jen1447 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Only solution is to go total NC!!! Oh wait .... Why not just tell her to be calm and you'll see her when you get back? If she fades during that time that's your own fault bc you set this up with an early intermission built in.
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Thanks for all the responses guys, really appreciate it! I guess the title is misleading, the needing reassurance is definitely a red flag but I guess what the main issue is what to do moving forward. She has some very personal health issues that she continues to run away from. She goes on to say how does all her jobs and hobbies as if she lives everyday as if its her last. When I first brought up the subject of what was wrong she got very defensive but finally opened up and I ended up giving her advice. She was very grateful for the advice and since then has become very attached. She always compliments me on my videos, words, pictures but says that I don't compliment her enough so she has to take a step back complimenting me. I compliment her alot, probably more than I should for somebody who I haven't even met... She then goes on to tell me that I should drive over her house and give her a hug etc, it really is way too soon. Two choices -- meet her asap OR drop her (nicely and respectfully). Please do not just fade.....jmo. 1
Author Yummm Posted July 4, 2015 Author Posted July 4, 2015 @Fleur de cactus and kate I think your advice is good. I'll give it a couple days and think about it, but I am more concerned of my own emotional well being here, thats why I'm confused as to whether or not I should meet her before I go away. I am NOT the type to just fade away to drop somebody, so that won't happen. If she did get bored of me during the 3 weeks i'm away and didn't want to meet me, I wouldn't have a problem with that, so I'm not that emotionally invested right now, i'm just interested and don't want to let an opportunity go to waste... @Jen I have done, and after a little sadness from her part it seems like this is going ahead, but the point is everyday she gets deeper and deeper in conversation.
Jimmyy18 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Maebe she is not interested in you or maebe you should speak to her about your feelings.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Having read some more details - Yes, she's displaying some red flags and you're right to be concerned. She's sharing a lot of personal information with a stranger, which generally indicates a lack of a filter or a cry for attention, or both. I have a friend who is quite similar, and she can't understand why a lot of guys run. She gets far too attached too quickly. Moving forward - continue to keep communication on a reasonable level. If it makes me her insecure, that's not your problem. You don't need to respond to that. You've already told her you're happy to meet after your holiday. Don't continue to repeat yourself. If she can't understand this and keeps on pushing, you'd be best to cut this one loose. Politely but firmly. 1
Author Yummm Posted July 4, 2015 Author Posted July 4, 2015 Thanks all, appreciate the responses. I'll take a couple of days to decide, i'll slow down conversation and see what happens.
aloneinaz Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Yumm- I'm proud of ya getting back on the horse! That's awesome. Now, I have to share as a veteran of online dating that she's showing some serious RED flags here. I agree with the others. As you're seeing, there's millions of gals available so don't "settle" with the first one you feel connected to especially if she has bags of issues. When I was OLD, I wanted to meet up on dates, not have days/weeks of communication before hand. It was not unusual to have a date within 24 hours of hitting it off on emails, texts and a phone call. BTW, NEVER meet anyone w/out talking on the phone first. I disqualified many women after one phone call. When you're back from your holiday, have the mindset of connecting with someone and trying to meet for a first date within a couple of days. Why invest so much time emailing and texting w/someone and then meet and realize there's zero connection or attraction in person. 2
Author Yummm Posted July 4, 2015 Author Posted July 4, 2015 Thanks az, i'm also impressed at myself buddy. I'm sure you'll understand where i'm coming from more than others here as you know my background story! I originally started talking without wanting to go on dates because it was simply a distraction from my breakup, knowing that I was travelling shortly, I didn't want to start seeing girls yet, my mind was simply focusing on moving on from my breakup and experiencing a holiday of a lifetime. Suddenly, somebody who I can connect with, so it was unexpected. I completely agree w/phone call before date, we've spoken on the phone and still connect on the same level so that's pretty good. Like I said, i'll take it slow for the next few days and see where that takes me, i'll even try address the issue with her and see if we can have a mature conversation about where she wants this to go. My focus is on me and my holiday right now, hence why im skeptical.
Author Yummm Posted July 6, 2015 Author Posted July 6, 2015 Update: So after a 2 hour phone conversation last night, she brings up my going away scenario again... So what do I do? I say fine, i'd love to meet up with you for a drink before I go away. She tells me 'no Yummm, please don't change from your plan, I completely agree and want to meet you when you get back!' We go back and forth for a while and she is still adamant in me meeting her when we get back from holiday and not agreeing to see me this week, so why did she bring it up to begin with? It makes no sense..
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