seixal Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I met this girl at my graduate program, we quickly got along I could feel an interest being born. She is a good girl, meaning she has super good morals, is a genuinely nice person, has a serenity that I think is attractive. Now while she is certainly not ugly, I think she is not at full potential look wise because she doesn't dress up often and is a little lacking a girly side. I have seen pictures of her with make up on and cute clothes and her hotness is greatly improved. The thought of dating her crossed my mind but I also have mixed feelings about it, on one hand I'm attracted to her, but on the other hand while I definitely do not like shallow girls I wish she was a little more girly. Do you think you can date someone in this situation?
TheBathWater Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I met this girl at my graduate program, we quickly got along I could feel an interest being born. She is a good girl, meaning she has super good morals, is a genuinely nice person, has a serenity that I think is attractive. Now while she is certainly not ugly, I think she is not at full potential look wise because she doesn't dress up often and is a little lacking a girly side. I have seen pictures of her with make up on and cute clothes and her hotness is greatly improved. The thought of dating her crossed my mind but I also have mixed feelings about it, on one hand I'm attracted to her, but on the other hand while I definitely do not like shallow girls I wish she was a little more girly. Do you think you can date someone in this situation? Sure. You're obviously curious about her enough if you're coming on the forum to talk about it. Are you seeking others approval to pursue her or something? It sounds like you're interested to see what is possible between the two of you. I say go for it, and worst case, it doesn't work out. What is there to lose?
DaisyBug Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 If you're unsure, it's unfair to her to get something started and her feelings involved, then decide, "Never mind - your looks just don't cut it for me. See ya!" Why not just keep getting to know her as friends? Why does everyone want to go from zero to 60 all the time? Once you really get to know her - and that takes a little time! - an attraction will either develop or it won't. THEN you'll have your answer. 1
Popsicle Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Just be friends. Why do you need to "date" (whatever that means) her?
yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Yes, up until: 1. You find someone you ARE attracted to 2. They fall head over heals in love with you 3. Their petty little nuisances start to annoy you 4. The sex gets boring 1
yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Just be friends. Why do you need to "date" (whatever that means) her? Sex, of course (silly girl)
Leigh 87 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I don't understand people that date people they are not wildly attracted to. Why not hold out for propper chemistry? 1
DaisyBug Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Yes, up until: 1. You find someone you ARE attracted to 2. They fall head over heals in love with you 3. Their petty little nuisances start to annoy you 4. The sex gets boring Wow, that's just so wrong. Ha.
yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Wow, that's just so wrong. Ha. Wrong, but in a good way...?
joseb Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I don't understand people that date people they are not wildly attracted to. Why not hold out for proper chemistry? You know, the longer I'm on here, the more I'm agreeing with Leigh's chemistry assessment.
MonorailCat Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I don't understand people that date people they are not wildly attracted to. Why not hold out for propper chemistry? If I would date only women I find extremely hot I wouldn't have had a date in the last 6 years. So I have to settle with "kinda attracted". Beggars can't be choosers :/ 1
Leigh 87 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 If I would date only women I find extremely hot I wouldn't have had a date in the last 6 years. So I have to settle with "kinda attracted". Beggars can't be choosers :/ Chemistry has not much to do with intense attraction. I am not mega hot. Look at my profile pics that I took yesterday. Yet I have manged to find men who think I am extremely.... Extremely hot. The later guy is way above my league and yet thinks I am hot. He is way more than " sort of " attracted. And I am not a model.
