Cecelius Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale so you think that women are better at handling their sexual impulses and keeping men at arm's length? In most men's experiences, not where its a young lady and there's booze around. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale so lets turn it around MERIN. how many women trust their BF when he has lots of female "friends"? most women can't deal with it. why does it work one way but not the other? so you think that women are better at handling their sexual impulses and keeping men at arm's length? I can only speak for myself Alpha... My BF has Female Friends and I'm okay with that. Do I think Women are better at handling thier sexual impulses.. I can't speak for other Women... I'm sure there are Women out there who would be down for bagging one of thier Male Friends.. just as there are Men out there that would be down for it with thier Female Friends... IMO I NEED to be able to trust my BF and know that he's making good decisions and it wouldn't matter who was looking in order for him to do the right things... I trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
chubachoop Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I have 4 males i would call friends and many other male aquantances. 2 i have never fancied, 1 I was seeing for a few months and the other i once snogged . I have a boyfriend who was my friend for 5 years before we got together. He has female freinds. He is cool about my friends because we TRUST each other. Who cares if you cant trust other men, it takes two you know and if you trust your girl then these friends wont be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale why does it work one way but not the other? so you think that women are better at handling their sexual impulses and keeping men at arm's length? Because that's how it is biologically. And growing up. Women grow up fending off would-be vaginal invaders. Men grow up trying to storm the gates. Women have more practice fending off men. To a man, the concept of trying to keep someone from trying to have sex with you is completely foreign. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Because that's how it is biologically. And growing up. Women grow up fending off would-be vaginal invaders. Men grow up trying to storm the gates. Women have more practice fending off men. To a man, the concept of trying to keep someone from trying to have sex with you is completely foreign. You can't rape the willing! Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 in a word.... Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter vaginal invaders you funny B_0 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Men and women who have known each other since birth can be platonic, or casual acquaintances that talk every now and again can be platonic. But "friends"....the kind that get drinks to talk, go to parties together...or grab a bite to eat together pretty often...that always gets sticky. I USED to tell my bf all the time, oh...I can have male friends...don't worry. But in almost every instance, the guy would be all about it if given the chance. So, were they ever my friend to begin with? Nah...probably not. Waiting for me to break up with bf? More likely. I have been hit on my my own BF's friend before...so, a guy that doesn't even know my bf??? I can't say it doenst EVER happen for anyone. But a truly platonic one...that's probably rare. Even if neither act on it, there is some underlying tension. SP Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Oh yea, and just cause MERIN is hot, doesn't mean she needs to go into porn and people can't take her seriously! Shame on whoever said that.... SP Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter To a man, the concept of trying to keep someone from trying to have sex with you is completely foreign. Well, maybe for hot girls that's the case. It's pretty easy to turn down an ugly one. Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Most of my friends are women (It's almost always been that way) and my wife is cool with it. She trusts me. Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Well, maybe for hot girls that's the case. It's pretty easy to turn down an ugly one. High Five Tan! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by sweetpea01 I can't say it doenst EVER happen for anyone. But a truly platonic one...that's probably rare. Even if neither act on it, there is some underlying tension. yes, this is what I am saying SWEETPEA01. My personal experience has been that 90% of the time when I became freinds with a female I later found out that she wanted to get "busy" with me. Can you imagine that? Let me give u a good example. Back in 1989 I was 24 yrs old and became good friends with my room-mates very attractive cousin, Joanne. Now, I am 5'11" and "Jo" was my same height in bare feet. She was very pretty with a gorgeous body and smart, etc etc etc. But I was never attracted to her cause of her height. So I put her in friends category. We would go out to the bar and to eat and parties just as "friends". So then after 6 months i introduced her to my buddy Brian. They fell in love and got married and then divorced after 3 or 4 yrs. VEry tumultuous relationship and I was caught in the f***ing middle playing psychiatrics and social worker and friend all in one. Phew! So after they got divorced me an Jo went out and she got drunk and told me it was me she was interested in all these years and that Brian was the "consolation prize". WTF? that is why I no longer become friends with women! