Jump to content

The Red Flags They Use To Determine If A Woman Is A Loser.

Krieger

By Krieger
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Keenly Established Member

Keenly

Posted
Posted
You've essentially describe most girls on your list. Not an insult to the ladies but a lot of that is typical woman behavior. Woman are suppose to have bad attitudes because you're the man you're her stone. You're suppose to help her keep her feelings at bay

 

Nah, I expect women, or any human being for that matter, to not be a slave to their emotions.

 

 

If you can't control yourself, I can't be around.

Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

Posted
Posted (edited)
having standards and dealbreakers is always great. I think where most people have issues (me included) is in setting healthy barriers and defending them in a constructive manner.

 

oh, and also picking a partner who has a genuine similar interest in you and similar goals to yours as far as your RS is concerned is key - if either one is compromising because of sex, looks, money, success, then that RS is a gonner.

 

 

This repeats a theme that I have noted at LS time and time again.

 

You forgot to mention, love. :rolleyes:

People have tried to reduce romance to check list.

 

I noticed one commercial where two women are being shown potential dating prospects - "And he's a soccer nut". Ooooh, soccer! That's a great basis for a marriage.

 

I met the most amazing woman I have ever known while she was working as an escort. And I would have married her in a heartbeat. I would take her over any cheesy list any day of the week.

 

I did the logical marriage thing once and it was a nightmare. Now that I know true love I know how little all of those lists mean. When you fall hopelessly in love, nothing else matters.

Edited by Robert Z
  • Author
Krieger Established Member

Krieger

Posted
  • Author
Posted
This repeats a theme that I have noted at LS time and time again.

 

You forgot to mention, love. :rolleyes:

People have tried to reduce romance to check list.

 

I noticed one commercial where two women are being shown potential dating prospects - "And he's a soccer nut". Ooooh, soccer! That's a great basis for a marriage.

 

I met the most amazing woman I have ever known while she was working as an escort. And I would have married her in a heartbeat. I would take her over any cheesy list any day of the week.

 

I did the logical marriage thing once and it was a nightmare. Now that I know true love I know how little all of those lists mean. When you fall hopelessly in love, nothing else matters.

 

 

Well I am going to look at a woman actions to see if she a good person.

 

Lets say I am volunteering at a homeless shelter and I bring her along to help if she verbally abusive to homeless people it a big red flag.

 

Also if she abusive towards my dog it a big red flag and if she kicked my dog for no reason I am kicking out of my house.

 

Like I said if a woman has multiply kids by different men I turn her down in a nice way.

  • Like 1
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
This repeats a theme that I have noted at LS time and time again.

 

You forgot to mention, love. :rolleyes:

People have tried to reduce romance to check list.

 

I noticed one commercial where two women are being shown potential dating prospects - "And he's a soccer nut". Ooooh, soccer! That's a great basis for a marriage.

 

I met the most amazing woman I have ever known while she was working as an escort. And I would have married her in a heartbeat. I would take her over any cheesy list any day of the week.

 

I did the logical marriage thing once and it was a nightmare. Now that I know true love I know how little all of those lists mean. When you fall hopelessly in love, nothing else matters.

 

 

See, Robert... it's a tricky one. I totally understand your point, though.

 

Here's my perspective on it: you cannot change how people are. If fundamentally, you know that there is something that profoundly bothers you or something that asks them to fundamentally change themselves, it cannot work. And I chose to not pursue those RS, because I know I will get my heart broken furthermore.

 

I fell inlove with a bad boy last summer. I mean, for real, one of those head spinning crushes that leaves you craving for air. He was totally hit as well. But he needed time to sort himself out. And in the end, giving up his sex friends and ONS and lifestyle... that was too much for him. I could have pushed it. I could have made him give them up. I could have "fought" for my feelings... but that's not what real love is. Real love is when you want to become a better person for your partner. Real love is scary because it means taking chances and risks and doing stuff that's really scary... But those things must come from within.

