Jord11 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 I'm seeing this girl and I want to take it slow I don't want to push her away which I've done with my last ex any pointers I could do to not make that happen ? I tend to care too much and dive right into things I do like her a lot that's why I want to make it work
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 What specifically have you said/done in the past that you feel pushed women away? Don't do those things anymore.
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Some may call what I am about to suggest game playing but to me it was a way of keeping my own emotions & hormones in check. Put limits on yourself. For me they included, keeping dates to 2-3 per week in the beginning, one weekend night and one short weeknight. Keep phone calls to no more than 3 per week all under 1/2 hour. Only text / e-mail / FB on the days you don't call or see the person & even then one method only per day. That isn't to say you can't look at the other person's social media you just can't comment. On the dates ask Qs and listen more than you talk. (This one can be very tough for me) Have a specific minimum # of dates before you even think about sex and until that # has been reached do not have dates in places conducive to sex, like each other's homes. Do not say ILY first, at least not inside of the 1st 6 month. Disbelieve anybody who says it inside the first 90 days. 1
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Depends. If the woman is into you she won't view your enthusiasm as rushing things. It's when the other person isn't into it as much as you that we start hearing words like 'rushing' and 'neediness'. In other words what the last lady considered rushing may be considered normal by this current girl. The answer lays in what you want versus what she wants. It's something to be evaluated between you and her. We cannot dictate for you what's good or not. I personally like daily contacts and 2-3 dates a week. Someone else is gonna post she can't stand daily contact and she just wants 1 date a week. That being said if you are the type of man that likes to connect early there is nothing wrong with this, you just need to meet someone that handles things the same way. Example if I meet a man that wants 1 date a week and calls me 1 time a week that's not satisfying to me and I won't change who I am and what I need just to mirror his style. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 ^^^^^^ This. I couldn't have said it any better! The point of dating is to find someone compatible...that includes someone who appreciates the real you and your normal style. 1
Jimmyy18 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Take your time. You need to follow her pace in a relationship and make sure it progresses.
fitnessfan365 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Don't beat yourself up man. It's human nature to want more with someone you like. But when you try to rush the process, you're acting more out of fear. You worry that if don't lock her down, you'll lose her. Then it becomes more about assuring yourself than it does wanting her for her. Does that make sense? By focusing simply on spending time with her, you're getting to know her and appreciating her for who she is. Not because you want a GF to fill a void. Then when she feels the same way, she'll either bring up the talk or make really subtle hints. After that, you just finalize what you already knew.
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