RedButton Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 So I met a wonderful girl earlier this year while I've been living overseas. My Visa runs out in September, but I was planning to see how things went with her before deciding to extend it or not. If I really fell for her I planned to extend my Visa and live here longer. Unfortunately, she had to leave for the entire Summer (June to August) for work, and I would have been leaving in early September. We talked about it and decided that we'd keep in touch over the summer, see each other before I left, but we couldn't make a commitment based on the short time we had together. I think this is for the best, but right now with my time running out I'm feeling quite down about it. I know that realistically I can't change my life based on having known this girl for less than 6 months, but it's tough to think we're breaking up for that reason. I don't think I can do an LDR, and I don't think that's what she wants either. Anyone been in this situation? I guess I'm just looking for ways to deal with this or brace for it. Knowing early on in the piece how things would pan out made it easier and I'm so, so glad that I got to meet her, but it's still on my mind a lot these last few days.
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 It's a case of bad timing. It happens. Enjoy what you have right now & then remember it fondly. There is not much more if you are unwilling to try for an LDR. I'm not judging you. LDRs are hard.
Author RedButton Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 It's a case of bad timing. It happens. Enjoy what you have right now & then remember it fondly. There is not much more if you are unwilling to try for an LDR. I'm not judging you. LDRs are hard. Thanks, I feel like I will be okay with it (I'm just a bit of a romantic and fall quickly for women). Speaking to my mother about it, she said 'if it's meant to be, you can always go back or she can come to you'. I know she's an idealist, but it's a nice thought (and realistically, I do have the means to go back if I really needed or wanted to). And yeah LDR just seems like something I couldn't do. I feel like I know my limitations, and it's also something I feel she wouldn't be able to or want to do at this point either.
OldSoul86 Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 LDRs take a significant amount of effort and your personal time to make it work. It will only work if you two commit a hundred percent fully - and even then it may not work because of the distance between you two. I got out of a LDR last month and now that I reflect back on it, it wasn't for me. I spent SO much time on the computer for instant messaging that I neglected quite a few other aspects of my life (work, family, and friends) because I felt like I had to be there for my extremely needy ex. I would never tell you to not get into a LDR, just be aware that significant sacrifices will need to be made if you two are going to be successful. I would suggest reading up on other peoples' experiences and maybe even have a gander online and read about the trials and tribulations that come with a LDR. Best of luck, OS
Carla B Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 So I met a wonderful girl earlier this year while I've been living overseas. My Visa runs out in September, but I was planning to see how things went with her before deciding to extend it or not. If I really fell for her I planned to extend my Visa and live here longer. Unfortunately, she had to leave for the entire Summer (June to August) for work, and I would have been leaving in early September. We talked about it and decided that we'd keep in touch over the summer, see each other before I left, but we couldn't make a commitment based on the short time we had together. I think this is for the best, but right now with my time running out I'm feeling quite down about it. I know that realistically I can't change my life based on having known this girl for less than 6 months, but it's tough to think we're breaking up for that reason. I don't think I can do an LDR, and I don't think that's what she wants either. Anyone been in this situation? I guess I'm just looking for ways to deal with this or brace for it. Knowing early on in the piece how things would pan out made it easier and I'm so, so glad that I got to meet her, but it's still on my mind a lot these last few days. Bad timing if you could change the situation would you?
Author RedButton Posted July 6, 2015 Author Posted July 6, 2015 LDRs take a significant amount of effort and your personal time to make it work. It will only work if you two commit a hundred percent fully - and even then it may not work because of the distance between you two. OS Thanks for the advice. I've been thinking about it, and I don't think an LDR would work. If we had been dating for longer, maybe I would consider it, but right now it's too soon to make that kind of commitment for both of us. Bad timing if you could change the situation would you? I had a long conversation about this last night with my sister. I came to the conclusion that if it weren't for this girl, I would have no confusion and would want to move back to my home country. My biggest fear is just that I'm giving up on someone who could have been very special (I think I'm just a romantic at heart, we've only been together a short time). I was told by a few people that if we really do share a bond that strong, we'll know after I move and then I can make the call to come back or work something out. If not, we'll be able to move on and still look back on the time together as being a good relationship. I think that makes sense, it's a small world now and we an easily be in touch on opposite sides of the world.
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