2 Months NC and she called to ask about rent. Wuuuuuut!?

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

Sup guys. I'm back today to mention well something awkward, my ex called me tonight and was like hey I just wanted to know if you were going to pay your half of the rent? I was like um what? Your calling me for rent? She was like yeah, your name is still on the lease so... I was like I don't live there anymore....? Then she was like well if the rent isn't paid we will get evicted. Then I got quiet and I'm like I don't live there anymore. She got quiet and was like what then? After a few minutes I was like well I'm at work idk what to tell you and she was like do you want me to call you back later? I'm like idk what to say? But I have to go so we hung up.

She called me from an unknown number so this is why I had answered. Also it's been 2 months. 2 months with no communition between the two of us and she calls me for rent? I assumed she had moved out by now. I'm pretty dumbfounded. Told a really good friend of mine about it and she thinks my ex was looking for some generic reason to call me. she's either trying to get under my skin or somehow trying to prod back into my life? What do you guys think?

I'm still dumbfounded that she called and for the rent? Whatttt?

[Art_Critic]

If your ex can pay the rent without your help then let it go, however if she can't then you might want to fulfill your obligation to the lease holder to make sure they don't pursue you for collections.

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

The problem is I'm on the lease as an occupant, it wouldn't affect me and I had explained this to her when we first broke up. There's no obligations for me at all. It was just very strange that she contacted me after 2 months for rent. Like what about the last 2 months?

[Art_Critic]

Well there ya go, it wasn't about the rent.. a feeler then.. keep NC and ignore her, she was just checking to see if you were still on her hook to do as she wished and then would go silent.

[pidgeon1010]

Ok so you have confirmed you are not a lessee per the lease terms who is obligated to pay rent. I was going to say maybe she hit a rough patch and wanted you to start paying what you are responsible for but since you're only listed as an occupant (with no financial responsibility), the I would say the call was probably a fishing expedition. She's probably curious about what you're up to and/or she was trying to get a reaction out of you. Nothing good!

[SoThatHappened]

All I can say is like remain all NC and stuff and like don't pay her a dime and like move on...

 

Sorry. She was fishing. Sweep it under the rug and continue no contact.

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

So to follow up, I physically went into the leasing office to make sure I had no legal obligations. I don't because I did not sign my name anywhere. However, she did text me again last night just saying "hello?". It's so freakinf hard not to reply lol

[Phoenixashes]

Very smart of you to check the legal aspect (just for peace of mind as you were sure anyway )

 

Given she was getting by just fine without you helping and the following up "hello," she's just making her presence known. Why? Who knows but stay strong.

[DexterLS]

I have broken NC too many times to know that it brings nothing but pain in the end.

 

Don't reply. Ignore. You can do it

[Conflicted12]

I recently split but agreed to pay rent for a few months as we both had a financial obligation to do so.

Do you not think it's the decent thing to do?

shafting someone financially over a breakup is very bad form.

[mightycpa]

I recently split but agreed to pay rent for a few months as we both had a financial obligation to do so.

Do you not think it's the decent thing to do?

shafting someone financially over a breakup is very bad form.

I wonder if you had not, maybe you could have gotten a better deal on the daughter. Seems to me like your good deed did not go unpunished.

[Chi townD]

Well, since your name is still on the lease; legally, you're obligated. However, once you catch up on the rent, you need to talk to the landlord to get your name of the lease. You might have to pay a penalty, but at least your obligation is over.

[aloneinaz]

I'd NEVER answer my phone from a number I don't recognize, blocked, etc. If it's an important call, they leave a message.

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

Like I said I'm on no legal obligation as I was only an occupant. Not saying it Ina bad way but if you were keeping up with me, she was asking me to pay for the rent after I moved out even though she has someone else in her life. I did pay the last month that I lived there's rent. I also left her anything I owed. Is it decent? Yes. However, them leaving you and expecting you to take care of them? That's just selfish. Also I only answered because I had my Bluetooth headset on listening to music and it started ringing thinking it was an emergency I answered and it was her lol.

[FistOfTheNorthStar]

So I texted my ex on Friday. Something in me told me just to go ahead and do so. So I did. The following is partially of how our conversation went:

 

Me: hi

Her: Hey

Me: What's up?

Her: Just cleaning and watching some Disney. How about you?

Me: Working as always. Did you need something from me?

