Cold approach is such an awesome way to meet girls

[elaine567]

I think it is very good in life to surround yourself with upbeat happy people, people who DO things and people who you can learn from or teach.

 

BUT the old adage "Be kind to everyone on the way up; you’ll meet the same people on the way down." is actually true.

 

And whilst your "boring", "lame" former mates may not be what you need atm to meet women, they may be exactly the type of people you need in your life later on.

 

Probably a lot more genuine than a bunch of shallow guys with "game" who are hitters and quitters, and who are using women like fleshlights with no empathy or care for who they hurt in their quest for their own pleasure.

[Camaro Guy]

Does the way you dress matter when you approach?

 

When you're new to this whole thing, you're going to want as many positive associations on your side as possible. So yes, dressing well matters. Even if you weren't approaching girls, I believe that you must always dress your best, even when running errands. You never know when you'll meet that man or woman who will be your next client, your next boss, etc.

 

I'm not saying you have to start wearing Armani suits with Rolexes but definitely make sure you dress well. Make sure your clothes fit, are ironed if need be, and you have great grooming.

 

However, I do know some guys indirectly who are so good with girls that they don't follow any of this but they are such free-spirited individuals that women are attracted to them.

 

I think it is very good in life to surround yourself with upbeat happy people, people who DO things and people who you can learn from or teach.

 

BUT the old adage "Be kind to everyone on the way up; you’ll meet the same people on the way down." is actually true.

 

And whilst your "boring", "lame" former mates may not be what you need atm to meet women, they may be exactly the type of people you need in your life later on.

 

Probably a lot more genuine than a bunch of shallow guys with "game" who are hitters and quitters, and who are using women like fleshlights with no empathy or care for who they hurt in their quest for their own pleasure.

 

The guys I hang out with are anything but "shallow". We just love going out and enjoying the vibe. We like the feminine energy when we talk to girls. None of like manipulating women for whatever reason. That's someone's daughter. Sister. Cousin. Aunt. Etc. We've all been hurt by girls we really liked and we don't want to do the same to others. These guys just...get it. Most of all, we love the thrill of the chase. We love flirting with women. Most of all, I love the banter we have. These are all forward-thinking, positive guys.

 

This was a long time coming that I was leaving my past circle of friends. The last straw was a couple of weeks ago was when one of them called a girl "a slut" because she was dead in conversation with him at a bar. My other friends said "yeah, I bet she's ****ing a six foot tall guy and loving it." Then everyone was like "yeah, yeah!" That's when I said "enough". I couldn't take their negativity. These guys were guys who always wanted the easy out, the sure victory, and when they didn't get it, they'd complain. How many times did I hear "she ****s alphas, uses betas"? How many times did I hear "she's frigid"? How many times did I see them pull up random guys on Facebook from our college that we knew and make fun of them? "He looks gay with that haircut" "what a tool bro" "dude, this is the guy who ****ed Sarah. She was a slut anyway". One of the worst nights in my life was watching television in the ****ing dark and one of them was complaining about how this girl didn't like him because he was a "nice guy". Then this other guy said "yeah. we nice guys always get the scraps."

 

It was endless. And it was dragging me down. My disposition took a nosedive. I started to feel scarcity instead of abundance. So I had to get away from all that negative energy. I thought I had no choice but to stay with them. I couldn't see where else I could make friends. Luckily, there was an escape.

 

And these guys will never help anyone. They'd be likely to stab you in the back in the off chance that a girl would sleep with them. One of them was making fun of me in front of a group of girls just to seem like a macho guy. And those girls ended up going somewhere else. He tried to get one of their numbers but she just said "oh sorry, I have a boyfriend."

 

These guys will always stay at the bottom. They're like a barrel of crabs. They never give. They only take.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Camaro, but I still think you said you still haven't had a girlfriend yet right? or do you think you are close to one now?

[Grumpybutfun]

The guys I hang out with are anything but "shallow". We just love going out and enjoying the vibe. We like the feminine energy when we talk to girls. None of like manipulating women for whatever reason. That's someone's daughter. Sister. Cousin. Aunt. Etc. We've all been hurt by girls we really liked and we don't want to do the same to others. These guys just...get it. Most of all, we love the thrill of the chase. We love flirting with women. Most of all, I love the banter we have. These are all forward-thinking, positive guys.

