Ryan0627 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 I am gay in my early 20's and have been dating this guy and we hit it off extremely well despite what it took for us to start dating. In a nutshell, he got out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship within the last 6 months. Before we went on our first date he kept flaking and he did that 3 or 4 times before we went on the first date and thats when he told me about his last relationship. He has built up walls because of his last relationship and it makes me angry at the guy who abused him and took advantage of him and it also breaks my heart not only because our relationship isn't working out too well but also because I've been emotionally abused and I know what it feels like and those scars run deep and I still have some walls up with some ppl because of it. On June 22nd I was supposed to pick him up and take him to my house and I was going to cook him dinner and we were going to watch a movie and he was possibly going to stay the night but he started flaking again. I went to his house and he was a no show. I waited for 15 mins and he never showed up. We tried going on a date 2 more times that week and he flaked on both of them again. I know he still has feelings for me because on June 24th I asked him if we are still on the same page and if he still wants a relationship with me and he said yes. I know in my gut that whats going on with him is that our relationship was going so well that it scared him because he thought it was too good to be true so he figured he would back out before he got hurt. I texted him on June 26th and asked him what was going on and told him that he can be honest with me and I wouldn't get mad at him or anything but he never responded to that text. I tried texting him 2 more times and he hasn't text me back at all. It's been 6 days since the last time I texted him and I still haven't heard from him to this day. It pains me sooooo much because I know in my gut he still has deep feelings for me just like I do for him but his insecurities keep getting the best of him and I just don't know what to do. He probably feels like he ruined his chances with me because of his insecurities, which he didn't ruin his chances with me and I refuse to give up on him because he is such a sweet guy when I am able to hang out with him. I have never clicked with someone like I clicked with this guy and he told me he feels the same way about me so I refuse to give up on him even though it hurts soooo bad. The reason I keep trying with him is because we both mutually clicked really well. He told me that he has never connected with anyone like he has with me and I feel the same way. When we went on our first date, we connected so well that I felt like I had known him for years and I know he felt the same way because he told me so. When you connect with someone like me and him connected, you will put up a fight to keep that going and thats what I'm doing right now. I also feel like I put too much pressure on him and we went too fast when we started dating and that's why he started flaking on the dates and he probably feels like a failure or something. I dont see it that way because I know what he's going through and the pain he's feeling because I have gone through it too. What should I do to try to get him to text me back? I just want to hear from him again. If he needs to work on himself before he dates again I'm willing to wait for him. I just want to talk to him is all. What should I do? I refuse to give up on him.
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 You have to give up on him. Sorry. He's too broken right now & unless you want to treat him as your professional patient which you can't do because you are not a therapist & it would be a conflict because you want to date him you have to leave him be. Find somebody in a healthier place. 1
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