organizedchaos Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 OP, you alwYs leave your place unlocked? But yeah, it's weird she just let herself in. And you could have gone to a movie on Sunday. You knew she'd still be there Sunday so it's not like you didn't have time to think of something. This is just a 4 month relationship so far? Give it more time.
Author hoully81 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Posted July 6, 2015 I was at home but I was taking a nap. When I leave the house I always lock the house up. may have to do it when I am there too. In her defense she did text me saying she was coming over to pick the stuff up but I was sleeping and did not get it. I think she just rang the doorbell and let herself in? I don't think I will make a big deal of it unless it happens again. She does only live like 5 minutes from me so I cant let that become a habit.
Gary S Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 You had sex with a woman in your bed all weekend and you are worried about her coming into your house unannounced to get her stuff? I mean you already risked disease and unplanned pregnancy... don't you think it's a little late to be worried at this point? Heck, it's probably time she had a key anyway. I think you are still on the rebound from your divorce and a little paranoid. 1
Author hoully81 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Posted July 6, 2015 Gary, Its not that I had nothing to hide but its more about personal space. Even when I was married I expected my personal space "the bathroom" which I locked and I expected someone to get permission to enter. Now that I am single I see my personal space as my entire house as nobody else lives there except me and my kids half the time. Science has gone a long way with birth control for women and Vasectomy and condoms for men. But yes there is still a chance for pregnancy and disease but far from getting a key to my house.
yxalitis Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 As far as knowing if she has long term potential? - that's something you judge over time. See how things go for the next year-and-a-half. I thought you determined that based on whether she kissed on the first date... Sorry, couldn't help myself!
kendahke Posted July 7, 2015 Posted July 7, 2015 I think you are still on the rebound from your divorce and a little paranoid. Exactly. Anyone who is recently divorced is still in rebound mode, no matter how vigorously they argue against it. 1
Author hoully81 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 I would admit that i am in rebound mode as my divorce was hard for me. I am slowly relaizing the "perfect" family i had is no longer there and i need to move in with my life. I am keeping the current relationship from progressing any farther for awhile as i do reliaze i just came out of a long relationship. She is not meeting my kids or living with me until i feel i am ready
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 I would admit that i am in rebound mode as my divorce was hard for me. I am slowly relaizing the "perfect" family i had is no longer there and i need to move in with my life. I am keeping the current relationship from progressing any farther for awhile as i do reliaze i just came out of a long relationship. She is not meeting my kids or living with me until i feel i am ready I hope you will tell this woman. 2
kendahke Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) I would admit that i am in rebound mode as my divorce was hard for me. I am slowly relaizing the "perfect" family i had is no longer there and i need to move in with my life. I am keeping the current relationship from progressing any farther for awhile as i do reliaze i just came out of a long relationship. She is not meeting my kids or living with me until i feel i am ready You are being patently unfair to her and very selfish. How long do you expect for her to wait for you to get through with this? Months? Years? Why should she put her life on hold and not want to progress into a deeper involvement, which is the natural course of all relationships? They either grow or they die... nothing lives in the vacuum of suspended animation. You should not be in any relationship except an agreed upon FWB until you've cleared this hurdle. You don't have to be in a relationship, period, except with your children right now. Edited July 9, 2015 by kendahke 1
Author hoully81 Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Kendahke, I believe I may have explained myself wrong. When I say I am not letting it progress. I am letting it progress obviously from what I have posted. I am just taking it slow in some aspects like my children as I don't want them involved in any drama if we don't work out for whatever reason. My kids are 15 and 10 and are very smart kids and I don't want to harm them emotionally at these important years of there life. I have met her kid which is only 3 and I have met her mom and several of her family members. So I guess I would say I am letting it progress and I think the next step would be to meet my kids to see where that would take us but I do not see any rush into that right now as I feel like we need to grow our relationship between us before I work on a relationship with my kids. We have really only been seeing each other for 3-4 months so I would say we are progressing at a reasonable speed and I do not feel like I have her on hold. She knows I just got out of a long relationship and I was very hurt over my divorce. Its a process of getting over it and will probably never get over it the rest of my life as I wanted my kids to grow up in a family all intact. Hopefully one day I will look back at my divorce and say I am glad I did go thru that because I am happier for it now. I am already happy about the no arguing with my ex and when I am with this new girl I don't have all the water under the bridge as I did in my marriage and there is little stress. I am not an idiot and I do realize we do not have all the day to day responsibilities on the same plate either. Thanks for comment though Kendahke.
kendahke Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 That's nice and all, but a rebound relationship is still a rebound relationship and will be until you've resolved your issues with your ex... She knows I just got out of a long relationship and I was very hurt over my divorce. Its a process of getting over it and will probably never get over it the rest of my life and a recent divorce says that you haven't resolved anything and that this is a rebound relationship you're in. I feel like we need to grow our relationship between us before I work on a relationship with my kids. I think you need to rephrase that. Working on your relationship with your children should be your #1 goal right now, not trying to make sure you've got some kitty.
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