(Update) 11 days after NC, Almost broke NC

[unevensteven]

It's been 2 weeks since me my EX broke up, which is my Best friends sister (You can see my last post). But it's been 11 days since I took my Ex off all of social media, removed everything that reminded me of her, and started NC.

Before doing all that it was hell, all I did was sleep so I don't think of her, I barely ate and never went out of the house. After starting the NC it has gotten A LOT better than I thought it would. I avoided seeing her, just hanging out with the guys and avoiding her friends, been going to gym every night with the guys, and got myself distracted with some books. I went through all kinds of phases for the last 2 weeks, started off with me just being sad, not believing this actually happened, denying it all. Then it started with me being just angry at her, asking how she could be so heartless and drop it all in one week after saying she loved me so much.

I was going to break NC 2 days ago, I typed the messages on my notes to just copy and paste them into Twitter so I can DM it all to her. I typed it... saying how she much hurt me, how she decided to just "reevaluate" her life in just a span of one week and deciding to break up with me when it was going so perfect, we didn't argue once in 8 months. After typing it all I was going to send it to her, but when I got on her profile I forgot that I actually blocked her on twitter and all my social media accounts. I deleted what I typed, I feel so much better, I feel like I had a huge boulder taken off my chest and now I'm able to move on.

Now I don't think about her as much as I used to, I sometimes feel angry at her but that feeling is fading away, she decided to move on so she doesn't deserve my energy. Yesterday I started looking back, that relationship was amazing, I was treated her so good, I would give her so much, buy her gifts on valentines and her bday, take her out, drive so far just to see her for 15 mins, making sure she woke up to amazing texts every morning.

I realized that she didn't really give me much back, not a fraction of what I did to her or gave her. I know I'm a great guy people tell me that all of the time, I'm very nice and would do anything to see my special lady smile.

 

I will find a better girl that is better than her, that will appreciate what I do for her and be there for me when I need her, that can make me happy too instead of it being a one way street.

I am in a very complicated situation, my best friends is her brother, all our friends and families are friends, it will be hard and it won't be easier when I see her (I haven't seen her ever since), I know I can do it but it will take more time for me to be able to see her, I just want to be as healed and over her as possible, so I can move on with my life.

 

I plan on avoiding her as much as I can before Univ starts where I will be seeing her for sure, there is no doubt about it, but right now I want to take care of myself and be a ghost to her, I am getting better by the day and I don't feel like contacting her at all.

To everyone struggling with NC, Be strong, it will get alot better over time I promise. You're a great person and your ex didn't see that in you, there are millions of people out there, hundreds of thousands that are better than your ex, she/he was not as perfect as you thought they were. Sorry about the long story, I just felt like sharing because I've been struggling so much. Thank you for reading my update/rant, have a great day

[RileyPayne]

I'm currently going through the phases as well. My ex has moved on to someone after lying to me about saying she wasn't speaking to any boys in that manner, how have you come to terms with that? I'm finding it very difficult to let it go.

 

The rest of your post is really enlightening though, thanks for posting it.

[aloneinaz]

OP- Great thread and very on point. If everyone handled break ups this rationally, this site wouldn't exist!!

 

 

I know this site helped me a couple of years ago. I'd never heard of NC before. I employed all these things I learned here, vanished from the exes life, healed and met my now 2 year GF a few months later.

 

 

NC works WONDERS and it helps the person heal. Most of the time, after a month or two, people come to realize the relationship wasn't all that and are glad they are done with it.

 

 

In your case, you're off to a great start. Your young. You have plenty of target rich environments to find someone new when you're ready. I get that it's complicated by the closeness of the family and the probability of running into her down the line. If I was you, I'd keep avoided any place you may run into her until you're healed. Then, you may just run into her a few months from now with your new GF who does appreciate all you bring to the relationship!

[grokcahsevol]

OP,

 

How long were you guys together for?

 

 

I ask, as it seems like you are moving on very well (Awesome job!), so I would assume you weren't together for very long?

[unevensteven]

OP,

 

How long were you guys together for?

 

 

I ask, as it seems like you are moving on very well (Awesome job!), so I would assume you weren't together for very long?

 

We were together for about 8 months

[unevensteven]

OP- Great thread and very on point. If everyone handled break ups this rationally, this site wouldn't exist!!

 

 

I know this site helped me a couple of years ago. I'd never heard of NC before. I employed all these things I learned here, vanished from the exes life, healed and met my now 2 year GF a few months later.

 

 

NC works WONDERS and it helps the person heal. Most of the time, after a month or two, people come to realize the relationship wasn't all that and are glad they are done with it.

 

 

In your case, you're off to a great start. Your young. You have plenty of target rich environments to find someone new when you're ready. I get that it's complicated by the closeness of the family and the probability of running into her down the line. If I was you, I'd keep avoided any place you may run into her until you're healed. Then, you may just run into her a few months from now with your new GF who does appreciate all you bring to the relationship!

 

Oh trust me I had a very hard time when it first started, I never knew what NC was or what to do because it was my very first relationship and it was so serious, I was lost. But then I looked up "Break up forums" and did my research on how to get over someone, LoveShack has been amazing, I learned it all buy reading many threads, specially the NC thread.

