Sariah Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Last year I started hanging out with one of my neighbors. He moved out of the building a few months ago and things kind of fizzled between us... We've hung out maybe 5 times since then, and we hardly text each other. I do see him at least once a week if not more because he shops at my job, but that's different.. I still like him and I'm wondering what I can do to get the spark back? We used to be fun and flirty and now it all feels kind of awkward. I kind of feel like he does still like me because of small things like him coming into my store to buy just a redbull when there is 5 convenience stores between his place and my job... I think part of the problem is he is very shy and he has some confidence issues. Any ideas?
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Ask him out. If he's shy he may not be aware that he has a green light to ask you. He may also think that when you pay attention to him while he's shopping you are just doing this because it's your job.
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Is this the guy from your other thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/498455-does-he-really-want-me-come-over If so, shyness isn't the issue. You weren't dating, just having late night hookups because he was right down the hall from you. I guess you could invite him over to yours or invite yourself over his if you want to continue. But these things tend not to last as you're discovering. You may have to start afresh with someone new.
Author Sariah Posted July 10, 2015 Author Posted July 10, 2015 Is this the guy from your other thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/498455-does-he-really-want-me-come-over If so, shyness isn't the issue. You weren't dating, just having late night hookups because he was right down the hall from you. I guess you could invite him over to yours or invite yourself over his if you want to continue. But these things tend not to last as you're discovering. You may have to start afresh with someone new. Thanks so much for replying. Yea it is the same guy. After he moved out things changed a little bit. We had a talk about our, for lack of a better word, relationship and we both said we weren't going to be seeing anyone else and that we would still be hanging out which we did for a while but then things got a little weird because of me, I started backing off and he thought it was because of some "performance issues" he had in the bedroom but it wasn't. It was just personal stuff and I tried explaining that to him but hes really insecure about it so it got awkward after that. Maybe you're right, maybe I should just move on from him and stop taking everything so seriously! The reason I really started to like him is because I haven't really dated, I've had two serious relationships and both of the guys were straight up jerks, selfish and mean and it was not good. With this guy hes considerate, hes funny, we like to do the same things, he gets along with my friends.. We just have a good time together and it feels good. If nothing else, I'd like to at least still be friends but I don't know how to go about it now.
Redhead14 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Last year I started hanging out with one of my neighbors. He moved out of the building a few months ago and things kind of fizzled between us... We've hung out maybe 5 times since then, and we hardly text each other. I do see him at least once a week if not more because he shops at my job, but that's different.. I still like him and I'm wondering what I can do to get the spark back? We used to be fun and flirty and now it all feels kind of awkward. I kind of feel like he does still like me because of small things like him coming into my store to buy just a redbull when there is 5 convenience stores between his place and my job... I think part of the problem is he is very shy and he has some confidence issues. Any ideas? I think part of the problem is he is very shy and he has some confidence issues. - Thinking is not knowing. I kind of feel like he does still like me because of small things -- Forget about small things that are only about what you think is happening. All you know is he comes into your store for redbull. We used to be fun and flirty and now it all feels kind of awkward. It's awkward because he's not showing you enough that he's interested and you want to control the situation. Let him come to you and be more direct. If he needs time to get his confidence up, so be it. Let this unfold naturally for you and for him. He hasn't been keeping in touch with you. Smile and make eye contact each time he comes in. Engage in light conversation.
xcupid Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Maintain your contact with him and flirt with him. As much as I respect Redhead's wise advise, I have to offer the alternative view here because he's shy, he doesn't have much confidence, and he's afraid of being rejected. So if you want him to ask you out you will have to be pretty obvious you're open to that. In the meantime, you should date other guys. Don't pin all of your hopes on this guy because he may not come through especially since he has the added embarrassment about "performance" problems.
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