mr9396 Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 19 years of age, first ever relationship, lasting 8 ish months. We started seeing each other about a year ago, and i told her how I felt about her in mid August, to which she replied that she didn't know how she felt. She has always been quite indecisive, however after about a month of seeing more of each other and really enjoying each others company, I asked her out in late september and she said yes. She said she loved me by mid december. Dating her was the best time of my life, and I really cared about her, as she di me. She had lost her grandfather in january, which started a phase of depression and anxiety, and march she said 'we need to talk', and broke up with me, however two weeks later she said she wanted to get back together. We treated it like a break and thought nothing of it. However, we had our final year of sixth form exams, so we gave each other space to revise, however this, coupled with her depression, of which she was now on medication for, meant that we grew apart, and she broke up with me in mid june. As I had exams to distract me, I thought little of it. However when my last one was finished, about 3 weeks ago, it only then dawned on me what I had lost, and ever since I have been constantly thinking of her, and it got to a point where she insisted that we go cold turkey with no contact. Still, I think about her as soon as I wake up and every second of the day almost. This morning i saw a facebook post of her looking so happy, as if she has gotten over me already. By this time it has been 1.5 weeks since we last had contact. I miss her so much, and not having any school and very small work hours meant I really am struggling to take my mind off her, to a point where I have cried over her and been very depressed. We were in love, and I stood by her side during the depression, during which she thanked me and said it would be much worse without me, however now she is feeling better i get the impression she doesn't want me around. Does anyone have any tips about how i can stop thinking about her all the time, and how to get rid of my feelings. I am going to university in september and she isnt, so I know it is for the best, but I am finding it hard to get over her, the worst thing being that 99% of my day is devoted to thinking about my ex. I really just want to get over her, please help! Thanks for reading.
RileyPayne Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Don't worry, my friend. There are plenty others going through the exact same situation as you are. I'm 18 myself, and I've just come out of a 2 1/2 year relationship with my 1st love. The break-up was overall quite brutal on me, I spent the first 2 weeks crying loads, depressed and sad at life. But at some point, you pluck up the courage to really stand up and say no to it all. My top advice would be to maintain NC, block her on everything (including social media + don't check in on her, her life shouldn't matter to you anymore, it will take a while to understand this + I still do get urges) but leave her number unblocked if you can, so that if she wants to get back in contact with you, you know it is her and you know she can get into contact with you. I know all too well that social media is a volatile, hurtful can of worms. But I'll say that the pain does numb, and although I still think about my ex-girlfriend every day, it becomes less each day and the thoughts become less romanticised. Think of it that you're quite lucky in this aspect, you're going off to University in 2 months time. Your world is going to be opened to thousands of new people, in a new town/city with unbelievable opportunities for the next 3+ years. I am going through the same and I believe it will be far easier to cope when I'm away from the town I live in because I won't have the memories to succumb to, I'll be out living a life and hopefully enjoying myself, as I hope you will as well. I recommend you think of all the things you possibly stopped doing/put less effort into/forgot about during your relationship and try and get up and do them again. I became very lazy in my relationship and now I'm starting to see things clearer, although, I still do miss her a lot, I'm finding myself becoming ever more happier. The only way is up from here, pal. Good luck and I hope my advice helps, I've never really been too great at it. 2
Author mr9396 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 Thanks, your advice has made me feel better
RileyPayne Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 Don't worry about it, if you need anymore help, shoot me over a PM. It helps to know that there are others going through similar situations.
Author mr9396 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Posted July 7, 2015 Have you any tips on how to stop thinking about her? I find not looking at her facebook or calling her quite easy to be honest, I just cannot get her out of my mind. Is it something that gets easier with time? Thanks
RileyPayne Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 It is honestly time. It's been a month since mine began in earnest and I still wake up thinking about her, but the thoughts become less and they begin to hurt you less. You have to accept it and give yourself time to grieve because it is alike to losing someone, you need to go through the grieving process and tell yourself that it is okay to go through that process. You're going to feel a wide range of emotions you've probably never felt before and it is going to be difficult, but speak to friends, family and try and enjoy yourself. Then apparently, one day, you'll wake up and you won't think about them. I'm not yet at that stage but I'm further into moving on than you are, so I understand how difficult it is.
casey.lives Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 funny enough but the harder they are... the easier they are.
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