Kate1988 Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 So I really need some advice. I was catching up with a guy for a few weeks and we were in contact every second day through texting (not ideal). Anyways we caught up one night at his and ended up having sex; I was shocked as mutual friends of mine said he would problably take months to make a move. It was a bad decision as it was way too early to go there. Anyways he text me the day after just as a general chat then I didn't hear from him so I text him a few days after & the conversation ended quickly. 4 days past and I tried calling him to let him know I'll be out with some friends for a few drinks if he wants to catch up. Of course he didn't call me back he just text saying he was already going out with friends and I should contact him to see where the night ends up, I replied stating he can call me if he wants to see me. Needless to say I bumped into him whilst out and he didn't even want to acknowledge me or say anything. I was in shock, I hung around with a mutual friend and then headed off to another club he said something to me when we were leaving (not sure what as I couldn't hear and had plenty to drink by that stage) I remember vaguely just looking at him shaking me head in disappointment and that was it. I feel very awkward now as we have mutual friends. Do text him and ask what's going on with him and that I don't want things to be strange between us or do I just ignore him? I know he's a shy guy but obviously not shy enough to come onto me within weeks of knowing one another. I think he was out of line not wanting to at least speak, it was rather embarrassing as well.
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 It sounds like the ole "pump and dump".. Personally, I think you know what's going on and contacting him again will only make you feel worse. He'll either ignore you or be short in his response. You'll feel much better to simply learn from the experience and keep your pride by not contacting him again. Clearly, he's not someone you'd want to date if he treats people like this. Keep your chin up! 4
Author Kate1988 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 Yes u are so right! Just didn't expect that from someone who is ament to be a nice guy. Even my mutual friend was shocked by how he acted and it's pretty childish to just act in a such a way. I shouldn't have even gone there with him but it's just one of those in the moment mistakes and he's prob very good at this with plenty off other women. I'm also embarrassed because I don't want out mutual friends to think I'd just jump into bed with anyone but I can't control what people think. I just hope the way he has acted towards me reflects on him as a ****ty person and not me if u know what I mean. I wonder if he feels like an absolute jerk!!
Popsicle Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Tell him how you feel then never speak to him again. Otherwise he will think this is perfectly okay.
Gloria25 Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Yes u are so right! Just didn't expect that from someone who is ament to be a nice guy. Even my mutual friend was shocked by how he acted and it's pretty childish to just act in a such a way. I shouldn't have even gone there with him but it's just one of those in the moment mistakes and he's prob very good at this with plenty off other women. I'm also embarrassed because I don't want out mutual friends to think I'd just jump into bed with anyone but I can't control what people think. I just hope the way he has acted towards me reflects on him as a ****ty person and not me if u know what I mean. I wonder if he feels like an absolute jerk!! Well, if he's not a player, he probably doesn't know how to handle this. I mean, don't take this the wrong way - but maybe he didn't mean for the sex to happen, but hello - put two people together and thing happen - and now he doesn't wanna lead you on and have you thinking he wanted the sex and/or some type of RL with you. I feel ya, some people just prefer the fade instead of talking it out....Like OLD, you'll message someone and simply not get a response and you're scratching your head wondering why. Some people respond and say what they liked/didn't like, some are just silent.
Tayla Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Yes u are so right! Just didn't expect that from someone who is ament to be a nice guy. Even my mutual friend was shocked by how he acted and it's pretty childish to just act in a such a way. I shouldn't have even gone there with him but it's just one of those in the moment mistakes and he's prob very good at this with plenty off other women. I'm also embarrassed because I don't want out mutual friends to think I'd just jump into bed with anyone but I can't control what people think. I just hope the way he has acted towards me reflects on him as a ****ty person and not me if u know what I mean. I wonder if he feels like an absolute jerk!! You are both adults and the aftermath of this is really about saving some pride. You both took different paths afterwards. Neither of you are anything less then human. Be fair to both sides here , It was a mutual event. yes he could have been more of a gent and for that he should be placed in the live and learn from category. Own your side and leave his poor manners for him to work on.
Author Kate1988 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 Yep ur right it's not the end of the world it's just disappointing and frustrating when people can't be up front. Maybe he didn't intend for it to happen but there's still no need to be rude that's just me anyway and he came onto me so it's not like I insisted on it.Regardless if he had anything about him then he should have contacted me to apologise. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise to find out sooner than later. I will keep my pride and not contact him again as it's not going to prove anything, I will let it be ....
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 Yep ur right it's not the end of the world it's just disappointing and frustrating when people can't be up front. Maybe he didn't intend for it to happen but there's still no need to be rude that's just me anyway and he came onto me so it's not like I insisted on it.Regardless if he had anything about him then he should have contacted me to apologise. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise to find out sooner than later. I will keep my pride and not contact him again as it's not going to prove anything, I will let it be .... Good job in deciding to not stroke his ego! As far as what others may think of you and your decision to sleep with them? Who cares what they think! Here's how ya play it.. If your asked about it, simply and in a very confident, casual way say "yea, I needed to get laid and he was convenient. It's just too bad he was a bad lay".. Then change the subject.
Author Kate1988 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 Haha aloneinaz I love it! Excellent way to put it I shall do just this if anyone mentions this, thanks for all the advice
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