.

 

You asked me how I fancied to decorate a home and what my taste was. You said you knew I'd accept your child.*

 

You said you wanted to do things right by me. You used to call me every morning and text me at work, seeming to check in.*

 

But you, as I'm seeing, are a dime-a-dozen. You are pretty dull. You are very good looking but that doesn't last. You were a bit *insecure which I valued as honesty and vulnerability. Perhaps that says more about me than you.*

 

I thought you were a good father therefore a good person. Your ex wife wouldn't have thrown her ring at you if you were as good as I thought you were.*

 

Your poor ex wife. Had a baby with you and 7 years later you leave her house, I'm sure, without much of an explanation. You are a coward. To me and more importantly to her.

 

You acted like a good guy. You turned out to not be a man of your word; you aided in me trusting you then defected. What an ******* move. Why did you go to the lengths you did? Needy bastard.*

Again, says more about you than me.

 

How dare you massage my feet, tell me you were a good cook, tell me you massaged your mum.*

 

How dare you ask me to visit her grave. How dare you tell me you'd like to eventually visit my family.*

 

How dare you let me open my legs for you. How dare you *** inside me and tell me you wouldn't mind if I got pregnant.

 

How dare you tell me how much you wanted a little girl; and that you liked the name "Victoria".

 

You are 38 years old. You should not have been reckless with your words. In some ways I feel sorry for you. U know that u might not still got it. *U know you are trapped in a **** situation.*

U know you have so much family baggage.*

 

Your poor wife was a virgin when she married you. She married you in your prime. After a baby was born you nearly left her. Bexause her postnatal depression makes her "psycho". You cut the cord. But now you cheated on her with me. ****ed me in the car and told her there was no one else.*

No one else when you were blocking her calls? No one else when you were having me over to ur friends house? No one else when you were in my bed? Really? No one?? No one when you lied to her and told her u were going out in the city when you fake dressed up and visited me. Liar. no one else when u were blocking my calls.

 

That poor woman. She is 34 with your child and was 26 when she married you. She has your child and you move out of the home and bed another 29 year old. Take her on dates and have sex. You asked to meet me at lunch and before work. And get off work early to meet. Keeping me a cheating secret.

Pig.

 

I'm at work so angry. Just replaying things. I go to the bathroom just so I don't cry at my desk.

 

He had no exciting ambition. He only saw me as an attractive mate to text banal **** to. He didn't know me well and was too dumb to realise that it matters.

 

I went to cambodia. He saw the pic and simply commented on the shoes I was wearing. Simple bastard. We were not compatible.*

 

He is a man child. He was not yet divorced. He has a **** situation.

 

I was vulnerable after my divorce.*

 

It was a storm in a teacup. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.*

 

His conversation wasn't stimulating. He just talked about people, not concepts. I'm so conceptual. *He would talk and regale stories of *what X said to Y.... Then what Y said in reply. Funny, dumb stories. Also just "what are you doing now?" conversations. Really nothing more than that.

 

He used to a be a very successful sportsman and Probably measured his worth by his good looks and scores of women. He probably validates himself through women.

 

Now in a stale marriage for many years he is wondering if he's still got it.

 

I am a good looking woman. He probably was curious and attracted and felt safe with me. I tend to make people feel safe.*

 

He didn't read books. Never read the major newspaper.

 

What would we have talked about?

 

You sent me poems you wrote (dumb little basic statements strung together). You asked me if I liked them. You seemed to care what I thought if u.*

 

You sent me a pic of what your body USED to look like 10 years ago. "you can tell its me by the tattoos"...*

Why? How's it relevant?*

 

You asked me if you still had it.*

 

You sent flowers to my work.*

 

You told me your feelings are confirmed more and more every time we spend together.

 

You dropped me so quickly after chasing me and reassuring me. I'm left trying to figure it out.*

 

I guess it boils down to us being vulnerable and needy in our own ways. I trusted you because that's who I am. I was so weakened from my divorce and so lost.*

You have your own **** going on plus you're a bit of a coward and liar. *You painted a pretty picture of our future without the license to.

You hurt me at an extremely raw time.*

I was at a point where I was needy and clingy. It hurt because you assured me beyond measure then dropped me permanently with one phone call.*

[TaraMaiden2]

Whoa there.....!

 

Ok, let's calm this down and rein it back a bit.

 

Have you said this to him?

If not, are you intending to send him any of this?

 

Basically, if you haven't already said this to him there is little point in doing so.

The guy seems to be a player, and is dangling you as an option.

 

The best thing to do is to cut him out of your life, go complete total No Contact (see the No Contact link in my signature), block all and any access he has to you as a means of being able to communicate with you and cut him out of your life.

 

Yes, I said that twice because it bears repeating.

 

I think you vented well, but honestly he's not worth sending all that anger, to.

 

The best way to really heal, is to delete, deny and move on.

 

Breathe.....

[Amas5750]

Thanks for the reply.

 

No I didn't send any of this to him

 

I just needed to vent my anger somewhere

 

I know it's crazy psycho angry

 

I needed to get it out.

 

Yes have gone NC for about a month