mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 I decided to sign up on OKCupid. I figured, why not, it could be fun again, right? I tried a few weeks ago, and this whackjob that had been stalking me on websites for the past few years sent me a message within minutes of my profile going live so I canceled the account. But I thought I would try again. Results? I got the same things one can expect (spam, people without profile pictures who are hiding something, someone who says "hello" then when I respond with a "hi how are you?" the profile is deleted, etc.) whether you are on a paid or free website. The things that are odd about this time around seem to be this ... I was chatting with someone in an instant messenger situation. The length of this went like this: Him: Hi. Me: Hello. H: I'm a bit younger than you, are you interested in me? M: So far, yes. H: I'm looking for a FWB. M: Well ... Alright. Tell me some things about yourself then. ... Nothing. I mean he could have said SOMETHING about himself, right? Another - I got a message from someone. This took place over a few days ... Him: I am going to be direct, I like you and would like to meet you. Are you free on Thursday evening? Me: I am, yes. And yes I would be interested in meeting you as well. Him: Ok, can I have your phone number? Me: Alright. My number is (blank). Give me a call or text this evening. ... Nothing. I sign back onto the website later and the profile is deleted. These are either guys who are looking to have their egos stroked or I responded to flakes. Ah well, it's what it is.
IronZ Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 What are the ages of these guys? It sounds like they're very flaky/immature. OLD is the same way for me. 90% of the time I get no responses. When I do it's always an uphill battle just trying to get a second reply from them, let alone a full conversation. Getting the phone number is even trickier and after that I usually get them on a date if I've gotten their number but that's another story in itself and so far nothing's worked out. Out of the countless messages I send out, only a handful have gone on dates with me. Not good odds. Don't worry you're not alone. This online dating thing is brutal.
TheBathWater Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Never give your number out indiscriminately. There are too many bots on online dating now trying to pull people's contact information, not date people. You might have encountered that. You've got to remember these guys are doing this to other women too. Like someone else said, they might go after someone more attractive to them. Also, they don't have to work more than five seconds for you, which isn't attractive IMO. If I were you, I would not do the messenger thing. Turn it off. Stick to emails. When guys email you, wait at least a half day or an entire day to respond. Do NOT give your contact info out right away. Wait until the second or third email exchange at least, but not much longer than that. I believe you will have better success with this strategy. 1
wizer Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 I decided to sign up on OKCupid. I figured, why not, it could be fun again, right? I tried a few weeks ago, and this whackjob that had been stalking me on websites for the past few years sent me a message within minutes of my profile going live so I canceled the account. . Why the heck would you cancel an account you just created, just because some guy stalked you? You delete the message, you block him, and you move on. If you let yourself get that intimidated by an internet stranger, then you've got some work to do on yourself. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2015 Author Posted July 4, 2015 The seem to be men in their early/mid twenties who are doing these things. I would give some the slightest time of day just giving a basic greeting to, but they just catch some attention and then do not much. I don't know what to think on it other than the fact they just want attention from me or someone else. What I really don't like is the one who I start of having some kind of conversation with, then he sends another "hi how are you" message to me. Or he deletes his account, creates a new one, then sends a greeting message to me. How stupid do you think I am?
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 You are looking for a FWB or ONS, why do you need them to talk to you about themselves? All you need to know is if they have a functional penis. 2
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Married guys. Or guys just counting numbers. They have zero intention or interest in ever meeting you or anyone....their MO is to see how many women want to meet *them.* They are probably insecure...it's an ego thing.
kendahke Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 (edited) Me: I am, yes. And yes I would be interested in meeting you as well. Him: Ok, can I have your phone number? Me: Alright. My number is (blank). Give me a call or text this evening. ... Nothing. I sign back onto the website later and the profile is deleted. These are either guys who are looking to have their egos stroked or I responded to flakes. Ah well, it's what it is. That was a nigerian catfish who got gutted by someone else earlier in the day/week and they killed his profile. Count yourself lucky that it didn't pan out. He would have told you that he couldn't meet you because he was leaving the country to go work on an oil platform; then he would inundate you with talk of over-the-top love; then there would be some emergency crisis preventing him from returning "home" and he needed you to financially bail him out. Romance scamming is the most profitable business in Nigeria. That country is reticent to shutting it down because of all the revenue it brings in from unsuspecting western women. IN the future, get a google number for handing out. Never give out your actual phone number. Edited July 4, 2015 by kendahke
SandraTempleton Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 And no I'm not talking about Tinder... Back in April I decided to start dating again and wanted to cast a wider net for guys that I wouldn't meet organically. I liked the idea of this app called Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) that my friend told me about. Your profile is 4 pictures of yourself and 3 short paragraphs or lists under the topics I am, I like, and I appreciate when my date... The app will pull your age, education, and empolyer from your facebook account that it is linked to however it won't show your name until you are connected. If you and a potential date both like each other it sets up a private chat line through the app for one week.
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