mightycpa Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Your EX is immature bordering on unstable. Saying she will dump a drink on the woman if she sees you on a date could be considered criminal if she actually does it. Unless, of course, it lands on a well-filled T-Shirt. Then it could be quite exciting!
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Unless, of course, it lands on a well-filled T-Shirt. Then it could be quite exciting! You're being terrible. I wish there was a dislike button.
Author drade Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 HELP! I AM FREAKING the **** out. We have a lot of mutual friends. One of my friends sent me a snapchat of her and my ex swimming, drinking, having a blast watching fireworks on the beach. And another good guy friend of mine, or so i thouhgt, is there, handing her drinks and ****. Why did I have to see this. I was doing so good. I unfriended both of those mutual "friends" and blocked them all on snapchat. What else do I do. I'm very upset
54JA Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 I'm sorry that you had to see it. What I did when I broke up was I told everyone, my family and friends, that I did not want to know anything about my ex. I told them not to tell me any news about him. I told them not to mention him at all even in passing. Maybe you can tell your friends that you are trying to move on and need to be completely cut off from any news about her. About what to do about your emotion right now: I don't think there is anything you can do, except to just take it. You have to dig deep and come up with the strength to resist the urge to question what is going on/who the guy is. You got to use every ounce of strength you have to squash your curiosity and tell yourself, "it does not matter anymore!!!" Vent here, but resist the trap of obsessive thought. Good luck. Hang in there. 1
Author drade Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 She looked is happy. Like nothing was wrong so flirtatiously excited. And I'm over here in my bed obsessing. I'm trying so hard to forget about it and be there bigger person. This hurts I'm sorry that you had to see it. What I did when I broke up was I told everyone, my family and friends, that I did not want to know anything about my ex. I told them not to tell me any news about him. I told them not to mention him at all even in passing. Maybe you can tell your friends that you are trying to move on and need to be completely cut off from any news about her. About what to do about your emotion right now: I don't think there is anything you can do, except to just take it. You have to dig deep and come up with the strength to resist the urge to question what is going on/who the guy is. You got to use every ounce of strength you have to squash your curiosity and tell yourself, "it does not matter anymore!!!" Vent here, but resist the trap of obsessive thought. Good luck. Hang in there.
Thistooshallpass21 Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 Brother I'm going to tell you something one of my friends made me realize when it came to snapchats and social media when I was thinking the same...no one posts or send things of them being sad why would they? It's all an illusion pending on how long it's been odds are she's still thinking about you just as much. 1
54JA Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 I know I know. I am so sorry. There is just no way around the pain. Great job of not contacting her, btw. You can do this. Fight the obsession! Say to yourself "there is no point in finding out. It's over." Although I don't want you to think about it, if it makes it easier to get through tonight, know that a picture only captures a moment shorter than 1 second. Anyone can appear happy in a picture. Most people appear happier than they actually are in pictures. Not too many people show what they are truly feeling inside in a picture anyway. Try not to sweat it. I know it's difficult. Hang in there buddy! 1
SLee Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 She's manipulating because having you still love her gives her an ego boost. That bolded part sounded almost threatening. You're respecting her feelings, now it's time for her to respect yours. My ex wanted to be friends too and got incredibly angry when he realized it wasn't going to go his way and I was also a human being with my own feelings. No contact is your best option. 1
Author drade Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 There were about another 10 snapchats, including videos, but I didn't open them, it would have done more harm than good. I can't believe one of my good guy friends is just hanging out with her. I know they have been friends for a long time, and at one point he wanted her, but she's never wanted him... He even told me I shouldn't trust her, but that was just because he was jealous in reality.. I just want to text him and say, hey, i thought we were good friends, but I don't feel your respecting my feelings, nor do I think you'd really care. In reality, I can't send that to him. Why? Because that creates more drama, and that's all this breakup has been, DRAMA. Am I the bigger person, am I actually making progress, will I feel better in time? She seems so happy go lucky, all week she's been on vacation going out and going things. I on the other hand, wake up and go to bed thinking about a girl I had a five month relationship with... And I was the bad guy, the one who made a decision that ended up ruining what whe had. I hate myself.
