No Foolin Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 I would like to think that the people on loveshack are some of the most caring and sensitive people out here, in the wide world of the web. A common theme rings here "pain and suffering". Yes, we are all looking for some type of eye in the storm, but I got to tell you: If you think that somebody else is going to take that pain away............WRONG!!!!! Listen, nobody is going to save you. That is the key to your survival. When we can put the pipe down and admit that these are the times when you really need to pull over to the side of the road and get real about: love, relationships, the things they did wrong, the things you did wrong, then you are making progress. There no no need, none, to analyze phone messages, letters, e-mail, smoke signals, telex, pony express. All this does is put some mental crack into your game and you are off and running to nowhere. The problem is you. The problem is me. You can't go home. Why would you want to? This is where you are, right here right now, real time. You are alone and this is the key to everything. Solitude, taking a break from your pipe dreams. Learning to deal with yourself and all its beautiful and ugly grandure is the order of the day. In the business, the best therapists all seek counseling, why? Because, until they can deal with their own sh*t, they can't deal with others or get them past the place where they are stuck. Need to do the same kids. Your ex is an ex for a reason. You are where you are for a reason. Don't be a coward because you can't sit in your pad and deal with yourself.......Your not going to die. Clarity costs, if you are unwilling to pay the price, then you will get what you deserve (that could be a good or bad thing). If you think that that your relationship was a roses, white pants and shirts, prancing in the tall grass, and flying kites then you wouldn't be here. You all have the potential to be what you need, but you have to open the door. Nobody will do that for you. Its always been YOU!!!! No Foolin
alphamale Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 Originally posted by No Foolin You all have the potential to be what you need, I disagree, some do and some don't. most don't.
Author No Foolin Posted May 1, 2005 Author Posted May 1, 2005 lol, alpha...... Some truth to that. Potential is like deodorant, everybody has it, but if you don't use it, it ain't gonna freaking work, lol. No Foolin
RecordProducer Posted May 2, 2005 Posted May 2, 2005 We all know that, but often we don't know what to do. Anger from the past, emotional bagagge, fears, insecurities, unclear signals from our partners, loneliness, pain, uncertain future, etc. make us wonder where we really stand and which path to choose. It's not so easy and we just need some insight from aside, sometimes support, sometimes advice. You're right, we are WE and we'll act according to our characters. We'll take different actions for one problem, but what we have in common is that we all feel hurt once in a while. I disagree that we're all necessarily caring and sensitive. There are characters on LS that we'd consider "negative" in our own lives. Furthermore, we only see the vulnerable side of people here. And finally it costs us nothing to be caring in our opinions towards total strangers.
iwishiknewthen Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 yes its all up to us. but isnt that why we come here? to help ourselves get stronger? its a resource available to us we decided to take. its just a fraction of something we can do to get through and cope till we can hopefully go beyond merely coping and can feel fully receptive again and be genuinely happy. but coping is always the first step, towards healing ..recovery. if youre really in love with someone i think, there is no replacing that love. just shifting to new beliefs and strongholds...so that you might feel fully alive again and let new love in. i am just trying to survive at this point, but i miss the passion that motivated me and and i wonder about what could have been..with my ex. but realizing that is truly over and being realistic that i wasnt important enough for that person to endure with and grow together.. ...i only now get through one day at a time with work and hope. and pray lots on the darkest of days. glad to have a forum that helps remind me i am not alone in the grand scheme of things in the struggle. but it does come down to an individual struggle we ourselves have to deal with and overcome. the best way we know how....
Nara Posted May 4, 2005 Posted May 4, 2005 I agree with RecordProducer and iwishiknewthen. And I have realized, how important it is to share, to open up, everything you can get off your chest is less weight and seeing others dealing with the same dramas, pains, fears is like feeling not that alone. I could wallow in my bed, being emotionally dead, not even able to cry, refusing the traumas and pain by just sleeping all day and all night, could get drunk, could bottle it all up and wait for serious physical side-effects...all that, and I have done it (except getting drunk...) but ffs, I don't want that !, I have no choice, have to deal with most of it and as I can't switch myself on or off, I have to take small steps, the big, big ones might make me stumble. Moving my *ss and starting to open myself up here, reading others and responding to others, not feeling like the only hurt and weight-carrying in this whole wide world is a help. To me very personally, it is a great, big little thing that I am here, that I see others, that I get up early in the morning, do things in the garden, get outside, talk and write. I'm coming back, still am stuck a bit, but I move and somehow I do have the feeling, that this forum is good for me. I am in need and I have to give. And one little word here sometimes is such soul-food...