 

This was a long time coming that I was leaving my past circle of friends. The last straw was a couple of weeks ago was when one of them called a girl "a slut" because she was dead in conversation with him at a bar. My other friends said "yeah, I bet she's ****ing a six foot tall guy and loving it." Then everyone was like "yeah, yeah!" That's when I said "enough". I couldn't take their negativity. These guys were guys who always wanted the easy out, the sure victory, and when they didn't get it, they'd complain. How many times did I hear "she ****s alphas, uses betas"? How many times did I hear "she's frigid"? How many times did I see them pull up random guys on Facebook from our college that we knew and make fun of them? "He looks gay with that haircut" "what a tool bro" "dude, this is the guy who ****ed Sarah. She was a slut anyway". One of the worst nights in my life was watching television in the ****ing dark and one of them was complaining about how this girl didn't like him because he was a "nice guy". Then this other guy said "yeah. we nice guys always get the scraps."

 

It was endless. And it was dragging me down. My disposition took a nosedive. I started to feel scarcity instead of abundance. So I had to get away from all that negative energy. I thought I had no choice but to stay with them. I couldn't see where else I could make friends. Luckily, there was an escape.

 

And these guys will never help anyone. They'd be likely to stab you in the back in the off chance that a girl would sleep with them. One of them was making fun of me in front of a group of girls just to seem like a macho guy. And those girls ended up going somewhere else. He tried to get one of their numbers but she just said "oh sorry, I have a boyfriend."

 

These guys will always stay at the bottom. They're like a barrel of crabs. They never give. They only take.

 

Toxicity isn't something I value in friends either...and your description reminded me of men in the a navy who would beg and plead for me to go hang out with them but would spend their time complaining, being asses and generally just being toxic about their wives and women they wanted to bang. Integrity, honor and decency are important to me so the negativity was annoying as hell. I would rather be around a chorus of cawing Ravens than that crap so I get where you are coming from. I try to explain this to my kids...what you ingest, who you spend your time with and what you invest in is what you will get as your return in life.

Good job, I'm all for this,

Grumps

[Noideanow]

I always loved the cold approach...loved that chase...like hunting...the adrenaline...the eye meets eye stare....the twirling of her hair around her finger....the shy smile....the cute giggle when I approached and muttered some self deprecating inane remark and smiled and showed my dimples (hey, we all have our tools.)

Sure, I was rejected some...but I had a helluva time anyway. My wife loves to hear about my single years. I try to explain this approach to my twentysomething son, and he looks at me like I have three heads because that is just not how it is done anymore.

Grumps

 

ohh what masculine energy there:p but as a woman i cant help but wonder why your wife loves hearing about your flirts with other women:o by the way wish there were more men like you and Camero out there;) at least you sound like attractive men:)

[elaine567]

 

This was a long time coming that I was leaving my past circle of friends. The last straw was a couple of weeks ago was when one of them called a girl "a slut" because she was dead in conversation with him at a bar. My other friends said "yeah, I bet she's ****ing a six foot tall guy and loving it." Then everyone was like "yeah, yeah!" That's when I said "enough". I couldn't take their negativity. These guys were guys who always wanted the easy out, the sure victory, and when they didn't get it, they'd complain. How many times did I hear "she ****s alphas, uses betas"? How many times did I hear "she's frigid"? How many times did I see them pull up random guys on Facebook from our college that we knew and make fun of them? "He looks gay with that haircut" "what a tool bro" "dude, this is the guy who ****ed Sarah. She was a slut anyway". One of the worst nights in my life was watching television in the ****ing dark and one of them was complaining about how this girl didn't like him because he was a "nice guy". Then this other guy said "yeah. we nice guys always get the scraps."

 

It was endless. And it was dragging me down. My disposition took a nosedive. I started to feel scarcity instead of abundance. So I had to get away from all that negative energy. I thought I had no choice but to stay with them. I couldn't see where else I could make friends. Luckily, there was an escape.

