Drspell12 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I need opinions on this please. I'm a 28 old male who still lives with his parents, drinks a lot (well it's the true so eff it... sorry I guess), spends a lot of money on video games, has two jobs (one of them is pretty irregular, the other one, as a teacher, isn't ) has the fame of being a womanizer or fame of having treated exes badly when they didn't deserve it and who sleeps around and even with one of the exes? Would you seek something serious with me? Do I need to change? And no I'm not trolling.... I'm just being honest about myself...
eleve82 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I need opinions on this please. I'm a 28 old male who still lives with his parents, drinks a lot (well it's the true so eff it... sorry I guess), spends a lot of money on video games, has two jobs (one of them is pretty irregular, the other one, as a teacher, isn't ) has the fame of being a womanizer or fame of having treated exes badly when they didn't deserve it and who sleeps around and even with one of the exes? Would you seek something serious with me? Do I need to change? And no I'm not trolling.... I'm just being honest about myself... Wouldn't touch you with a barge pole. 2
preraph Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Well, obviously someone is attracted to you for you to have a history as a womanizer. But no one who has any standards is going to want you long-term as you are now. I don't know if you have always lived with mom or not, but if so, you need to get out and become a man NOW. No one wants a full-grown child and what you've described sounds like one, video games, living with mom and her catering to you like a kid, excessive drinking. Time to deal with it if you have a habitual drinking habit and go to AA. Time to grow up and move out on your own and support your own self and pick up after and take care of your own self. Get a good job and hold it down for at least a year and stop wasting precious times playing mindless video games, and then you can probably find a woman with some standards to make a life with. Otherwise, you're just looking for a mommy -- and I can assure you parent/child relationships are not conducive to good sex. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 You need to change in the sense that you need to grow up. Get your own place. Drink less, it will help you have the money to afford your own place. Stop being a cad. If you fix those, I'm sure women will date you. Having two jobs even if one is sporadic shows some work ethic.
lollipopspot Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 fame of having treated exes badly when they didn't deserve... Do I need to change? Why wouldn't you want to change? Do you feel good about treating people badly?
Author Drspell12 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 You'd need to stop drinking as a first step. This is something I don't really plan on doing so far. I don't feel like it's that much of an issue I do think I need to spend less money on video games...
SandraTempleton Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 We are similar in age (I think you mentioned being 28 and I'm 27) however I believe that's where the similarities end. I honestly don't think I could date someone that still lives with their parents especially if they don't have a clear goal as to when they are moving out. Did you move back home to take care of a family member or pay off your debt? If that's the case, I think both are highly commendable and you should mention that if it came up with a date about why you were still living with your parents. If you are still living with your parents to support your video gaming or bar tab, then I think you need to think twice about what you really want out of life. I'm just wondering how many video games you truly need? And if you do have so many, is that really what you do with all your free time? The bar thing is off putting, especially from the way you describe yourself. It doesn't really sound like you want to change your lifestyle. And I can't imagine a lot of ladies looking for someone that acts like a manchild. Unless they want to raise a 28 year old. I had an ex boyfriend that was like this only replace video games with watching tv. We lived together for two years but most of the financial responsibility fell on me. What drove me absolutely crazy was he never had money to help with the rent or groceries but always managed to have money for the bar and cigarettes. I am so grateful that he is no longer in my life because he was just like a dead weight dragging behind me.
DaisyBug Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 A well-raised woman wouldn't, but there are a few who will be drawn to such men. Heck, look at all the groupies serial killers have, getting love letters in prison! Even Charles Manson found him a lady!
yxalitis Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I DIDN'T READ YOUR POST, but I will still answer: Yes
Elias33 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 It depends on who you want to attract. The more effort, the more results. Maybe your question was rethorical, I'm sure you know there's not a huge demand for adults living at home with a drinking problem. Re-invent yourself, you can still do the things you do but balance it out. You'd be amazed how attractive maturity and dicipline is to others.
