freebird31 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) I finally got the closure that i had always needed. I have heard MANY people tell me that closure comes from within. And i agree, but I really think that I needed this extra push to finally move me in the right direction...for good. About one year ago, I reached out to my ex for the first time after our break up. We have been broken up for a little over two years now. In this letter, I spilled my heart out to him and basically told him that I forgave him and that he meant a lot to me. During this time, I truly only wanted my ex back more than anything. The letter was really just me crying out for his love. He responded with a short and abrupt response. It had broken me because I knew I deserved much more than this response. It was a short and cold response. This whole time, I have been going not only emotionally, but MENTALLY mad. And I just have not truly felt at peace. At first, it was because I could not piece together why my ex seemed to care immensely for me during the relationship, and suddenly discarded me out of his life like it was no big deal. It hurt. I have held these emotions intact for quite some time. Always just wondering why, why, why. I jsut needed an explanation, I just needed peace. And aside from that, it drove me insane that I let him think he was off the hook, like i forgave him, and in the end he sent me a short and cold response. It didnt seem fair at all to me, or right. I let him walk away with all this power, and it has felt wrong every day since. Everyone has told me that "closure comes from within." And I believe this to be true. But i have let my ex take control and have power over my life for quite some time now. Too long if you ask me. So last week, I decided to take control back. I wrote him, in what will be the last letter that I will ever send him. The letter was not meant to be heartfelt, angry, or emotional. The letter was me letting him know that what he did to me, how he broke up with me, and what he responded to me was not okay. This whole entire year I have let my ex believe that I forgave him. But I was not being true to myself when i sent him the first letter one year ago. I felt like he should know how he made me feel, whether he cares or not. And let me tell you, this has been the best decision that I have ever made. I carefully wrote out this letter, and made sure to not make it overly emotional. This letter was my final closure. And if he apologized or even replied, that would have even been better. As of now, one week later, he has not replied. And I dont expect him too. I dont really care anymore if he replies because this letter has finally let me say everything I have ever needed to say to him, everything that I have been holding in. And i would say that I went about it in a mature and calm manner. Yet, no reply. As of now, he is not my friend, we are not "cool" with one another. Him ignoring my message tells me that he does not care what I have to say and therefor does not respect me as a person. It is okay because I just needed him to know how I felt. I have never felt better. And although I would have liked if we ended on good terms, it is 100% okay. I have never felt this at peace in all the 2 years that we have been broken up. I feel like a big weight has finally been graciously lifted off my chest. I feel the best I have ever felt in the last two years. He now know how i truly feel, how much he hurt me and how I do not think it was okay at all. I feel empowered. And happy, and like I can move on to the next step in my life. Edited July 1, 2015 by freebird31 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I wrote him, in what will be the last letter that I will ever send him. The letter was not meant to be heartfelt, angry, or emotional. The letter was me letting him know that what he did to me, how he broke up with me, and what he responded to me was not okay. This whole entire year I have let my ex believe that I forgave him. But I was not being true to myself when i sent him the first letter one year ago. I felt like he should know how he made me feel, whether he cares or not. I thought this was what was in your previous letter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 Anyway I hope this feeling will last for you. Remember feelings always go in waves 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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