 

And these guys will never help anyone. They'd be likely to stab you in the back in the off chance that a girl would sleep with them. One of them was making fun of me in front of a group of girls just to seem like a macho guy. And those girls ended up going somewhere else. He tried to get one of their numbers but she just said "oh sorry, I have a boyfriend."

 

These guys will always stay at the bottom. They're like a barrel of crabs. They never give. They only take.

 

Yes, it is dragging me down just reading that rubbish from those guys.

I take it back, you were completely right ditching that lot of negative losers.

[Toodaloo]

Camero.

 

You have no idea how pleased I am to read all of this.

 

Finally you get it.

 

Its refreshing to know that at least one guy that was moaning has finally taken our advice on the chin, acted on it and (unsurprisingly) is getting dates and numbers etc.

 

Well done!

 

See rejection doesn't hurt all that much if you take the right attitude!

[Camaro Guy]

Camaro, but I still think you said you still haven't had a girlfriend yet right? or do you think you are close to one now?

 

I've only been doing this for a short amount of time but I realized one thing: a girlfriend isn't something you try to "get" or "attain". If you and a girl are on solid ground and things line up then you'll manage to start seeing each other more often and then you'll start calling her your girlfriend (maybe).

 

I'm currently seeing three girls at the moment. However, I might stop talking to this one because she's causing more drama than I'm comfortable with. The first girl I had sex with and I are growing closer but she knows that I'm seeing other girls. She asked me the other day "so what are we exactly?" I knew this question was coming so I just told her "I don't really like putting a label on it but we'll see how it turns out. I just really like seeing you." She smiled and we kissed. See, you don't tell a girl "I dunno" like an idiot. You have to know how to be socially intelligent. I could make this girl my girlfriend but I have to decide if it's really worth the investment. A couple more months and I'd know.

 

In my opinion, being able to talk to women in both platonic and romantic scenarios is an essential skill for all men to learn. Without it, he's just lost.

 

ohh what masculine energy there:p but as a woman i cant help but wonder why your wife loves hearing about your flirts with other women:o by the way wish there were more men like you and Camero out there;) at least you sound like attractive men:)

 

I told one of the girls I'm seeing wanted to come over my house. My room is a mess as of now, so I told her I have a bunch of dead bodies in my closet and I didn't want her to see them. She ended up laughing hysterically and asked "really" and I said "yep. It's kinda of secret." . You can say anything if you know how to spin it.

Edited July 16, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I've only been doing this for a short amount of time but I realized one thing: a girlfriend isn't something you try to "get" or "attain". If you and a girl are on solid ground and things line up then you'll manage to start seeing each other more often and then you'll start calling her your girlfriend (maybe).

 

I'm currently seeing three girls at the moment. However, I might stop talking to this one because she's causing more drama than I'm comfortable with. The first girl I had sex with and I are growing closer but she knows that I'm seeing other girls. She asked me the other day "so what are we exactly?" I knew this question was coming so I just told her "I don't really like putting a label on it but we'll see how it turns out. I just really like seeing you." She smiled and we kissed. See, you don't tell a girl "I dunno" like an idiot. You have to know how to be socially intelligent. I could make this girl my girlfriend but I have to decide if it's really worth the investment. A couple more months and I'd know.

 

In my opinion, being able to talk to women in both platonic and romantic scenarios is an essential skill for all men to learn. Without it, he's just lost.

 

 

 

I told one of the girls I'm seeing wanted to come over my house. My room is a mess as of now, so I told her I have a bunch of dead bodies in my closet and I didn't want her to see them. She ended up laughing hysterically and asked "really" and I said "yep. It's kinda of secret." . You can say anything if you know how to spin it.

 

 

so you lost your virginity recently at the age of 25, how long ago was this? how long did the journey take for you to finally lose the v-card?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

OP, did you take any advice from any dating coaches/gurus, online stuff besides here to improve your ability to approach and talk to women?

[Camaro Guy]

so you lost your virginity recently at the age of 25, how long ago was this? how long did the journey take for you to finally lose the v-card?

