EricaH329 Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I've already posted about my situation, and now I need further advice. I currently live half a country away from my family. Due to depression, and in need of support, i've decided to move back home with family and friends. My issue right now is that I have a boyfriend that i'm leaving. I don't know whether to spend this time with him, or to separate myself from him. He's supportive in my decision to move, but I just don't know whether spending the time that's left with him will be beneficial to either of us. On one hand, spending the time with him will allow us both the comfort of eachother for the last time. On the other hand, maybe separating from him would make it easier to leave without even more unnecessary sadness. I'm so torn. I need advice!
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Spend the time with him. You are not breaking up because anything is fundamentally wrong with the relationship but because you need to move. If circumstances later warrant this is the type of split that is the exception to the rule against dating an EX. Kindness will leave you with less regret in the long run. 1
Quiet Storm Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 I think you will be sad to leave him regardless, so why not enjoy each other before you go? I understand you want to protect yourself from the emotions of leaving, but by doing that you may rob yourself of a meaningful goodbye. I say make as many memories as you can, and then when you are apart you can look back with positive feelings in your heart (and not regrets).
Author EricaH329 Posted July 1, 2015 Author Posted July 1, 2015 Spend the time with him. Spend the time with him. You are not breaking up because anything is fundamentally wrong with the relationship but because you need to move. If circumstances later warrant this is the type of split that is the exception to the rule against dating an EX. Kindness will leave you with less regret in the long run. I think you will be sad to leave him regardless, so why not enjoy each other before you go? I understand you want to protect yourself from the emotions of leaving, but by doing that you may rob yourself of a meaningful goodbye. I say make as many memories as you can, and then when you are apart you can look back with positive feelings in your heart (and not regrets). I've been getting similar responses from friends and family. It's just already very difficult to leave, it hurts so much that I have to, I figured that spending time away from the one thing that would hurt so much to leave would make it easier. I'm not sleeping well at night. I wake up constantly sad that i'm leaving, and just wanting nothing more than to stay. But I know it's not the right decision.
preraph Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 You'll be busy getting ready to move, but be sure to see him right before you do.
Author EricaH329 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 So just to keep you all updated, i've been taking your advice and spending time with him. I find that at the end of the night, it makes it harder for me. We occasionally joke about me leaving and how i'll miss him, but when he isn't here, it's real to me. This is seriously one of the hardest things I have had to do.
preraph Posted July 5, 2015 Posted July 5, 2015 So sorry. Remember that if you two really care about each other, this doesn't have to be permanent. But right now, you have to concentrate on you. You can always visit him or he can come visit you. I hope someone is coming up there to be with you during the move back to your home for support, but I know people have to work and stuff. Keep us posted. I just hope you feel so much better once it's done. Sometimes deciding is the hardest part.
Author EricaH329 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Posted July 5, 2015 So sorry. Remember that if you two really care about each other, this doesn't have to be permanent. But right now, you have to concentrate on you. You can always visit him or he can come visit you. I hope someone is coming up there to be with you during the move back to your home for support, but I know people have to work and stuff. Keep us posted. I just hope you feel so much better once it's done. Sometimes deciding is the hardest part. This has resonated with me so much. Thank you for your response! I am aware that nothing is permanent, and i've expressed that with him. I think what's most difficult is the 'not knowing'. I don't know if this *is* the right decision or not. I'm just doing what my mind thinks is right, but i'm not in the right mind right now, so that makes it hard to cope, and even more difficult to clarify and define why i'm leaving to begin with. My mind is going back and forth, constantly, hoping for a definitive answer. But i'm just not coming to one.
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