fred123 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 as a guy you need to tell him directly to stop. also i believe the only reason you don't like this guy is cos you ar enot attracted to him. if you were and the other guy was doing this you would not for one moment think its weird or clingy etc. only when a women doesn't find you attractive it is creepy. this post confirms this! 2
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 He keeps texting me even as I write this and he keeps sending me photos of things that remind him of me or things he finds amusing! Even though I'm not replying he is still texting me constantly! So annoyed Not responding is not the same as affirmatively telling him to stop. Until you make your position clear he will sit there & continue what he's doing because he knows you secretly like the attention.
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 He keeps texting me even as I write this and he keeps sending me photos of things that remind him of me or things he finds amusing! Even though I'm not replying he is still texting me constantly! So annoyed Full stop! Tell him to stop contacting you....you are NOT interested. Period! Then wish him well and block him! You know, I don't mean to offend you, but men like him specifically target and hone in on women like you. A stronger woman would NEVER tolerate his BS and HE knows it! So he stays clear of strong women and hones in on women like you...who he believes he can control and manipulate. THIS is what he is thinking. Be strong and direct and tell him you are not interested and to please stop contacting you, and if he does not respect that....then just block him. And don't feel guilty about it! 2
Author Boooberry123 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) as a guy you need to tell him directly to stop. also i believe the only reason you don't like this guy is cos you ar enot attracted to him. if you were and the other guy was doing this you would not for one moment think its weird or clingy etc. only when a women doesn't find you attractive it is creepy. this post confirms this! Even if I were attracted to him, it would get pretty tiresome to receive texts every minute of the day and would be a turn off after a while because it seems to show some obsessive behaviour. He texts me at 8am,when I'm trying to work, after his work and at lunch and dinner and even texts me at 2am in the morning when I'm asleep!! Edited July 7, 2015 by Boooberry123
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Even if I were attracted to him, it would get pretty tiresome to receive texts every minute of the day and would be a turn off after a while because it seems to show some obsessive behaviour. He texts me at 8am,when I'm trying to work, after his work and at lunch and dinner and even texts me at 2am in the morning when I'm asleep!! His behavior is disrespectful. And yes obsessive. Tell him one last time clearly. And then I would have no problem blocking him. Problem solved. I don't agree with his behavior but unless you handle it differently, you are part of the problem. Make this his problem alone.
Author Boooberry123 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 Oh yeah and I forgot to mention how he asks me what my idea of a perfect wedding would be. This was knowing the guy barely a few days. He also told me about the dream he had of me where he proposed in front of a large crowd. And he asked me what I was looking for in an ideal partner.
kendahke Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) He keeps texting me even as I write this and he keeps sending me photos of things that remind him of me or things he finds amusing! Even though I'm not replying he is still texting me constantly! So annoyed You dont' have a block feature on your phone? Privacy Star is an app you can download that will stop texts and phone calls. If you were really serious about wanting this to stop, this would be what you employed after you told him that you are not interested in a relationship with him and to stop contacting you. He doesn't need to know the why's of your decision. It's enough for him to know that there's nothing with you and he needs to take his desperation show elsewhere. What he is doing is not normal behavior and as such is not a measuring stick you should be using on your boyfriend. Dude is manipulative and obsessive and if not checked and soon, may become dangerous. Put some steel in your spine already. I don't get the sense from your postings here that you are serious about wanting to be rid of him because blocking him is too easy a thing to do and it should have been done a long, long time ago. Edited July 7, 2015 by kendahke 1
Author Boooberry123 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 I'll tell him politely tomorrow. I can't block him because he is a highly regarded member of our friendship circle. He really is friends with everyone I'm a friend with. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I can't believe you don't find what he's doing creepy. Because you don't & because you keep talking about how well regarded he is, I think you do like the attention. Deep down part of you thinks that if he is chasing you then your social status will go up. 2
kendahke Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I'll tell him politely tomorrow. I can't block him because he is a highly regarded member of our friendship circle. That excuse is weak sauce. He really is friends with everyone I'm a friend with. And? Does he pester everyone else in your circle of friends the way he pesters you? He can be friends with whomever he wishes, that doesn't mean that his behavior doesn't warrant blocking on your phone... and if anyone gets in your face about it, which they won't, you can show them the pages upon pages of texts and ask them what would they do in your shoes. UNLESS... you enjoy the attention. 1