 

I first had sex on 4th of July after a night of heavy drinking, great fun, and general banter. We both wanted to continue the party, so we did so. In private. In fact, we're still partying.

 

I turned 25 last month, so it was a "lifelong journey" whatever that means.

 

OP, did you take any advice from any dating coaches/gurus, online stuff besides here to improve your ability to approach and talk to women?

 

I took online advice. You know what it said? Just ****ing do it. Like Nike. Theory is useless without action. **** theory. Theory is bull****. You follow all these guys who say do this, do that, do that when 95% of them are in relationships with sub-par women. So let's say you finally do go out one night and then finally talk to a woman. She hits you with something that wasn't in the playbook. What then? What do you do? I'll tell you what you'll do.

 

You'll crumple like a paper doll and she'll say "I have to go to the bathroom" when you fail. Women will test you outright before you sleep with them. They don't do this maliciously, it is rather unconscious. Even then, they'll still test you in subtle ways. They want to see if you measure up to their standard of masculinity. If you're true to the core. Not some bull**** facade. So no, I did not take the advice of any "gurus". My friends were my "gurus". I learned from experience.

 

I remember something my dad said that resonated with me but I forgot it along the way as I got blinded and jaded by life. "When you go past your current limitations and the fears you think you have, that's where the growth is. But you have to commit." It just all clicked. He was right. He was ****ing right. In order to grow, you must push past your perceived resistance. So I comitted. I went out every weekend for 2 months. Then I started going out every single day for three weeks. I was tired. I wanted to say screw it. I often had breakdowns in my apartment after coming back from a long night of no luck. It got swiped aside. I got seen as creep. I got "I havea boyfriend" many, many, many times. But my mind was charged. I felt myself growing. Then I decided to go all in. To me, the pain of staying as a man who couldn't relate to women, who couldn't express himself, who couldn't experience being a human was greater than the pain of approaching girls. Then my success just blew up.

 

Look at a caterpillar. In order to turn to a beautiful butterfly, the caterpillar must go through a crystalizing process wrapped in a cocoon. It is mostly painful I'd imagine. It's lonely. The caterpillar doesn't know when it's going to get out. Everything is dark. But then one day it sprouts wings! It flies into the air and it's free! If it didn't do that, it would always crawl on the ground looking up at the sky at all the other butterflies knowing that it could do that do if it wasn't so scared. But they're not scared. They're fulfilling their purpose. They have no regrets about doing this. Because they know what they must do.

 

As a man, you must know what you must do. You must look deep inside of yourself and see if you're too scared to grow wings and go through the painful process. Or will you always make excuses with you head in the dirt feeling sorry for yourself?

 

The choice is yours.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Camaro Guy

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I first had sex on 4th of July after a night of heavy drinking, great fun, and general banter. We both wanted to continue the party, so we did so. In private. In fact, we're still partying.

 

I turned 25 last month, so it was a "lifelong journey" whatever that means.

 

 

 

I took online advice. You know what it said? Just ****ing do it. Like Nike. Theory is useless without action. **** theory. Theory is bull****. You follow all these guys who say do this, do that, do that when 95% of them are in relationships with sub-par women. So let's say you finally do go out one night and then finally talk to a woman. She hits you with something that wasn't in the playbook. What then? What do you do? I'll tell you what you'll do.

 

You'll crumple like a paper doll and she'll say "I have to go to the bathroom" when you fail. Women will test you outright before you sleep with them. They don't do this maliciously, it is rather unconscious. Even then, they'll still test you in subtle ways. They want to see if you measure up to their standard of masculinity. If you're true to the core. Not some bull**** facade. So no, I did not take the advice of any "gurus". My friends were my "gurus". I learned from experience.

 

I remember something my dad said that resonated with me but I forgot it along the way as I got blinded and jaded by life. "When you go past your current limitations and the fears you think you have, that's where the growth is. But you have to commit." It just all clicked. He was right. He was ****ing right. In order to grow, you must push past your perceived resistance. So I comitted. I went out every weekend for 2 months. Then I started going out every single day for three weeks. I was tired. I wanted to say screw it. I often had breakdowns in my apartment after coming back from a long night of no luck. It got swiped aside. I got seen as creep. I got "I havea boyfriend" many, many, many times. But my mind was charged. I felt myself growing. Then I decided to go all in. To me, the pain of staying as a man who couldn't relate to women, who couldn't express himself, who couldn't experience being a human was greater than the pain of approaching girls. Then my success just blew up.