Leigh 87 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 You know, the longer I'm on here, the more I'm agreeing with Leigh's chemistry assessment. Unless they wanna have an afrair or regret settling when they DO invariably meet the one they DO feel intense chemistry and a connection with. They can join the bad wagon of taken men who regularly hit on me. Vomit. Because they lamented the lack of spark and passion within their sex lives.
joseb Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 If I would date only women I find extremely hot I wouldn't have had a date in the last 6 years. So I have to settle with "kinda attracted". Beggars can't be choosers :/ It's not about only trying to date extremely "hot" women. The most intense chemistry I ever had was with a woman that people would probably say was average looking. I found her cute but not hot to look at. But the chemistry was amazing. We literally couldn't keep our hands off each other. 3
guest569 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 i often date men who are natural and dont wear revealing clothes and makeup, who i find very much attractive. IF you aren't attracted to someone unless they change their appearance i dont think she is the one for you. 1
ltjg45 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 It's not about only trying to date extremely "hot" women. The most intense chemistry I ever had was with a woman that people would probably say was average looking. I found her cute but not hot to look at. But the chemistry was amazing. We literally couldn't keep our hands off each other. Well, it is a catch-22. Like Leigh, if I don't feel the desire to touch and hold my woman every chance I get, I wouldn't even bother approaching her. You would think that would be a good thing......until you notice that it is the main reason why I am a 28-year old virgin and looks like a MGTOW. Because I only saw some women I am lukewurm about, only a handful that I am attracted to but it takes a foreign woman for me to be wildly attracted to her. As we all know, time is very unfriendly to us. Humans get old pretty darn fast. If we wait too long, we get nothing for waiting for that instant chemistry.
DaisyBug Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Wrong, but in a good way...? Uh...NO, silly! This is a "good girl" we're talking here, not someone to be physically and emotionally used. Only "acceptable" if the OP is straight up with her and states his intentions, at the very LEAST saying, "I'm not looking for anything serious." She can guess what that means.
xxoo Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Is it really about her make up and clothes? Sexual chemistry shouldn't be about that stuff. She's just not the one for you. If it's that rare for you to feel very attracted to a woman, maybe that's something to examine about yourself.
katiegrl Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Uh...NO, silly! This is a "good girl" we're talking here, not someone to be physically and emotionally used. Only "acceptable" if the OP is straight up with her and states his intentions, at the very LEAST saying, "I'm not looking for anything serious." She can guess what that means. DB......I could be wrong but I am fairly certain Tuna's post was tongue-n-cheek and not to be taken literally. Of course it would be very wrong to use this woman or any woman - until someone better came along, Tuna knows that. He made that post to emphasize the absurdity of that. That's how I interpreted in anyway. Maybe he should have put LOL at the end to make clear it was not to be taken seriously.
katiegrl Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 OP, do you feel "chemistry" with this girl..... you know that *click* -- that *spark*? Chemistry goes deeper than looks...or how hot you find someone initially. It's that *click* you feel with someone that tells you he or she is someone *special* whom you want to spend time with and get to know better. Just because she checks all your boxes on paper, does not mean you will, or even should, feel that special click with her. Bottom line, if she's not feminine (or girly) enough for you and you're not "feeling it" then keep her as a friend. 1
DaisyBug Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 DB......I could be wrong but I am fairly certain Tuna's post was tongue-n-cheek and not to be taken literally. . Oh! Ha - could be. Men say that stuff quite a bit and are NOT joking, so I never know anymore!!!
GoodOnPaper Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I don't understand people that date people they are not wildly attracted to. Why not hold out for propper chemistry? I think the short answer is that guys don't handle dry spells well ...
katiegrl Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Oh! Ha - could be. Men say that stuff quite a bit and are NOT joking, so I never know anymore!!! I hear ya! But based on Tuna's previous posts.... I highly doubt he was serious. Other male posters on this board? I wouldn't be so sure about!!
FortunateSon Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Looks are important, but so is chemistry. I have dated some gorgeous women that I had no physical chemistry with, leading me to eventually not even want to touch them. Conversely, the two longest relationships I had, I found the women to be "moderately" attractive at first, but their attractiveness grew as chemistry was revealed. In the end, I think both are necessary to be fulfilled. 2
Leigh 87 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Yeah, the hottest men I had seemed to not generate ANY chemistry. The men I went gaga over were average... At best. Now I am feeling.. Insane chemistry with a man who is actually very hot. He is the first " hot" guy that I have had. The butterflies are pumping and I blush every time I am around him. So as you can see, chemistry isnt necessarily about who has the nicest abs. It is just that FEELING you get, the yearning for them. 1
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