Krieger Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I will be honest I am very shallow and want to be less shallow. I feel I am to hung up on looks and will not give a female the time of day if she not attractive enough. I have a few things I look for in a woman she must appeal my senses as well. She must have a cute face it a most NO if and or buys about it.She cant not have cankles or elephant feetmust smell niceher voice cant be to loud or have a mouse voiceshe can not be bigger than me it look wrong IMO How does one not get hung up on looks yes there matter but other things are important too.
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Attraction is part of dating & coupling up. If you aren't attracted or turned on by someone, it will be tough to date them. If you are excluding people from your friends' circle, refusing to interact with people or worse being affirmatively mean to them based on looks that is a problem. Wanting to think your GF is cute doesn't strike me as being overly hun up on looks.
deadelvis Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I agree. Long term it will be an issue if you aren't attracted to her. Looks will fade, but being attracted to someone from the start, will keep the attraction alive. 1
Author Krieger Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 I agree. Long term it will be an issue if you aren't attracted to her. Looks will fade, but being attracted to someone from the start, will keep the attraction alive. I just find my self always looking for a more attrtive girl once I all ready have a cute girl interested.
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I just find my self always looking for a more attrtive girl once I all ready have a cute girl interested. That's GIGs. While there is an element of shallowness to it, wanting to trade up is a different vice. When I was in college I loved the thrill of the chase. The minute some guy (usually a player who every woman said couldn't be tamed & who wouldn't settle down) tried to have a relationship with me I was outta there because that wasn't what I wanted. It certainly wasn't kind or healthy but it was college so hopefully like me you will eventually grow out of it. 2
Author Krieger Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 That's GIGs. While there is an element of shallowness to it, wanting to trade up is a different vice. When I was in college I loved the thrill of the chase. The minute some guy (usually a player who every woman said couldn't be tamed & who wouldn't settle down) tried to have a relationship with me I was outta there because that wasn't what I wanted. It certainly wasn't kind or healthy but it was college so hopefully like me you will eventually grow out of it. Why do woman have to come out of the woodwork's once a girl is dating a guy or seen around with a guy ? Another issue is most of the woman I want are taken. Also the woman I am interested in or not interested in me. The woman I dated in the past where more interested in my then I am of them.
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 They don't really come out of the woodwork. You are just in a better place emotionally & you see them more. It only seems like they come out of the woodwork. It's more that you are happy so like attracts like. If they are taken let them be. How do you know the women you are attracted to are not attracted to you? Also what exactly do you mean the ones you do date are more interested in you then you are in them? If that is a repeated pattern & especially if you feel like you are putting some women in place as your GF/ companion just to avoid being alone, or because you are horny, stop. Spend some more time being alone and happy then you will attract the person who is supposed to be there. This is a bit kooky but when I was single I read a bunch of self help books about meeting people. One suggested writing love letters to your future partner. Write a dated letter talking about who the other person is & things you will do together (basically dream on paper), seal it in an envelope & put it away. Eventually that person will show up in your life to read them. I gave the letters to DH after we got home from our Honeymoon. I hadn't read them since I wrote them & stopped writing a few months before I met him. He was blown away by how perfectly most of the letters spoke directly to him. 1
Author Krieger Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 They don't really come out of the woodwork. You are just in a better place emotionally & you see them more. It only seems like they come out of the woodwork. It's more that you are happy so like attracts like. If they are taken let them be. There is no harm in looking IMO. How do you know the women you are attracted to are not attracted to you? Also what exactly do you mean the ones you do date are more interested in you then you are in them? If that is a repeated pattern & especially if you feel like you are putting some women in place as your GF/ companion just to avoid being alone, or because you are horny, stop. Spend some more time being alone and happy then you will attract the person who is supposed to be there. This is a bit kooky but when I was single I read a bunch of self help books about meeting people. One suggested writing love letters to your future partner. Write a dated letter talking about who the other person is & things you will do together (basically dream on paper), seal it in an envelope & put it away. Eventually that person will show up in your life to read them. I gave the letters to DH after we got home from our Honeymoon. I hadn't read them since I wrote them & stopped writing a few months before I met him. He was blown away by how perfectly most of the letters spoke directly to him. The woman I like will not give me the time of day so that how I know.Well I have had woman chase me but I just did not find the that attractive but went out with them any way.
jen1447 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 She must have a cute face it a most NO if and or buys about it. Krieger you're killing me with these nonsense sentences. Maybe try a quick proof-read before you hit submit? 1
loveweary11 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 The first thing you need to do is... .....um ....?? Na, I won't even try.
Author Krieger Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 Krieger you're killing me with these nonsense sentences. Maybe try a quick proof-read before you hit submit? yea i know i need to proof read things . It just my brain is alway at 100 MPH and every one else is going 60 MPH.
Redhead14 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I will be honest I am very shallow and want to be less shallow. I feel I am to hung up on looks and will not give a female the time of day if she not attractive enough. I have a few things I look for in a woman she must appeal my senses as well. She must have a cute face it a most NO if and or buys about it.She cant not have cankles or elephant feetmust smell niceher voice cant be to loud or have a mouse voiceshe can not be bigger than me it look wrong IMO How does one not get hung up on looks yes there matter but other things are important too. You cannot really control what attracts you to a person. Either it's working for you or it's not. That being said though, if you are attracted to a cute face attached to a woman who is a little bit heavy, do you totally discount her then? Maybe you just talk to her and see how she makes you feel. Just give it a quick chance anyway. Nothing to lose really.
KatZee Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 yea i know i need to proof read things . It just my brain is alway at 100 MPH and every one else is going 60 MPH. I actually think your brain is going 60 MPH while your fingers go 100 MPH. You have to be attracted to the person you date. Point blank, that's it. But if you're always looking to trade up once you have something, you're entering an entirely different ball game. Fear of missing out. Instant gratification. The next best thing. These are all themes of this generation. Everyone wants perfection, they want it now. Once they have something, how easy is it to trade up for something newer and shinier? The newest cell phone, the newest TV, the newest car, the newest piece of technology. It only makes sense it would extend to people. These days, people are expendable, interchangable. I find that most people don't put in the work to actually see if a genuine relationship develops, they just see some flaw, automatically jump to: I can do better. And the cycle goes on and on. I think that's what your focus should be on. Not the fact that you need to be attracted to someone. 2
Phoe Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Perhaps try just interacting with a variety of women, with no intentions of dating. Just chat with them, about all sorts of things. You'll probably meet some pretty cool people that are pretty fun to be around, and none of it will have been about looks or dating.
ascendotum Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 I will be honest I am very shallow and want to be less shallow. I feel I am to hung up on looks and will not give a female the time of day if she not attractive enough. Personally I can't stand that attitude in women, where they have selective personalities with other people based on how attractive or how much status the other person has. As long as those women (and they tend to be attractive) can get the guy's they want, they don't care if they are shallow. Is it a problem for you being shallow? My guess is, its reducing your options a fair bit...yes?
changeofseasons Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 For me, i had to be burned a few times to look past looks, but i feel like your list isnt over the top and would be easy to find. Expectations really puts a damper on things.
Author Krieger Posted July 2, 2015 Author Posted July 2, 2015 Perhaps try just interacting with a variety of women, with no intentions of dating. Just chat with them, about all sorts of things. You'll probably meet some pretty cool people that are pretty fun to be around, and none of it will have been about looks or dating. I have been doing that seeing that most of my classes are 90% woman . I have however noticed when I am like BS with woman other woman notice and want to talk to me.
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