Author Boooberry123 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) That excuse is weak sauce. And? Does he pester everyone else in your circle of friends the way he pesters you? He can be friends with whomever he wishes, that doesn't mean that his behavior doesn't warrant blocking on your phone... and if anyone gets in your face about it, which they won't, you can show them the pages upon pages of texts and ask them what would they do in your shoes. UNLESS... you enjoy the attention. No I don't like the attention but I just want his friendship when I see him once a week with our other friends. I don't reply to his texts. I'm contemplating telling the guy I'm seeing that this guy keeps texting me. Should I? He has done it to a few other girls before. And I do find it a bit creepy and I tell my sister and my other friends who don't know him how it's a bit creepy. And I don't want the awkwardness of seeing him every week after I blocked him. I do block him on and off during the day because I don't want his messages to disturb me. But I will unblock him later because I am worried what will happen if he knows I've blocked him. Edited July 7, 2015 by Boooberry123
kendahke Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 No I don't like the attention but I just want his friendship when I see him once a week with our other friends. I don't reply to his texts. You are leading him on to the wrong conclusion. He doesn't want friendship with you--he wants you to be his woman. He wants to own you, possess you, not chat and be chums who see each other once in a while socially. I'm contemplating telling the guy I'm seeing that this guy keeps texting me. Should I? I'm not sure why he doesn't know about this already. But what do you expect for him to do? Beat the dude up? He's still going to keep on contacting you until you nail that door shut... which means block him. If you don't want to do it, then you're going to have to figure out how to deal with daily avalanches of texts. He has done it to a few other girls before. and I'll bet none of them wanted to play hard ball with him because they thought no one would like them if they did. He's quite manipulative if he's been able to pull this crap over on other girls. And I do find it a bit creepy and I tell my sister and my other friends who don't know him how it's a bit creepy. Telling everybody else but him doesn't do anything about getting him to stop. And I don't want the awkwardness of seeing him every week after I blocked him. Then you're not serious about doing what needs to be done to nip this behavior in the bud. Any friends who would think that what you're doing is unreasonable are friends you need to cut out of your life. Eff what they think and eff him if he's sitting there butt hurt after you've told him that you don't want him as your boyfriend. I have blocked guys before it's not like I've never done it. so that means that his behavior hasn't reached the level of you doing what needs to be done for you to have peace of mind. Do you honestly think that ignoring his texts are going to translate to him your disinterest? That's like that cartoon of the skunk, Pepe Le Pew chasing the cat and never taking her obvious disgust for and avoidance of him seriously. He's willfully not taking your hint. Part of that reason is because you're not making it clear to him that his interest is unwanted and will not be returned. That is the pitfall of trying to be "the nice girl"--your wishes are secondary to his wants.
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Sounds like you picked up a stalker. You need to block this guy pronto - I don't care if he's in your friends circle. 1
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Sounds like you picked up a stalker. You need to block this guy pronto - I don't care if he's in your friends circle. Gary she won't because despite her assertions to the contrary, she loves the attention --- give her a real ego boost.... THAT has become quite obvious at this point in the discussion. OP, you can deny it until hell freezes over....your actions (or lack thereof) indicate otherwise. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I'll tell him politely tomorrow. I can't block him because he is a highly regarded member of our friendship circle. He really is friends with everyone I'm a friend with. Think of yourself as an equal in this group. AND this is the biggest one, he would not be regarded as highly at ALL if people knew the full extent of what he is doing. How you handled as well also reflects on you. If you are not firm, they will see you as contributing to the problem rather than whole thing on him. And that he's a little off, which he is! People have secret behavior and act different when it comes to romantic or obsessive emotions. They don't know this side of him guaranteed or he would not be regarded highly. F*ck that anyway! Why be friends with people who would want you to have to deal with this. They should want it to come to an end amicably, as you have given him that option. Give him one last chance with a clear message from your side and that's it. I think you should block him in meantime so he stays in line. It won't be an issue if he honors your request BECAUSE HE WON'T BE CALLING OR TEXTING. And if he gets a blocked message, I think he will stay quiet about it realizing he has taken things too far.
