davidromero43 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Where were you guys when all those multi-dating threads were being created and discussed? Many believe in multi-dating for precisely that reason - to protect their feelings and not get too invested too soon...until they develop trust. It's a catch 22, cause how does the woman (or man) you're dating develop trust in YOU enough to let their guard down so YOU can trust them...if you are dating others while you are dating them? Not gonna happen and in the OP's case, he dumped her because of it! It's a lose lose. So true. She kept saying it was no big deal. But when she saw how upset I was about it. She thought I was going to try and get even, by having sex with someone else. This really damaged her trust in me. And I didn't even do anything. But the longer I felt hurt, the more afraid she became. It is a bad catch 22 for everyone. And it does feel like cheating, even if it is not. Edited July 8, 2015 by davidromero43 1
Author Real-life Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 YOu're all right too, if she was interested she would not have been talking to anyone else, also why I am not overly impressed. IF she wants me and comes back she is going to have to work for it for sure.
Author Real-life Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) So true. She kept saying it was no big deal. But when she saw how upset I was about it. She thought I was going to try and get even, by having sex with someone else. This really damaged her trust in me. And I didn't even do anything. But the longer I felt hurt, the more afraid she became. It is a bad catch 22 for everyone. And it does feel like cheating, even if it is not. Also it would be one thing if she had met him and I at the same time and she didn't know either of us. But that's not the case, we had known each other for a over a year prior so it makes it all the more shady in my mind. Edited July 8, 2015 by Real-life
mg101 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 So true. She kept saying it was no big deal. But when she saw how upset I was about it. She thought I was going to try and get even, by having sex with someone else. This really damaged her trust in me. And I didn't even do anything. But the longer I felt hurt, the more afraid she became. It is a bad catch 22 for everyone. And it does feel like cheating, even if it is not. My current bf revealed he was dating his ex and me at the same time in the very beginning. They'd broken up months prior and were dating casually again to see if they could resolve things. It's been 8 months into our relationship and although he broke it off with her before we became exclusive, it STILL bothers me till this day. In fact, we're "arguing" about it right at this moment. It IS very damaging. I completely agree. Makes me feel like he was being deceptive even though it wasnt technically cheating.
mg101 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 YOu're all right too, if she was interested she would not have been talking to anyone else, also why I am not overly impressed. IF she wants me and comes back she is going to have to work for it for sure. And even if she was talking to someone else, she certainly wouldn't have heightened the relationship to the point of sex. Given your facts, you're in the right to feel uneasy. Let it be. She's made her choice and she can't transfer the blame for it to you. It was hers to make.
Author Real-life Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 And even if she was talking to someone else, she certainly wouldn't have heightened the relationship to the point of sex. Given your facts, you're in the right to feel uneasy. Let it be. She's made her choice and she can't transfer the blame for it to you. It was hers to make. Right, she made hers and I had to make mine and it sucks as that is the only issue, granted a big one but that's life.
Author Real-life Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 So true. She kept saying it was no big deal. But when she saw how upset I was about it. She thought I was going to try and get even, by having sex with someone else. This really damaged her trust in me. And I didn't even do anything. But the longer I felt hurt, the more afraid she became. It is a bad catch 22 for everyone. And it does feel like cheating, even if it is not. How did you get over that? It seems like a lot to over come in all honesty.
lolablue17 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Cheating has nothing to do with what has happened. You and her are just not on the same page. You're very disappointed because you thought she will do thing differently, but her standards are legitimate the same as yours. You're young and your growing process is to learn how to improve you radar to search girls that are on the same page with you, and to understand that it's not a perfect world and people can disappoint you sometimes. I wouldn't take her back if she wants to. Because as i said in the beginning - You're not on the same page.
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