BlueIris Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 OP, what do you want? What does "something serious" mean to you? Would you date a woman who still lives with her parents, drinks a lot, spends a lot of money on recreation, is known as having treated exes badly and who sleeps around? You said you don't intend to quit the heavy drinking, but drinking is often avoidance and escapism, and people who avoid or escape often aren't and can't be "serious" by my understanding of the word. I'd say, live on your own for a few years before trying to start "something serious."
spiderowl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) I need opinions on this please. I'm a 28 old male who still lives with his parents, drinks a lot (well it's the true so eff it... sorry I guess), spends a lot of money on video games, has two jobs (one of them is pretty irregular, the other one, as a teacher, isn't ) has the fame of being a womanizer or fame of having treated exes badly when they didn't deserve it and who sleeps around and even with one of the exes? Would you seek something serious with me? Do I need to change? And no I'm not trolling.... I'm just being honest about myself... Nope, but then I'm older and have seen how these things can pan out long term. My friend, who drank a lot when younger, is now an alcoholic. His two, former wives left him because of the drinking. He fell because of drinking and broke his leg. It's never recovered properly so he has trouble getting about. He's my age but quite disabled and lonely now. Lives with his parents? Possibly. I have a friend who lives with his parents. He's the most generous and caring guy I know. I'm sure his parents appreciate him being around. It doesn't make him any less of a man. If he found a nice girl, I'm sure he'd be willing to move and still support his parents. However, he does drink and smoke too, so finding the right girl is not easy for him. Spending a lot of money on video games would be a turn off. A younger woman would imagine the money for rent/mortgate/electricity/baby food being wasted on video games. Yes, it would be a concern. It depends how much money I guess, but you said a lot. Being a womaniser is not good; a reformed womaniser not too bad. We all like to think we can change him (foolish though that is). Sleeping around is a turn off. If he can't remain faithful, then no, he's not going to be a good choice. Why are you asking? Are you thinking of changing any of these things in the light of what people say? Perhaps a better question might be, why do you behave like this when you have at least some inkling that women might be turned off by it? Edited July 7, 2015 by spiderowl
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Well, that's the good thing about meeting a new woman - when starting off with a clean slate, she only knows about you what you tell her.... so don't feel the need to tell her your whole autobiography, you don't have time anyway... and don't treat her like you counselor... so tell her the good stuff and not the bad, and you'll have no problem. Openness and honesty are two different things - if you want to be open, get a shrink. Girls just want to have fun.
TunaCat Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Each woman is different. I can say that for myself, I wouldn't date you. The excessive drinking would be a dealbreaker right there. I do not want to be with someone who drinks a lot. Add that to the fact that you spend a lot of money on video games. That speaks to financial irresponsibility to me, and that's not okay with me. The living at home thing doesn't bother me, probably because I still live at home myself. I live at home due to health issues. 1
caringsister Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Absolutely not. Absolutely. No I wouldn't date a person like you've described Yes you need to make changes for yourself before anyone else. Edited July 8, 2015 by caringsister 1
TheBathWater Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I need opinions on this please. I'm a 28 old male who still lives with his parents, drinks a lot (well it's the true so eff it... sorry I guess), spends a lot of money on video games, has two jobs (one of them is pretty irregular, the other one, as a teacher, isn't ) has the fame of being a womanizer or fame of having treated exes badly when they didn't deserve it and who sleeps around and even with one of the exes? Would you seek something serious with me? Do I need to change? And no I'm not trolling.... I'm just being honest about myself... I'm sure some women would, and some wouldn't. Just like some women would want to be with a successful, independent, emotionally stable man, and others wouldn't. Logic has very little to do with actual sexual attraction. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. 1
Author Drspell12 Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 I see. This is interesting... I want to date a good woman but also she has to be compatible with me. It seems that the way I am is not enough for a woman of quality... changes need to be made I guess...
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Living with mommy & daddy, playing video games & engaging in indulgent behavior (drinking "a lot" as you put it) makes you seem more like a child. Women want a serious relationship with a man they can count on. If you want a serious relationship you need to be that guy. If you change your address, cut down on the drinking & reduce your gaming you should be OK. 1
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