54JA Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 I'm so sorry. That's the thing with staying in the loop. When you think it's can't get any worse, then boom! Another uppercut to your chin. I know. When I learned that my ex went to movies with one of my friends (so I thought), it felt like double betrayal, even though I had no right to stop them. This is just another one of the many hurdles in our journey. But it seems you are making all the right moves towards your healing. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you buddy!
candie13 Posted July 3, 2015 Posted July 3, 2015 worst thing you can do is to hold in all inside and think about it in circles ! Best thing you can possibly do is to go out, meet people, talk to your friends, relate to people, meet new girls and party. You cannot sit in your room and feel sorry for yourself. It's ok, everyone does stupid stupid things and that is not the most stupid or horrible thing you could have done. Cut yourself some slack, you're alright. Now pull yourself together and get back there ! Either just talk to your family and close friends or get out and get drunk. But MOVE. Get busy, you're late !!!
mightycpa Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 HELP! I AM FREAKING the **** out. We have a lot of mutual friends. One of my friends sent me a snapchat of her and my ex swimming, drinking, having a blast watching fireworks on the beach. And another good guy friend of mine, or so i thouhgt, is there, handing her drinks and ****. Why did I have to see this. I was doing so good. I unfriended both of those mutual "friends" and blocked them all on snapchat. What else do I do. I'm very upsetYou're young, and you are now experiencing the most unfortunate part about the technology age... the inability to get away. You could be one mile away from that scene, or halfway across the globe, and it can find you... in high-def living color. It might not be a bad idea to gather your closest friends together and get them to send out the word far and wide that you would appreciate it if the topic of "her" is off-limits unless you bring it up... that you don't want to know, not because you hate her, but because you want to forget about her as quickly as possible. You're going to be surprised at how ****ty some people can be, and you'll also be surprised at how supportive some people will be. Neither group will be who you expect. Then there will be the clueless ones. As to how your ex will behave when she sees you out with someone? You can't control that, nor can you be responsible for whatever she might do. You can't fear it either, so you might as well laugh about it until it happens, with all due respect to D0nnivain. People talk **** all the time, and most don't follow through. You cannot worry about what might happen. The bottom line for you is that this isn't going to be easy even if you never hear a peep about her again. It never has been and it never will be. You're going to find out what you're made of, and all you can hope for is that you have the strength and good sense to deal with this in a healthy way. Enlist the help of your friends and I'm sure most will come to your aid. And get ready for the ride, it's going to be long and bumpy.
Author drade Posted July 4, 2015 Author Posted July 4, 2015 This is great. Thank you. I want to thank all of you for your support, opinions, and advice. I'm actually feeling really good five days into strict NC, especially that I have all portals of her closed. I'm actually kind of happy and optimistic. I'm a 23 year old male nurse, I have a great family and good small group of friends. I'm not a scum bag I just made a very poor decision. I have learned so much and can't wait to learn and move forward. I do miss her, but as every hour passes, my memories and thoughts begin to fade. Once the 4th is over, I'll be in even better shape (I have to work tonight). I may had made a mistake, and act of betrayal, but I'm not going to let that define who I am. This is my first, and last poor decision I'll ever make in a relationship. What a great learning experience. But I've lost a great girl. However, her true colors after the relationship, the games, the teasing and slight threats, make me believe she is someone I'm not the most compatible with right now. Maybe in the future we can reconcile and potentially rekindle our relationship. But in not hopeful, and I'm not going to think like that. There are always possibilities. In the meantime, I'm going to really spend time with fiends and family, try to go on some dates soon, and explore, something I've never done before. I will come back to this forum when I feel I'm ready to. I'll bring this thread back to life and keep you all updated. I want others to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you loveshack for helping me realize my self worth, and helping me forgive myself. You're young, and you are now experiencing the most unfortunate part about the technology age... the inability to get away. You could be one mile away from that scene, or halfway across the globe, and it can find you... in high-def living color. It might not be a bad idea to gather your closest friends together and get them to send out the word far and wide that you would appreciate it if the topic of "her" is off-limits unless you bring it up... that you don't want to know, not because you hate her, but because you want to forget about her as quickly as possible. You're going to be surprised at how ****ty some people can be, and you'll also be surprised at how supportive some people will be. Neither group will be who you expect. Then there will be the clueless ones. As to how your ex will behave when she sees you out with someone? You can't control that, nor can you be responsible for whatever she might do. You can't fear it either, so you might as well laugh about it until it happens, with all due respect to D0nnivain. People talk **** all the time, and most don't follow through. You cannot worry about what might happen. The bottom line for you is that this isn't going to be easy even if you never hear a peep about her again. It never has been and it never will be. You're going to find out what you're made of, and all you can hope for is that you have the strength and good sense to deal with this in a healthy way. Enlist the help of your friends and I'm sure most will come to your aid. And get ready for the ride, it's going to be long and bumpy.
Recommended Posts