 

I don't want to change anyone. I don't want to chase anyone. I don't want to be shared either. The guy came back. And then came back again. And then came back again. He initially wanted to just sleep with me - because I tell you, there were fireworks on the sky of the city, when we were touching eachother. I said no. Then he asked for a date. Got scared again. Came back again. Asked again for a date...

 

He's an alright guy, Robert. I do think one day, he will find the perfect girl for him, fall inlove so hard that he won't have to ask himself questions like "is he ready" or be scared. And he'll just jump for it. That girl is just not me.

 

I like clean starts. I hate sharing. And I really really really want to love and be loved. But I am not giving my heart away that easily. Not because I don't want to. It's just... I'm done hurting. I want my happy ending. I want to fall inlove with a guy who'll be crazy about me right back. It's fundamental.

 

 

 

Rob, you need to learn from what happened to you. Why did it not work out? What is your pattern? What was the real issue? Call her. Talk to her if you need to. You must understand. That RS is gone, you can only learn from what happened. Do your best to learn from it, to not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
Well I am going to look at a woman actions to see if she a good person.

 

Lets say I am volunteering at a homeless shelter and I bring her along to help if she verbally abusive to homeless people it a big red flag.

 

Also if she abusive towards my dog it a big red flag and if she kicked my dog for no reason I am kicking out of my house.

 

Like I said if a woman has multiply kids by different men I turn her down in a nice way.

 

I think Robert's point was that people seem to forget love as a part of the equation. It's all math and checks and analyses of microgestures on the first date.

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
Well I am going to look at a woman actions to see if she a good person.

 

Lets say I am volunteering at a homeless shelter and I bring her along to help if she verbally abusive to homeless people it a big red flag.

 

Also if she abusive towards my dog it a big red flag and if she kicked my dog for no reason I am kicking out of my house.

 

Like I said if a woman has multiply kids by different men I turn her down in a nice way.

 

behavior tells a lot about a person. So does consistency in thoughts, words and actions. It's really hard to chose a good person. Sometimes, I just think it's a pure matter of luck, to bump into a decent person. Single and emotionally available, that is.

SerCay Established Member

SerCay

Posted
Posted

I am like china in that I have a one child policy

 

hahahahaha I laughed really hard at this OP.

  • Like 2
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
I think Robert's point was that people seem to forget love as a part of the equation. It's all math and checks and analyses of microgestures on the first date.

 

I think Robert's point is that it's ok to sacrifice your standards / or dealbreakers for love.

 

If it asks you to behave or put up with behavior that is not in line with your values and standards, than that love is not worth pursuing, in the first place. however strong and beautiful. Not a victim anymore. Never again :).

 

just my 2 cents, anyway...

  • Like 1
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

Rob, you need to learn from what happened to you. Why did it not work out? What is your pattern? What was the real issue? Call her. Talk to her if you need to. You must understand. That RS is gone, you can only learn from what happened. Do your best to learn from it, to not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

 

Her 3 year sugar baby contract with him was up, he fell in love, he wanted more - she didn't. She stuck to the contract.

He is now looking for another young sb in her early twenties.

That is his pattern.

  • Like 4
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

Everybody is entitled to love. Everybody. Including men prefering the company of sugarbabes. The only question is: are you playing to win (and be happy) or are you playing to lose (and be miserable) ? Money and power won't guarantee success to anyone.

 

If Robert says that it was not a contract but love, I chose to believe him. You cannot possibly mistake one for the other. When there is love, you know! You just know !

  • Like 2
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

 

If Robert says that it was not a contract but love, I chose to believe him. You cannot possibly mistake one for the other. When there is love, you know! You just know !

 

I have no doubt Robert loved his sb with all his heart, that is not in doubt.

She may have liked him, but she didn't love him, she didn't want to pursue a relationship past the 3 year contract, despite being asked to do so.

She had her own life to live, and that didn't include a relationship going forward with Robert.

 

If we were to look at red flags, a young girl in her early twenties who engages in sex for money with a man twice her age, is not a great bet, no matter how much love is present from her sugar daddy.

