Tuutuu22 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 We started dating in September 2014. The first couple of months were amazing. The past couple of months have been rough. We argue often and often it's me getting upset with him. We broke up a month ago from today because he thought I was on an app tinder when in reality my friends re-activated my account out of curiosity and one of his friends saw my profile. He broke up with me and didn't even let me explain. I wished him the best and left then a day and a half later he called me and wanted to hear what I had to say. Once I explained he asked for me back, I made him wait a few days because even before that we were having arguments. One argument was he wouldn't let me go to my friends prom as a favor but he went to the Bahamas over spring break. BUT it was ok because he planned that trip before we dated. I'm not stuck in the past I'm just giving examples. Recently our problems include him asking me to go with him to a party then he ended up not wanting me to go with him because the last party I drank too much and he didn't like how I acted. We've been to many parties together I sip to socialize. Only one time I drank too much. I took it as he didn't bring me because he isn't proud to have me. Last night we got into another argument because I asked him who a girl was that he followed on instagram and he said I was trying to control him. I re-assured him I was just asking a question and I wouldn't ever try to control him. Long tory short last night he told me He feels he can't be himself around me any more because I nit-pick at everything he does. I felt terrible. Then he told me our conversations sucked lately and there was no spark there. My eyes filled up, I thought he was breaking up with me again. He said he wasn't and I asked him why he wasn't breaking up with me and he said because we have such good memories and he knows we can be that way again. I personally feel I get upset with him a lot. Sometimes it's unreasonable I will admit. I got mad a couple days ago because he was on the phone texting for a while when we were eating and I told him it was rude and "I don't hangout with you to be on our phones". I know he puts his guard up around me and I hate it its my fault. Every time I leave or he drops me off he asks if I'm mad at him for any reason because every time I was I usually said it after wards. This kid is my first love but I feel so worthless and like such a mess up. I don't know what to do. I know I can nit pick less and that will make him happier but I'm so broken from things that have been said I don't know what to do. Please help
Keenly Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 he thought I was on an app tinder when in reality my friends re-activated my account out of curiosity. If you are telling us the truth, doesn't that sound a little fishy? Your friend activated your account ? he asked for me back, I made him wait. May I ask why you did this? Some one who is afraid of losing some one doesn't make them wait to punish them. One argument was he wouldn't let me go to my friends prom as a favor but he went to the Bahamas over spring break. BUT it was ok because he planned that trip before we dated. Is it he wouldn't let you go to prom, or was this favor that another guy asked you to be his date to prom? If it's the former, he is insane. If it's the latter, could you see why that would bother him? Recently our problems include him asking me to go with him to a party then he ended up not wanting me to go with him because the last party I drank too much and he didn't like how I acted. We've been to many parties together I sip to socialize. Only one time I drank too much. If this is true then he is just being stupid. Last night we got into another argument because I asked him who a girl was that he followed on instagram and he said I was trying to control him. I re-assured him I was just asking a question and I wouldn't ever try to control him. Long tory short last night he told me He feels he can't be himself around me any more because I nit-pick at everything he does. Alright, now we are getting into some real red flags here. You asked a simple question, and do you see how quickly he flipped it around on you? Defensiveness like that shows an attempt to distract, to keep the attention off of himself, and put it on you. He wants you to second guess yourself. Then he told me our conversations sucked lately and there was no spark there. My eyes filled up, I thought he was breaking up with me again. Quite the eloquent one we have here. Is this relationship really enjoyable? Do you love him, or do you love the idea of him? It sounds like this guy complains about you not letting him be himself, but who is really on eggshells here? It isn't him.
Author Tuutuu22 Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 Is this relationship really enjoyable? Do you love him, or do you love the idea of him? It sounds like this guy complains about you not letting him be himself, but who is really on eggshells here? It isn't him. My friend asked me to go to prom with him because he didn't have a date. I grew up with this kid and my boyfriend wouldn't let me go. He said "how am i supposed to feel seeing another guys arms around you." I made him wait till we got back together because I didn't want him thinking it was something he can do often and i'd take him back immediately. My mom said the same thing, that he is turning it around. I don't know what keeps me with him. Sometimes I do have such amazing times with him. I love when he does do nice things and I love being a good girlfriend. I just don't know if all this is my fault or his. I don't know what to do I just know for some reason I'm not ready to let go.
Keenly Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 I just don't know if all this is my fault or his. It is neither the fault of the oil, nor that of the water. They just don't go together.
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