jsksa Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Hi everyone, So about 8 weeks ago I was befriended by a girl on FB who had an interest in going out. We exchanged telephone numbers. Several times she has made an excuse or cancelled, not at the last moment. The first time we rescheduled. The second time I stopped all communication. She came back with a PM on FB 10 days later. The third time she cancelled the day before. I didn't even bother responding to her text. I again stopped all contact. Three weeks go by she contacts me again via FB. Wants to meet me once again. You guess it I make plans and once again it happens. She first trys to make the time earlier. Cant find a sitter. OK I say. An hour later another text saying can we keep the original time. I say no because I would be dealing with traffic and wouldn't be there on time. Finally I said forget it Ill see you another time. During these 8 weeks we talk quite often on the telephone. They are pleasant conversations. So once again this past weekend we talk and try again. I tell her I will call Tuesday. Now she owns her own business and she had a big contract to do all week. I call no answer. I call back 1 hour later saying its Tuesday looking to make plans to see you. She texts back, too busy on site to talk will call when I can. About midnight I text saying looks like we wont be talking. On Wednesday she sends me a text saying she has been going all day all night too busy to talk, so sorry. So I wait a bit and call her at 9pm. it goes to voice mail. I leave a message basically saying, "look for 8 weeks I've tried to meet up with you and nothing happens. We talk on the telephone and everything seems fine, you say you want to see me. And it doesn't happen. So I want you to tell me what you want out of this relationship. A friendship, do you have any feelings here at all, what are we doing besides wasting time? Please call me write a message anything because you have frustrated me a bit here. Tell me what you want. So normally I wouldn't leave a message like this because it reeks of desperation. But after 8 weeks people I think I had to say something here. But now I regret it, She hasnt called or texted me. Were still friends so far on FB. There is an ex boyfriend out there that early on she said she wasnt quite over so maybe thats it. Do I once again cease all communication? I have given here the benefit of the doubt because she is someone from school although about 20 years ago. I do enjoy talking with her. What do I do no leave it alone?
Fleur de cactus Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 I dont think she wants to meet with you, just her way to take too long to get back to you when you are waiting for her, or to tell you "I cannot talk right now" is suspicious. I mean one time is ok, twice is acceptable but it seems like it will be like this all the time. You said you know her from school? do you know her, you saw her before? Because she acts like a person who does not exists. Sorry to say this but I watch those programs where people pretend to be who they are not and find excuses to not meet.
Author jsksa Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 I agree. Well she graduated 1 year before me in HS. I should say I knew of her. Big time flaker. I was bothered by when I left the voice mail. But 8 weeks of this crap frustrated me. Maybe this is what she wants.
TheBathWater Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 I agree. Well she graduated 1 year before me in HS. I should say I knew of her. Big time flaker. I was bothered by when I left the voice mail. But 8 weeks of this crap frustrated me. Maybe this is what she wants. She's not worth your 'Next' her, and move on.
yxalitis Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Wait, people get asked out...on Facebook? well, I never...!
IronZ Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 About midnight I text saying looks like we wont be talking. On Wednesday she sends me a text saying she has been going all day all night too busy to talk, so sorry. So I wait a bit and call her at 9pm. 2 things I wanna say to what you wrote here: 1. No one is so busy that they can't send a simple text message. She's not Jack Bauer on the show 24 where she has to fight terrorists every second of the day. She can take 2 minutes out of the day to either call or text you with plans. She even texted you to say she can't text you. Huh..? 2. You guys are approaching this whole planning thing all wrong. You don't need to have a 30 minute conversation to make plans. A simple text message will do the trick. See you this Friday at XXX. That's it. If she can't make it Friday, ask her to propose a new time. No need to waste each other's time calling. Now on to the bigger picture here. She is what I would call an always unavailable girl. Believe me I know because one of my closest friends, and the girl I was heartbroken over for a while, is the same way. She is downright horrible at making and keeping plans. She has no quandaries about simply staying a shut-in and texting me for the rest of my life. Anytime we would actually see each other, it would be because I had to request it over and over and over again. I see her maybe twice a year if I'm lucky, and she lives a half hour drive away at best. For her to be so unavailable to me was so beyond me, and that's why I resigned myself to the fact that we just weren't right for each other. Is it a relationship you're looking for? Because no relationship should have to go 8 weeks without seeing each other one time, especially if you live within close distance. No relationship should cease all communication for weeks on end and then it starts again as if nothing happened. No relationship should have one person constantly flaking out. This isn't real. It's not a relationship. As for your question, you did the right thing by calling her out on her BS. She knows now that she rubbed you the wrong way and if her move now is to stop talking to you, then she's not mature enough to deserve you. Stop talking to her. If you hear from her again, you'll have to either ignore it or let her know you're tired of her sh*t and if she flakes out one more time you're done. 1
xcupid Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Move on. You're wasting your time. She's too busy for a relationship.
Vercetti Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Absolutely. I met my GF on Facebook. Facebook is better than Internet dating sites. Saw wife on myspace, asked her out on Facebook. I hope the shocked poster was being sarcastic, they are social networking sites for a reason. As for the OP. Spade is a spade...ask out and no go, on to someone that gets off the internet when invited out. Yet could have fun, see how many dates can get while this girl still flops around as if her time is so important.
Redhead14 Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 Hi everyone, So about 8 weeks ago I was befriended by a girl on FB who had an interest in going out. We exchanged telephone numbers. Several times she has made an excuse or cancelled, not at the last moment. The first time we rescheduled. The second time I stopped all communication. She came back with a PM on FB 10 days later. The third time she cancelled the day before. I didn't even bother responding to her text. I again stopped all contact. Three weeks go by she contacts me again via FB. Wants to meet me once again. You guess it I make plans and once again it happens. She first trys to make the time earlier. Cant find a sitter. OK I say. An hour later another text saying can we keep the original time. I say no because I would be dealing with traffic and wouldn't be there on time. Finally I said forget it Ill see you another time. During these 8 weeks we talk quite often on the telephone. They are pleasant conversations. So once again this past weekend we talk and try again. I tell her I will call Tuesday. Now she owns her own business and she had a big contract to do all week. I call no answer. I call back 1 hour later saying its Tuesday looking to make plans to see you. She texts back, too busy on site to talk will call when I can. About midnight I text saying looks like we wont be talking. On Wednesday she sends me a text saying she has been going all day all night too busy to talk, so sorry. So I wait a bit and call her at 9pm. it goes to voice mail. I leave a message basically saying, "look for 8 weeks I've tried to meet up with you and nothing happens. We talk on the telephone and everything seems fine, you say you want to see me. And it doesn't happen. So I want you to tell me what you want out of this relationship. A friendship, do you have any feelings here at all, what are we doing besides wasting time? Please call me write a message anything because you have frustrated me a bit here. Tell me what you want. So normally I wouldn't leave a message like this because it reeks of desperation. But after 8 weeks people I think I had to say something here. But now I regret it, She hasnt called or texted me. Were still friends so far on FB. There is an ex boyfriend out there that early on she said she wasnt quite over so maybe thats it. Do I once again cease all communication? I have given here the benefit of the doubt because she is someone from school although about 20 years ago. I do enjoy talking with her. What do I do no leave it alone? So normally I wouldn't leave a message like this because it reeks of desperation -- Of course, you cease all communication. Why would you continue the cycle of desperation?
mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 She's a time waster, or she wants you to feel that you are interested and then let you down game playing. Move on.
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