That love, is not I guess often reciprocated when the main basis for the relationship is financial gain, from her end.

  • Like 2
Robert Z Established Member

Robert Z

Posted
Posted (edited)
She may have liked him, but she didn't love him,

 

 

She did admit to loving me but never fell in love... at least not enough. But it is there. Just the other night we went out as friends and I can still see it in her eyes. But a 30 years difference in age is too much to expect from anyone. I could certainly live with it but for her... not so much. :D

 

The point is, I would have taken her on pretty much any terms... even if she wanted to continue to work as an escort [she has long ago retired from that]. I didn't care. I would take her any way I could have her. Nothing in the world mattered more than having her by my side. Nothing! It has been three years and I love her more today than I did the day I fell for her... and fall I did! I've never experienced anything like it.

Edited by Robert Z
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

Robert, I know I am stealing the thread here, but... ever thought that you fell this hard for her because she was sooo perfect and out of reach? I totally believe you when you say you would have had her in any term. But it doesn't work like that. She is not an object to be possessed, do you understand? And there should be some self esteem from your side, it is not healthy to say to a person - or to want a person - totally on their terms. It's almost as if you wanted for her to allow you to adore her, almost as if she were perfect, like a goddess.

 

thing is... she may want to experience love herself. not just be loved - or worshiped, but love!

 

which brings me to my next point: why would you go into such a dynamic? Why seek a person so perfect to love, but not ask for anything in return? Aren't you also worthy of being loved? Don't you also deserve to have someone love you back, with all your flaws, imperfections, age and experience?

 

Me thinks that, in a way, you are expecting rejections. So you seek unavailable women because - other then them being perfect and beautiful - you already know that there's rejection. Nu surprises there. But in acting that way, Robert, you may give yourself the chance of maybe falling inlove with another SB, but not the unique chance of being loved. Of sharing that feeling. And that is... the absolute best feeling ever. Are you not worthy of being loved?

  • Like 3
Rejected Rosebud Established Member

Rejected Rosebud

Posted
Posted

All I know is I need to avoid woman like Jodi Arias at all cost.

Do you actually have women like Jodi Arias in your social circle because if the answer is YES then maybe you are hanging around with the wrong crowd! I admit I'm a girl but I don't know any like Jodi Arias except when I watch Discovery ID! :D
  • Like 1
Brigit_1 Established Member

Brigit_1

Posted
Posted

TBH I was a gold digging, princess, bit*h when I was dating.

 

(Worked for me.)

 

:cool:

Got it Established Member

Got it

Posted
Posted

I think it is far healthier to focus on what someone IS looking for, the positive attributes than the negative.

 

I think standards are great, one needs standards, but it is a balancing act on it being too lenient or too critical. And also making sure that you are bringing the same to the table. You (proverbial you) don't get a pass if you have a high bar for everyone else.

 

For me, a red flag, is someone that cannot be accountable for their emotions and actions. Gender doesn't matter.

 

I think if you look for someone that enhances, challenges, and compliments you, it is an excellent start.

 

I do have a question, how can someone control whether or not you personally WANT to be a better man? That is not something that is external and would be determined by you. How is that a reasonable standard to hold to another person? And what happens if you stop wanting to be a better man while you are with them? Are they dinged for that?

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

Posted
Posted (edited)
Her 3 year sugar baby contract with him was up, he fell in love, he wanted more - she didn't. She stuck to the contract.

He is now looking for another young sb in her early twenties.

That is his pattern.

Not to pick on Robert, but anyone who understands a little something about how meeting emotional needs = love, should also understand that paying someone to meet your emotional needs isn't real love. He fell for her because his emotional needs were being met. That was her job. You could say that the best SBs do make their daddies fall in love. That's one way to show how well HIS needs were met.

 

She wasn't getting her emotional needs met, and that is how people who pay for sex like it or need it. They don't want to be bothered with the other persons emotional needs, for the most part.

 

Because taking the effort to meet someone else's needs is what real love us all about, and ideally have that love reciprocated.