Author No Foolin Posted May 5, 2005 Author Posted May 5, 2005 validation is great but I think y'all will notice that a good 70% of all of those on the coping board are looking for real world answers to get through the night. "hey I understand you hurt" doesn't seem to work for the damaged masses at 3am. At 3am hopelessness does not want to here "I feel you". Thats like telling someone who is drowning in a swimming pool "hey it will be ok"; Then showing them your pack of Mentos (the fresh maker). Rather, I am and will continue to tell people, remind them "hey you can swim, you did it before, you can do it again" or I'll remind them to just "stand up", like now. Coping and survival require minute to minute answers. Thats what I do my best to give. RecordProducer if we all knew that we had childhood issues this coping board would be as dead as Chris Farley. And yes YOU will act according to your character, but the simple act of being here and looking for answers on this board shows that your character is looking for change. You dwell on pain, pain is what you'll get. You dwell on beating back your demons and the things that break you in the night and little by little you will take back the night. You dwell on your ex and you victimize yourself, you are still making choices for a ghost that doesn't give a rats a** about you; I don't see any other way to look at this. You dwell on yourself and you give purpose that will wake you up in the morning. Thats my message. Wash/rinse/repeat. giving someone a Hallmark card "you'll be ok" when they are asking for help is like putting a house fire out with a spray bottle Not gonna get that from me, I'll actually help you. Tough, sober love is better than none at all. No Foolin
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 Not gonna get that from me, I'll actually help you. Tough, sober love is better than none at all. No Foolin You're the best No Foolin'. Everybody who needs some help is lucky to have ya reply post on their thread.
RecordProducer Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by No Foolin RecordProducer if we all knew that we had childhood issues this coping board would be as dead as Chris Farley. And yes YOU will act according to your character, but the simple act of being here and looking for answers on this board shows that your character is looking for change. Not necessarily. People want information. They want to see if their problems look different from another perspective. It's good to seek advice when you feel down. We are communicative creatures and love helping each other and asking for help. I don't see how staying alone with your biased attitudes can be more constructive. Nobody can tell you what to do and how to feel, but talk helps.
Author No Foolin Posted May 5, 2005 Author Posted May 5, 2005 House full of crickets for that reply recordproducer I saw you were just on..........I could see this coming a mile away. Am I biased HELL YES I AM. take a look around at these posts this evening. These people aren't sitting hear with wine and finger sandwiches, measuring who's issues are worse or looking for a "thats ok" they are looking for away to get through the night. -Never said getting info was bad. -never said communication was bad. Maybe if you would actually read my posts you could see that 80% of what we both are trying to convey are basically the same. HHHHEEEELLLLOOOOO. P.S. Are you freinds with d'artez, lol No Foolin
RecordProducer Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 You sound like you're on something pretty strong!
iwishiknewthen Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 i like your red pill no foolin and i really do wish i had a prescription for it months and months ago. good info. i have never posted my problem here and someday i know i will have to ...this is something i have to do for (as you say) myself . (so i can purge) i will take your pill. (as best i can) but someday i am going to vent and purge the remains of this other pill i feel he shoved down my throat so unexpectedly. i choked, but i didnt die. there are days i feel i can choke to death. but mainly i am just sore from reaction i had to it. the shock it put my system in...the side effects still remain some. and i do resent the nature of how there was no regard for how it sickened me. but because i want to heal fully, and as a measure of the healing process, i will have to purge the rest of this, poison he fed me. this forum is a good place for that. i dont want any contraindications so you have to get the old pill out of your system. and dilute it too with knowing others understand this too. but i know in my heart of hearts ...in the end....your prescription ....is a good antidote!! and really a good strong prescription for wellness. thanks for the blessing of words i can always turn to in my favorite places when the old pill gives me random flashbacks, that turn to pain. i know in the end this too shall pass. armed with others cheering you on (the way you seem to be trying to do for us) : ) and confirming what i already know to be true... i will take that red pill...till the side effects from the other pill (boy he was a pill hehe) completely wear off. : )
Author No Foolin Posted May 5, 2005 Author Posted May 5, 2005 Yes, your powers of observation are uncanny, I am on something strong. I just picked up this great drug at Wal-Mart called REALITY (you might want to go pick some up). If you dig happy, pollyanna threads, where we sit and focus our chi together; you bought a ticket to the wrong movie. Happy to disappoint. No Foolin
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