ppy6918 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) I have this guy friend, we only know each other for a few months, but we have a lot in common and always have fun hanging out. last week I met and hung out with some of his close friends for the first time, he told me afterwards his friends really liked me, and next thing i know i was on a road trip with them. At night we had to share a bed, this was when things got weird. one of his friend suddenly said that he nearly mistook me for that guys ex, he agreed but refused to show me a picture when i asked for it. I m a pretty clueless girl so I just brushed it off. they kept on talking and I just dozed off next to him on the bed. In the middle of the night, I felt an arm pulled me back and realized he was spooning me...I got up pretending to drink some water and lay back close to the wall away from him, but not long after he pulled me over and spooned me again. I wasn t sure if he was asleep or not because I remember him patting my back when I was coughing and putting cover over me when I kicked it off. He didn t mention anything the next morning. I've never spooned with a guy before this is so confusing. Do friends spoon together? he flirts with me and touches me sometimes and we text quite often. He told me he was always surprised to find out how much we have in common, and he once told me the last time he was truly happy was when we were pulling an allnighter at our school (which I can barely remember) but I don't think i'm his type (besides the ex girlfriend comment) My personality is too tomboy and i don't think guys are attracted to this. I have slept in the same bed with many male friends before and absolutely nothing happened. can someone tell me what's happening here? Edited July 7, 2015 by ppy6918
Author ppy6918 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 He's making moves on you. It's pretty obvious. Hi, thanks for replying making a move as in romantically or sexually? Honestly I am super dense when it comes to guys/romance, I don't pick up on anything unless the person straight out confesses his feelings for me and I've never had any serious relationship in the past (im 23) and when I said flirting i'm not even sure if those were flirts, he teases me and there were some sexual innuendo, i don't know if he acts like this only around me or everyone else since normally it's only the two of us hanging out and he doesn't say much when we are with my friends.
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 If you do not want to have sex with a man, do not share a bed with him. You are being a tease He had you spooned in bed because he wants to date you. If you look like his EX he may have a type but make sure you are not a substitute. Platonic friends do not spoon.
Empyrea Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Yeah it sounds like he's interested in you, there is no such thing as platonic spooning You can just wait and see if he makes a proper move (like asks you out!) or if he just expects you two to hook up when drunk or something (I would advise against that perhaps). But you did nothing wrong, it's silly to say you can't share a bed with a friend without being a tease - what if they were low on bedspaces! Should she have slept on the floor?
jen1447 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 The only people women spoon with in general are lovers and cuddle bitches. Is he your cuddle bitch? 4
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 making a move as in romantically or sexually? . Based solely on the cuddling definitely sexually. I'd need more context to determine if it was more than physical alone. I tend to think he may like you or otherwise he would not have asked you on a trip with his friends
Author ppy6918 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 The only people women spoon with in general are lovers and cuddle bitches. Is he your cuddle bitch? I had to google that term,,, I've never cuddled with guys except for a few gayfriends. I mean cuddling feels nice but i'd rather do it with someone i'm in a relationship with.
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 If you want a relationship with him, stay out of his bed until he at least takes you on a date.
Author ppy6918 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 The only people women spoon with in general are lovers and cuddle bitches. Is he your cuddle bitch? If you want a relationship with him, stay out of his bed until he at least takes you on a date. thank you. I guess I sort of have feelings for him, but I'll wait and see, because I still don't really know him. The last thing I want is to be someone's bootycall.
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 College kids board together and sleep together all the time and get a little too close - including spooning. It's normal for them. With that said, I fully understand your discomfort - but you put yourself in that situation, so you have no right to complain. If you don't want it to happen, don't put yourself in that situation. 1
loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 College kids board together and sleep together all the time and get a little too close - including spooning. It's normal for them. With that said, I fully understand your discomfort - but you put yourself in that situation, so you have no right to complain. If you don't want it to happen, don't put yourself in that situation. You're just blaming the victim. She was brutally cuddled that night. 2
MissBee Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I think you should stop saying you're clueless and instead figure out how to get a clue. I don't mean this rudely btw, I mean that it doesn't really help you to say "I'm so naive and clueless...la la la" If that's how you feel, you should change that and work to become more aware, as that will be more useful than being clueless. The fact that you're asking means you're not TOTALLY clueless. You realize it's a little more than platonic. Maybe some friends spoon. I personally have never slept in bed with a guy friend. Girl friends yes, guy friends, I have not. But even if we did, we'd likely not spoon. It seems clear that this guy likes you and it's not platonic. If you don't like him romantically, then set some boundaries and personal space with him. 2
No Limit Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Um no. At least I've never spooned with a friend. Although during a 12 hour bus ride to our school trip's destination I did wake up once only to have a (female) friend who is fairly bigger than me using me as a cushion.
S_A Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 The only people women spoon with in general are lovers and cuddle bitches. Is he your cuddle bitch? Haha I love it when you bring up cuddle bitches! Btw, some guys pay for cuddling the way some guys pay for sex. There was this girl on TV that seemed to make decent cash on the side by charging guys for cuddles. I think she charged by the hour. 1
jen1447 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Haha I love it when you bring up cuddle bitches! Btw, some guys pay for cuddling the way some guys pay for sex. There was this girl on TV that seemed to make decent cash on the side by charging guys for cuddles. I think she charged by the hour. That'd actually be a brilliant business model. Not illegal as there's nothing sexual about it, and yet there are no doubt droves of ppl out there (men and women alike) starved for physical contact.
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 It may not be illegal, but I still get the sense you'd be whoring yourself out, lol
xcupid Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 thank you. I guess I sort of have feelings for him, but I'll wait and see, because I still don't really know him. The last thing I want is to be someone's bootycall. That's the best approach. Get to know him and see what he's all about. He should be romancing you and wooing you and taking you on dates if he's interested in you as a person, not a booty call. Don't share a bed with a guy - that way there are no misunderstandings. Otherwise you will be his bootycall and you'll feel used.
preraph Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 There was one guy who used to sleep in my bed (I was in love with him) and spoon and cuddle, but not sex. Years later, I found out he had some sexual dysfunction and insecurities. You can't assume anything. I actually had a boyfriend when I was younger who did the same thing but was holding off for whatever reason. We lived together 2-3 months but didn't know each other well so I think that's why. But we never did have sex. The time just never felt natural or something. You can't make assumptions. But I would just say stop letting him sleep with you until and unless he's taking you out on dates and showing you that he's interested in something a bit more substantial than a slumber party.
SammySammy Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I've been on road trips with male friends, fraternity brothers and such. Many times we slept four to a room. Double beds. Two guys to each bed. We'd sleep head-to-toe. Some would even put pillows between them to make sure they didn't touch each other in their sleep. Very good friends. Very close. Fraternity brothers. Never spooned.
PogoStick Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 That'd actually be a brilliant business model. Not illegal as there's nothing sexual about it, and yet there are no doubt droves of ppl out there (men and women alike) starved for physical contact. Jen, cuddling for cash is actually a in Japan, especially with the sad state of love and dating there. To the OP. Friends do whatever they mutually agree to do. The question is, "Do YOU cuddle with friends"?
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