 

OP, this long list of yours does come across as a bit narcissistic. I've always thought of relationships as me offering a wonderful 'buffet', then seeing who wants to partake... And hoping the other person feels the same about his gifts and is self aware enough to know what they really are.

 

What's on YOUR table? What are you hoping to share?

Edited by RedRobin
  • Like 2
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted

I don't know exactly how to tell if a woman is a "loser," but I can say that one of MY red flags is a person who is on the lookout for imperfections he can use to call ANYONE a "loser." That person has a maturity problem. Standards are one thing; name-calling is another.

  • Like 2
Brigit_1 Established Member

Brigit_1

Posted
Posted
I don't know exactly how to tell if a woman is a "loser," but I can say that one of MY red flags is a person who is on the lookout for imperfections he can use to call ANYONE a "loser." That person has a maturity problem. Standards are one thing; name-calling is another.

 

 

(That's why it's good to be a gold digging, princess, bit*h any guy who picks you must have a lot of patience and understanding which are great husband traits. Once you get married you can stop being a gold digging, princess, bit*h.)

  • Like 1
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
(That's why it's good to be a gold digging, princess, bit*h any guy who picks you must have a lot of patience and understanding which are great husband traits. Once you get married you can stop being a gold digging, princess, bit*h.)

 

Eh, I don't have the legs or waistline to pull that off, but I can "next" any guy with a chip on his shoulder.

  • Like 1
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted

Using the pussy pass.

 

THis is a concept I've only heard from men. Women don't think of themselves as a walking vagina. We do think we are sexy and worth being treated well, but not primarily because of what is between our legs.

 

The "pussy pass" concept is clearly a projection of men's attitude onto women. MEN think of us as walking vagina, hence the term. Thanks, guys, for being transparent. Makes it easier to identify the losers.

  • Like 6
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted
(That's why it's good to be a gold digging, princess, bit*h any guy who picks you must have a lot of patience and understanding which are great husband traits. Once you get married you can stop being a gold digging, princess, bit*h.)

 

No one can play a role forever - and be believable. Too much effort. Plus, it backfires anyway, because if he falls inlove with the pretentious moody princess, and after the marriage, she turns into this casual, relaxed chick, he might be bitterly disappointed. Some people love drama, they love the thrills. Why would he not be getting it after marriage? Not what he bargained for...

 

My point is: getting married in not such a huge achievement in itself. Staying married - ideally happily married is :).

  • Like 1
Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
THis is a concept I've only heard from men. Women don't think of themselves as a walking vagina.
I know several women who own this shirt. They bought them for a bachelorette party and several of them still wear them on occasion.

 

A female bartender at one my usual hangouts had this conversation with my girlfriend when she paid our tab:

Bartender: Why are you paying the tab? Isn't Shining One your boyfriend?

Girlfriend: Yes, but he pays for almost everything. I need to chip in once in a while.

Bartender: He should pay. Pussy has a price.

 

Some women choose to embrace this mentality.

autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
I know several women who own this shirt. They bought them for a bachelorette party and several of them still wear them on occasion.

 

A female bartender at one my usual hangouts had this conversation with my girlfriend when she paid our tab:

Bartender: Why are you paying the tab? Isn't Shining One your boyfriend?

Girlfriend: Yes, but he pays for almost everything. I need to chip in once in a while.

Bartender: He should pay. Pussy has a price.

 

Some women choose to embrace this mentality.

 

There's this mythical idea that many people who buy ridiculous t-shirts have in common....

 

It's called a sense of humor.

 

I know a guy who has a t-shirt that says:

 

The drunker I am, the better you look

 

See, people buy t-shirts they find funny and do not necessarily use that as their actual life philosophy.

  • Like 1
Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
See, people buy t-shirts they find funny and do not necessarily use that as their actual life philosophy.
I was responding to a post that claimed that only men advertise the use of the term "pussy pass". I was pointing out that women sometimes advertise that term as well. Whether or not it is a life philosophy is not in the scope of my post about the t-shirts.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...