She is on my mind constantly

[Investment]

I wonder sometimes if it is even worth it to keep implementing self imposed rules about keeping a distance from my crush. She has never left my mind for even 1 minute these last 11 months. It really bothers me that for 11 months I think about her outside of work whereas for the 12 years I've worked with her that wasn't the case.

 

I have implemented so many self imposed rules about keeping as much distance as possible and limited contact. In other words no non-essential contact and no non-essential interaction. Even with some work related stuff if I have a question and she is not the only option to turn to for questions I ask somebody else.

 

But does it really matter anymore? Whether I talk to her or don't talk to her on any given day I'm still going to be thinking about her outside of work. So I don't know if it is worth the effort anymore to purposely keep as much distance as I can. It doesn't change the way I feel about her. Maybe I should just learn to be grateful for whatever attention she does give me because at least she is not uncomfortable working with me.

 

If she felt uncomfortable then I think after a year I would have heard a complaint from someone. If anything my relationships with my work colleagues and supervisors have improved in the past year. My pay rate has gone up. I have made some new friends through work that are kind of mutual friends of my crush.

 

Whether I see her face or don't see her face it won't change the way I think and feel. Whether I take up a new hobby or not she is there in the forefront of my mind. I can't even watch my favorite movies anymore without her coming to my mind again. I have purposely avoided any kind of movies about romance and dating or sex and instead watched either science fiction or Arnold Schwarzenegger's action violent movies. Sometimes I have to go back and rewind the DVD a few minutes because my mind was distracted.

 

Things could be worse though. If it is this much torment to work with someone that I develop a crush on then imagine how much harder it would be if we dated for awhile and broke up and then had to deal with each other at work like nothing ever happened intimately. If this crush was just some random woman I met a few weeks ago I probably would have gotten over it by now. But when it is someone I have known for a long time like a best friend or a close work colleague and friend and someone that I mutually share a verdict of being a number 1 work partner in each other's eyes then it is much different.

 

So I can talk to her or not talk to her and it won't matter really.

[d0nnivain]

If she's just a crush & you have never taken any steps to get to know her better or date her, why don't you?

 

 

These self imposed rules you have set up are only serving to make you crazy. Change your own behavior & you will be happier. Even if she says No Thank you, you will have closure because you tried & it didn't work. That is sooooo much healthier then this pining you are doing now. Who knows? She might say yes, she would love to go on a date with you.

 

 

Take some action. Fortune favors the bold.