 

Look at a caterpillar. In order to turn to a beautiful butterfly, the caterpillar must go through a crystalizing process wrapped in a cocoon. It is mostly painful I'd imagine. It's lonely. The caterpillar doesn't know when it's going to get out. Everything is dark. But then one day it sprouts wings! It flies into the air and it's free! If it didn't do that, it would always crawl on the ground looking up at the sky at all the other butterflies knowing that it could do that do if it wasn't so scared. But they're not scared. They're fulfilling their purpose. They have no regrets about doing this. Because they know what they must do.

 

As a man, you must know what you must do. You must look deep inside of yourself and see if you're too scared to grow wings and go through the painful process. Or will you always make excuses with you head in the dirt feeling sorry for yourself?

 

The choice is yours.

I just wonder what's the best way to take action and gain good momentum with women

[Grumpybutfun]

ohh what masculine energy there:p but as a woman i cant help but wonder why your wife loves hearing about your flirts with other women:o by the way wish there were more men like you and Camero out there;) at least you sound like attractive men:)

 

Masculine energy......why do I keep getting that from you guys?

 

My wife is my best friend and we have enjoyed hearing all about each other's lives before us. She knows she has no reason to be jealous of my past, because she is my everything. It is simple. We love hearing about each other's stories....we got to know each other that way. We are very intimate and accepting and compassionate towards one another. She knows there were many lovely women who made me aware and mindful of women's needs and desires. She finds it fascinating. My wife is confident in my love for her.

Best,

G

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Has the OP mainly approached women in bars?

[Shotclock]

Camero,

your post is like a becon of light! Just out of a long relationship and not sure what to do to improve myself. This is obviously it. What I want is a manual to follow, but there is no manual. So I need to create one tailored to me. It takes a pile of guts to do what you did, but the payoff in all aspects of your life will be so worth it.

Thanks!

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Sounds like it was all practice for you OP? It's something you had to learn how to do?

[GravityMan]

Camaro definitely made the right decision to ditch his old friends. Not because they're nerds or geeks or whatever (there are plenty of nerds and geeks out there who get out there, socialize and have no problems dating women), but because they're TOXIC and BITTER. The company one surrounds himself with can influence his state of mind, so it's a wise idea to cut cancerous, negative influences out of his life when possible.

 

That said, it is a good idea to keep what Elaine said in mind here:

 

I think it is very good in life to surround yourself with upbeat happy people, people who DO things and people who you can learn from or teach.

 

BUT the old adage "Be kind to everyone on the way up; you’ll meet the same people on the way down." is actually true.

 

And whilst your "boring", "lame" former mates may not be what you need atm to meet women, they may be exactly the type of people you need in your life later on.

 

Probably a lot more genuine than a bunch of shallow guys with "game" who are hitters and quitters, and who are using women like fleshlights with no empathy or care for who they hurt in their quest for their own pleasure.

 

As long as they're not toxic, I see nothing wrong with being friends or at least acquaintances with someone who's a homebody, or someone who already has a steady GF (or is married) and is kind of past the whole dating thing. There's much more to life than approaching women and getting dates.

 

It's kind of like the whole "never burn bridges unless absolutely necessary" thing in the professional world, particularly when leaving an old job to take a new one.

 

It's great that Camaro Guy is relaxing more, having fun, being tactful, respecting women's body language...and ultimately getting dates. The best benefit here is all of that will go a long way towards building up his confidence in ALL kinds of social situations, dating or otherwise. Most people like fun, interesting, confident and assertive guys (doesn't matter if the guy's introverted or extroverted). They're more likely to date, more likely to make friends, even more likely to be hired for a decent job in most companies. Simply put, others just like being around them more and feel more comfortable around them. The "just do it" saying is key to becoming more of a fun person in the eyes of others. Action is far more likely to be interesting, intriguing and respected than inaction. There is no manual...so blaze your own path, write your own "manual", grab life by the horns.

