Jonp219 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 (edited) I don't know how many of you actually read the book, but it book it says that a man should choose a female that is his "complimentary opposite". I'm trying to make sense of this using my previous relationship as an example. I feel like I'm not totally masculine nor totally feminine. I feel like I'm a proper mix of both sides. I can read people really well, I'm very passionate, and soak in my despair more than the average male does. My ex on the other hand was a very masculine woman. She was very centered, logical, never liked dressing up, and liked for me to do most of the talking. Although sexual chemistry was amazing I feel like this combination was wrong for us. Despite her being centered, trustworthy, and logical I had a harder trusting her than I would a girl who leaned more towards her feminine side. When you think about it it sounds absolutely strange even to me it sounds strange. I always wanted a quiet girl because I felt safer choosing them but now I'm realizing that isn't what I need. In the book it says, "The false neutralization, or depolarization, of relationships is one of the main reasons that couples break up. The rejuvenate charge of sexual loving becomes weak, while the things that irritate you and your partner remain just as strong as ever". This part stands out to me. In a way it seems like we forced ourselves to move from one end of the spectrum to the other in order to keep the balance. Like she forced herself to be more like a girl to accommodate my masculinity or lack thereof. Not to mention, although we did have those little things that irritated us about one another the sexual chemistry was always strong. Which is part of what keeps throwing me off about all of this. All this sounds too confusing to me, I can't really make sense of it all. How is that I would trust someone who I perceive to be less trustworthy rather than someone who actually is? It's weird. Thinking of all of this it reminds me of one of first fights we had early in our relationship (3-4 months after becoming exclusive). I remember getting frustrated because she wasn't affectionate with me at all. After a while she did become a little more affectionate, but never seemed to come naturally to her. I knew she loved me, but affection was something he didn't like displaying a lot (kind of like her mother). BTW I'm not trying to make sense of my break-up. If anything I'm trying to figure out exactly what I want/need in a woman so I won't make the same mistakes in the future. Any thoughts on this?? Edited July 4, 2015 by Jonp219
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