I did not do this alone, the posts on this website and other websites helped me so much, I am so great full for everyone on here so I thought I could give back by posting an update.

 

Thank you, I am doing pretty great, surprisingly because like I said we were so in love and inseparable. I did 100% the new Batman game that recently came out to get her off my mind, 5 days straight of just playing it. Yes I do plan on avoiding her, her brother has been telling me to come over to their house and her friends have been wanting to hang out lately, but I decline and make myself busy so I don't see her, I'm just not ready right now.

I will admit hearing someone talk about her gets me feeling weird, or a friends saying she will be there too. Just trying to be as far from her as possible and be with the guys only because they don't really bring her up at all. I still need more time, at least another month or so, I accepted the pain, I told myself I have no future with her and that I need to move on everytime she came to my mind. She still does sometimes but I am not surprised, it's only been 2 weeks so I will give myself some more time.

[unevensteven]

I'm currently going through the phases as well. My ex has moved on to someone after lying to me about saying she wasn't speaking to any boys in that manner, how have you come to terms with that? I'm finding it very difficult to let it go.

 

The rest of your post is really enlightening though, thanks for posting it.

 

I honestly have no kind of advice in that situation, it was my very first relationship, I suggest making a thread on here or looking at other threads to see how they dealt with that kind of situation. Hope it gets better, and good luck

[unevensteven]

I've been doing great so far, still keeping myself busy as always and hanging out with my friends to keep her off my mind, not thinking of ever breaking NC.

Like I mentioned before me and her brother are best friends, ever since me and her broke up I have been avoiding seeing her, but that means not going to my best friends house because she lives there. Her mom called me yesterday, asking why I never come over anymore, thinking me and my best friend (again which is her brother) got into a fight, I just told her no and that I've been very busy lately, his mom loves me like a son.

Anyway she also told me she hopes to see me this saturday, my family is invited to dinner that day, I knew I will be seeing her again. I just need some advice here, how do I prepare to seeing her? I haven't seen her ever since we broke up. I'm also worried about her approaching me that night, what do I do in that situation, because I don't want to break NC.

[cipd11]

It's been 2 weeks since me my EX broke up, which is my Best friends sister (You can see my last post). But it's been 11 days since I took my Ex off all of social media, removed everything that reminded me of her, and started NC.

Before doing all that it was hell, all I did was sleep so I don't think of her, I barely ate and never went out of the house. After starting the NC it has gotten A LOT better than I thought it would. I avoided seeing her, just hanging out with the guys and avoiding her friends, been going to gym every night with the guys, and got myself distracted with some books. I went through all kinds of phases for the last 2 weeks, started off with me just being sad, not believing this actually happened, denying it all. Then it started with me being just angry at her, asking how she could be so heartless and drop it all in one week after saying she loved me so much.

I was going to break NC 2 days ago, I typed the messages on my notes to just copy and paste them into Twitter so I can DM it all to her. I typed it... saying how she much hurt me, how she decided to just "reevaluate" her life in just a span of one week and deciding to break up with me when it was going so perfect, we didn't argue once in 8 months. After typing it all I was going to send it to her, but when I got on her profile I forgot that I actually blocked her on twitter and all my social media accounts. I deleted what I typed, I feel so much better, I feel like I had a huge boulder taken off my chest and now I'm able to move on.

Now I don't think about her as much as I used to, I sometimes feel angry at her but that feeling is fading away, she decided to move on so she doesn't deserve my energy. Yesterday I started looking back, that relationship was amazing, I was treated her so good, I would give her so much, buy her gifts on valentines and her bday, take her out, drive so far just to see her for 15 mins, making sure she woke up to amazing texts every morning.

I realized that she didn't really give me much back, not a fraction of what I did to her or gave her. I know I'm a great guy people tell me that all of the time, I'm very nice and would do anything to see my special lady smile.

 

I will find a better girl that is better than her, that will appreciate what I do for her and be there for me when I need her, that can make me happy too instead of it being a one way street.

I am in a very complicated situation, my best friends is her brother, all our friends and families are friends, it will be hard and it won't be easier when I see her (I haven't seen her ever since), I know I can do it but it will take more time for me to be able to see her, I just want to be as healed and over her as possible, so I can move on with my life.

 

I plan on avoiding her as much as I can before Univ starts where I will be seeing her for sure, there is no doubt about it, but right now I want to take care of myself and be a ghost to her, I am getting better by the day and I don't feel like contacting her at all.

To everyone struggling with NC, Be strong, it will get alot better over time I promise. You're a great person and your ex didn't see that in you, there are millions of people out there, hundreds of thousands that are better than your ex, she/he was not as perfect as you thought they were. Sorry about the long story, I just felt like sharing because I've been struggling so much. Thank you for reading my update/rant, have a great day

 

I'm happy for your that you're doing so well and have such a healthy outlook. Things can only get better for you from here.

 

You seem like a genuine nice guy and I hope you find someone in the future to treat you well