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter To a man, the concept of trying to keep someone from trying to have sex with you is completely foreign. Speak for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale WTF? that is why I no longer become friends with women! A tall, beautiful woman confesses she wanted you all those years, and because of that *traumatic* experience, you no longer want female friends??? SP Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by sweetpea01 A tall, beautiful woman confesses she wanted you all those years, and because of that *traumatic* experience, you no longer want female friends??? SP no, it was not traumatic, SWEETPEA01. It was just weird cause she just always came off as friends to me and I was not attracted to her cause of her tallness. And after 6 or 7 yrs of knowing her she all of a sudden comes out with that confession. I was like "WTF"!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by slubberdegullion Speak for yourself. I would, if I had a penis. But since I don't I can't. I still stand by my point, though. Maybe I should have said, IME I've had no trouble finding willing partners that I would consider attractive, whereas my male friends often do. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 So I've obtained a perspective from one of my Male Friends.. He's told me that he thinks Most of My Guy Friends do want to have sex with me... BUT That I'm right on saying it's about trusting your SO to NOT go there with her/his friends... (or anyone else for that matter) I wanted to add.. that this Guy Friend of mine also did say that even if a Girl was hot.. he still wouldn't be all about keeping a friendship in which they could talk and discuss problems that were important if the Girl had nothing more than looks going for her... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Merin So I've obtained a perspective from one of my Male Friends.. He's told me that he thinks Most of My Guy Friends do want to have sex with me... how can u be real and true friends with someone you know wants to get into your pants??? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale how can u be real and true friends with someone you know wants to get into your pants??? You get past the physical attraction and "chemistry" and interact with them based on them. It also helps if they are attached to someone else. Just because you want to f*ck someone doesn't mean you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale how can u be real and true friends with someone you know wants to get into your pants??? LOL According to whats being said here it should just be assumed everyone wants to get into My pants so Friendships should be out of the question I can be Friends with a lot of people.. Male or Female. I don't sit and wonder if they want to have sex with me because honestly it wouldn't matter IF they did. Again I have never had one of My Friends straight up tell me they wanted to have sex with me or indicated that they were only friends with me because they want to have sex with me. Bottomline IMO is YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOUR SO. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter You get past the physical attraction and "chemistry" and interact with them based on them. well, B_0, we are assuming here that the physical attraction and chemistry are one-sided here. if you knew some dude who said he was you "friend" was really attracted to you and wanted more then how can you sit here and say you can maintain a friendship with them without making it look like you are leading them on. this is EXACTLY how many men get suckered into wasting their romantic time becuase they think they can start a relationship with a woman by being her "friend" and being there for her. THey follow her around like a little love-sick puppy feeding off any morsels of attention she gives them. That is sad that u condone that behaviour. It also helps if they are attached to someone else. right and sooner or later the person he is attached to may figure out that he is really attracted to you and then we can watch the fireworks. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well, B_0, we are assuming here that the physical attraction and chemistry are one-sided here. if you knew some dude who said he was you "friend" was really attracted to you and wanted more then how can you sit here and say you can maintain a friendship with them without making it look like you are leading them on. Well, you can just talk about it and say, I know you are attracted to me, but I don't think anything would work out between us. I've done that before and had it done to me. One of my friends had a crush on me for a while, then I had a crush on him for a while, but we both acknowledge that we would be bad in a relationship together, after talking about it, and are pursuing other people now. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Well, you can just talk about it and say, I know you are attracted to me, but I don't think anything would work out between us. do you know what I do when I find out a female acquaintance may want more from me than friendship? If I am not interested in her in that way I totally disassociate myself from her. Mainly becasue I don't want to be accused of "leading her on". Some women don't understand that when they foster friendships with men who are romantically interested in them that they are basically helping to keep these dudes from finding a partner. Let them go! It is the best thing u can do for them. If I was interested in some woman romantically and she said to me "let's be friends" I would be gone! Out the door! I'd tell her that I don't do the "friends" thing. Period Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 :shrug: Well, it worked for me. My friend is seeing this super crazy beyotch who, thr first night he met her, told him she is on paxil, she used to cut herself, and she can't orgasm. I'm kinda sorta seeing a scottish guy. And we gossip and compare notes about sex and everything. It's just a different kind of relationship. Not everyone bases everything on sex, ALPHA. Link to post Share on other sites
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