ScrappinSpanky Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Hi everyone! I've been "off of the market" for about 5 years and I'm finally getting back into the swing of dating. I met this seemingly wonderful guy online (through a personal ad)and we talked almost every day for about six weeks before we finally met two weeks ago. Things seem pretty wonderful. We've been on three great dates, we get along wonderfully, and he either calls or emails just about every day, if only to let me know that he's thinking about me. Here's my quandary: I'm thinking about sleeping with him, and I see that he's still "active" on the personal site so I'm pretty sure that things aren't exclusive. I don't want to call him on it because I don't want to be a "naggy girlfriend", especially if I'm not his girlfriend. But, I want to know where things stand before I go all the way with this dude. Is there a tactful way to find out now or should I just keep waiting and see what happens? And if I do wait, should I tell him WHY I'm waiting? Thanks in advance for your help!
ConfusedInOC Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by ScrappinSpanky I'm thinking about sleeping with him, and I see that he's still "active" on the personal site so I'm pretty sure that things aren't exclusive. I don't want to call him on it because I don't want to be a "naggy girlfriend", especially if I'm not his girlfriend. But, I want to know where things stand before I go all the way with this dude. Is there a tactful way to find out now or should I just keep waiting and see what happens? And if I do wait, should I tell him WHY I'm waiting? Thanks in advance for your help! As with any relationship, communication is the key. Tell him your interest level and ask what his plans are. If he won't delete his profile, then that probably tells you where his interest lies. To me, it'd be no problem to delete if the feelings are mutual, but if not...well, there's your answer. Being upfront and honest is the only way to go.
KissMyTiara Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by ScrappinSpanky I'm thinking about sleeping with him, and I see that he's still "active" on the personal site so I'm pretty sure that things aren't exclusive. I don't want to call him on it because I don't want to be a "naggy girlfriend", especially if I'm not his girlfriend. But, I want to know where things stand before I go all the way with this dude. Is there a tactful way to find out now or should I just keep waiting and see what happens? And if I do wait, should I tell him WHY I'm waiting? Unfortunately, I think it's unlikely that he's going to delete before you sleep with him. But I do agree with Confused (I hate that!) to the extent that honesty is the way to go, and you should at least have an open and frank discussion about where things are headed before you decide to head to the bedroom.
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