Her: No. Well idk. I never thought that we would ever break up. I never expected for us to ever split or for me to pay the lease by myself. Im sorry about how the relationship ended, it just felt like it didn't end right. I thought we wouldn't be happy anymore and idk...

Me: Honestly, ive been doing my own thing and found out we should have never broken up. Thing's could have been worked through.

Her: Well you didn't know how to break me the way I needed to be broken, how to push me and provoke me the way I needed to be. I learned that I am blah blah blah (A load of crap that the new guy has fed her). At one point I have tried to run away and I found someone else with whom to share my pain with (a sister so to speak).

 

As I said its partial because most of it is a load of **** that this guy fed her to make her think I was in the wrong. Long story short she was saying that I had run away when she thought I would have fought for her. Reality is no matter what I would have said or done for her his word was obviously more meaningful. Anyways after a few more loads of bullcrap texts of her sending me I respond with:

 

Me:So what exactly is it that you want from me?

Her: I just wanted to know if you would be able to pay your half of the rent. At least until the lease is up. You CONVINCED me to get this expensive apartment ($569 per month)

 

Within my expansion of the community I currently am in, I have learned that the guy she left me for is scum that no one respects. Someone who talks very big but has absolutely no idea what he is doing. He looks for new girls and new people to spread the gospel and overpower himself to take them. My ex is a clear example of one of these girls. Including two other girls that he has with her. Again, seriously are you THAT OBLIVIOUS that he's full of it?

Also she had moved on with him the next day after our breakup, and has moved in with him. All of the clothes and things they're his ex wifes. I know this because I was curious as to how the ex wife came to be an ex. Turns out he pulled the exact same shady thing to her. They got together when she was young and naive at age 21, got married and he is irresponsible. A 37 year old banker who cannot control his own money, has no friends, has little to no respect in the community. He has to pay child support for one of his kids that wants absolutely NOTHING to do with him, owes alimony to the ex wife and now has to support 3 girls, one who is my ex that has a toddler. So the conversation ends like this:

 

Me: Look. I didn't convince you to get the apartment. When we got it together we were going to work together to work it through. However, you had promised me that you would find a job and make yourself independent as to support your child.

Her: Well I was working on it but I went to a social event and I hit a bad spot but (that moron) helped me out.

Me: I went to the leasing office this morning before work. I asked them if I was signed on there with any legal obligations. I never signed any papers and they themselves showed me that I am a occupant. When it comes to the lease and all legal obligations, they fall on you. I'm sorry but when you broke up with me, you also broke up with my support. I cannot help you with that. However, if your child is ever in the emergency room or he needs a safe place. I will be here.

 

After that text I blocked her number.

It was kindly a sense of relief. I won't lie I am still hurt and the fact that the relationship got buried in a mountain of lies annoys me. Now that I know the truth, of how this guy she left me for is nothing short of a low life predator, I know I did nothing wrong. I have lost 42lbs since the breakup and get more confident when I look at the mirror. I am growing in the community that she had tried so hard to be in, but with her following of that guy she's looking just as bad and lost as him. A community member who is also a close friend of mine herself told me that she messaged her the day she called me because she was thinking of her. The response she got was definitely not her. It felt fake, robotic and as if the energy wasn't there anymore. She has lost herself to the lies of an idiot.

 

I won't lie though it still hurts. As a quote I read last night says "The first person you think of in the morning and the last person that is on your mind before you fall asleep, is either the person who holds your heart closest, or has hurt you so."

I woke up thinking about her. I cried listening to Passenger's "Let her go".

However, I am the one still standing. I am the one who never lost himself.

 

My friends. This journey I am on. It is beautiful. The end of my relationship, opened a new door to my true being. If you break NC be expectant of the unexpected. I was ready for the fake regret, I was ready for her reeling for me to break and help her.

I end this post with this song.

 

 

-F

[aloneinaz]

After reading this, I don't think you owe her anything. I'm glad you blocked her number. She's shown her character and you have to know you're better off w/out her in your life..

 

 

Want to get past this as quick as you can? Stay NC w/her and you'll feel better and maybe want to start looking for your next great RS.

[mightycpa]

****ing A. Good for you man. That is ****ing MANLY strong. She's going to want someone like you one day. That day might even be tomorrow, but don't go back. She's a user.

 

I hope you have a speedy recovery, and that your heart catches up with your mind soon.