She came back...

[grokcahsevol]

So for those who don't know my story, here it is really quick.

 

We were together for 9 years, I'm 26, shes 24. Before we were together, she was with a girl for about a year, who pretty much fu*ked with her emotions really hard at a young age and was part of why my "exs" mom and dad got divorced back about 10 years ago (I'm a guy BTW).

 

That girl recently started talking to my ex, and her emotions started to come back from back then.. she got so confused and told me she needs a "break" I gave it to her and went NC instantly, got all my stuff and blocked her on social media. Fast forward now.. My ex texted me saying "she needs me" "she needs to see me" she was very upset.. (I never broke contact, she did) so we met up and she cried and explained everything to me.. they were out on a date (the went on about 4 dates) and she told they hooked up ( I don't care.. for me it's in the past and all I care about is the future). Well this last date.. the girl started to be a "complete c*nt" to my ex and they got into a huge fight and almost a physical one (my other girl"friends") where with my ex so they stopped it and my ex went on saying "This is why nothing ever worked out, your so insecure with your self, and blah blah blah"

 

I knew she would come back..

 

NOW

 

I let her do the reaching out and contacting as she dumped me, and I'm willing to give her a 2nd chance because I truly love and adore her. However, I do have my guard up.

 

My main thing is.. how do I go about this now? She reached out to me asking what I was doing and I said "Nothing, lets go on a date" and she agreed. We went out and I slept over her place (we didn't do anything)

 

I'm not asking her how she feels, or not gonna go into "Are we exclusive" unless she brings it up, as she did dump me and I honestly have no idea how her emotions are.

 

We did talk and I did give her a kiss and she said "I dont want to be lovey dovey" kinda in a mean way and she said "I'm sorry" I said not to worry about it, she then said "I don't want to be babied" whatever that means?

 

either way, I woke up and told her I was leaving.. she gave me a kiss and said "I love you"

 

this was today.

 

I didn't contact her and she reached out and said would you like to go to the beach tomorrow and a concert on Thursday with our friends? I agreed I'd go with her.

 

I really don't want to mess anything up or upset her in anyway.. so how should I go about this? what about being sexual.. should I let her lead that on.. or should I be the man and do it? (before she dumped me, she always mentioned how we were never sexual.. this is because she never wanted to have sex with me a few months prior.. so I got used to it)

 

I was also NC for 2 weeks ( I know, not long) but she told me she cried every night and was with our friends most of the time. Our group of friends told me as well that this girl was a complete b*tch to my ex

 

I told my ex last night, that the past is the past for a reason, and she said "I know.. I just felt like it was unfinished business" then she said "Maybe I should go see my old therapist" I just wanted to say YES. YOU SHOULD.

 

 

Anyway, how do I go about this without screwing up?

 

Thanks

[yxalitis]

That's such a scattered, random post, I can't make head or tail of it.

 

You ex had a lesbian relationship when she was 15?

Her parents divorced because of this?

She went back to this lesbian relationship after breaking up with you?

They nearly had a physical fight, but other girls stopped that?

She reached out to you, you comforted her, stayed overnight, then I sort of lost track...

 

Try re-writing that entire post, start at the beginning, work your way through logically, ask you question at the end...

[aloneinaz]

I try to be an optimist, I really do. In this case, I only see pain and suffering for you in the near future. She's acting like a classic dumper. She moved onto someone else. It failed and she used you to comfort her. She wasn't happy the first time and dumped you. You weren't having sex either when you were together last?

 

 

Seriously, you need to really think this thru. She doesn't appear to really understand her sexuality at this point. Going back and forth between sexes should be a concern to you. The fact that she dumped you already should be a concern. What's really changed since you were last together?

 

 

Reconciliations rarely last any length and only cause a repeat of getting dumped and going thru all the break up BS again and again. Couple in that she's not sure about her sexuality, I simply can't see this working any length of time.

 

 

How should you handle this? Walk away and find someone new w/out all her baggage and drama. You're mental health will thank you.