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I'm contemplating telling the guy I'm seeing that this guy keeps texting me. Should I? He has done it to a few other girls before. And I do find it a bit creepy and I tell my sister and my other friends who don't know him how it's a bit creepy. And I don't want the awkwardness of seeing him every week after I blocked him. I do block him on and off during the day because I don't want his messages to disturb me. But I will unblock him later because I am worried what will happen if he knows I've blocked him. You are a grown woman. Solve your own problems. Don't get your BF to do it for you. This is not a fairy tale & you are not some damsel in distress. If you are genuinely worried what will happen if you block this guy I promise you it will be 1000x worse if you sick your BF on him. If this guy has done this to other women, people in your circle also have to know & nothing will happen to you if you tell him to buzz off. Please grow a spine. 2
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) You are a grown woman. Solve your own problems. Don't get your BF to do it for you. This is not a fairy tale & you are not some damsel in distress. If you are genuinely worried what will happen if you block this guy I promise you it will be 1000x worse if you sick your BF on him. If this guy has done this to other women, people in your circle also have to know & nothing will happen to you if you tell him to buzz off. Please grow a spine. Or at the very least....just grow up and learn to deal with shyt. And own YOUR part in this.... YOU are allowing this to continue....THAT is on YOU, so either deal with it (by being straight with him/blocking him) or stop whining about it. Edited July 7, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 You are underestimating your power in this situation. I don't want to harass you about liking the attention but i'm not quite sure you don't with wanting to tell your new bf. Trust me the weirdo will act awkward for a 5 minutes and then keep his distance. You need to reevaluate your friendships if you can't navigate this. You can. (i have before as have some of my friends). Guys that overstep like this turn really meek when they realize you will stand up for yourself. You've given him no indication that you will, that's why he keeps doing this.
wizer Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 This sounds like the beginning of a great movie. Although you wouldn't like the ending.
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 This sounds like the beginning of a great movie. Although you wouldn't like the ending. A slasher movie? Yikes. Or maybe more like a "Sleeping with the Enemy" type movie. lol
DaisyBug Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 This sounds like the beginning of a great movie. Although you wouldn't like the ending. Bingo! Thankfully, I think she's seeing the light, or at least is no longer wondering if he's "perfect boyfriend material." I guarantee that, if he were successful in trapping his obsessions, would be the type to say, "If I can't have you, no one will..."
fitnessfan365 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 No I don't like the attention he gives me, its annoying that he sends these lengthy texts all the time. However I am still polite to him because he is still my friend. I'm trying not to string him along. I've turned down his dates, asked him to take his mum to the cinema instead (to which he said that's a great idea!!). I told him im seeing someone but he won't back down. One of our mutual friends says he doesn't give up easily. I was hoping he will get the hint and back down with his dignity intact and our friendship intact. I still have to see him at least once a week at our society. How can you say that you don't like the attention when you're complaining that your BF is not as devoted to you as Mr. Clingy? Secondly, Mr. Clingy doesn't want to just be your "friend". He's just sticking around hoping to change your mind. That's why you need to cut the guy loose. It's actually a bit selfish of you to keep the guy around knowing that he wants more when you don't IMO. Once a guy makes his intentions known repeatedly and you have no desire to be with him, you should just stop talking to him. Being "friends" is really just a way of avoiding rejecting him directly. As you say, you hope that he'll get the "hint". 1
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 A slasher movie? Yikes. Or maybe more like a "Sleeping with the Enemy" type movie. lol or what's the movie with glenn close and michael douglas? just in reverse. I think the british have a term for this type of person, even if they don't mean it for men, it refers back to that movie: BUNNY BOILER!
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 or what's the movie with glenn close and michael douglas? just in reverse. I think the british have a term for this type of person, even if they don't mean it for men, it refers back to that movie: BUNNY BOILER! Fatal Attraction! Awesome movie! And then there is Jagged Edge....and Sleeping with the Enemy....among others. 1
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Gary she won't because despite her assertions to the contrary, she loves the attention --- give her a real ego boost.... THAT has become quite obvious at this point in the discussion. OP, you can deny it until hell freezes over....your actions (or lack thereof) indicate otherwise. - yes, I see... some phrases come to mind... - It's all fun and games 'till somebody looses an eye! - Axe murderers all have to start someplace! - Curiosity killed the cat! - Sometimes victims are really volunteers.
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