 

But Camaro...just don't forget that you might just meet that special woman at a time and place that you least expect it. Who knows...it may be in a place that you normally considered "boring". Or she might approach you while you're eating lunch at a deli. And so on.

[S_A]

I bet she's ****ing a six foot tall guy and loving it." Then everyone was like "yeah, yeah!"

 

Haha this one made me laugh!

[Giggle]

The first girl I had sex with and I are growing closer but she knows that I'm seeing other girls. She asked me the other day "so what are we exactly?" I knew this question was coming so I just told her "I don't really like putting a label on it but we'll see how it turns out. I just really like seeing you." She smiled and we kissed. See, you don't tell a girl "I dunno" like an idiot. You have to know how to be socially intelligent. I could make this girl my girlfriend but I have to decide if it's really worth the investment. A couple more months and I'd know.

 

A couple more months before you decide to see only her? Damn. What makes it worth the investment for her to be your girlfriend?

 

I asked a guy similar and he didn't have anything good to say either. The message received was he meant more to me than I meant to him and he wanted to continue to play around. Well ok then, nothing serious. I yanked back the desire to spend more time with just him and went and slept with somebody else. Not sure what makes you think you're gonna be boyfriend material in her eyes in two months.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Well OP, I'm impressed by you, you must have done something to turn your situation around with women

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I first had sex on 4th of July after a night of heavy drinking, great fun, and general banter. We both wanted to continue the party, so we did so. In private. In fact, we're still partying.

 

I turned 25 last month, so it was a "lifelong journey" whatever that means.

 

 

 

I took online advice. You know what it said? Just ****ing do it. Like Nike. Theory is useless without action. **** theory. Theory is bull****. You follow all these guys who say do this, do that, do that when 95% of them are in relationships with sub-par women. So let's say you finally do go out one night and then finally talk to a woman. She hits you with something that wasn't in the playbook. What then? What do you do? I'll tell you what you'll do.

 

You'll crumple like a paper doll and she'll say "I have to go to the bathroom" when you fail. Women will test you outright before you sleep with them. They don't do this maliciously, it is rather unconscious. Even then, they'll still test you in subtle ways. They want to see if you measure up to their standard of masculinity. If you're true to the core. Not some bull**** facade. So no, I did not take the advice of any "gurus". My friends were my "gurus". I learned from experience.

 

I remember something my dad said that resonated with me but I forgot it along the way as I got blinded and jaded by life. "When you go past your current limitations and the fears you think you have, that's where the growth is. But you have to commit." It just all clicked. He was right. He was ****ing right. In order to grow, you must push past your perceived resistance. So I comitted. I went out every weekend for 2 months. Then I started going out every single day for three weeks. I was tired. I wanted to say screw it. I often had breakdowns in my apartment after coming back from a long night of no luck. It got swiped aside. I got seen as creep. I got "I havea boyfriend" many, many, many times. But my mind was charged. I felt myself growing. Then I decided to go all in. To me, the pain of staying as a man who couldn't relate to women, who couldn't express himself, who couldn't experience being a human was greater than the pain of approaching girls. Then my success just blew up.

 

Look at a caterpillar. In order to turn to a beautiful butterfly, the caterpillar must go through a crystalizing process wrapped in a cocoon. It is mostly painful I'd imagine. It's lonely. The caterpillar doesn't know when it's going to get out. Everything is dark. But then one day it sprouts wings! It flies into the air and it's free! If it didn't do that, it would always crawl on the ground looking up at the sky at all the other butterflies knowing that it could do that do if it wasn't so scared. But they're not scared. They're fulfilling their purpose. They have no regrets about doing this. Because they know what they must do.

 

As a man, you must know what you must do. You must look deep inside of yourself and see if you're too scared to grow wings and go through the painful process. Or will you always make excuses with you head in the dirt feeling sorry for yourself?

 

The choice is yours.

 

Re-read that now, that was very powerful for me, and Hercules and the 12 labors have served as inspiration for me, also Conan the Barbarian