Excise Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 (edited) Hey all, This is probably going to be a pretty substantial post, so I greatly appreciate anyone willing to read it through and help me out. Nothing you say will be too obvious for me, as I have no experience. Also, I do actually have two separate questions, where to start and specific advice about a certain girl, detailed below. To start out, I am a 21 year old working fast food part time while I take online classes at a local college. I am not attractive by any means, but never bullied in school. I would like to think I am pretty smart, but lazy and more importantly, shy. I, admittedly, play video games way too much, however, I love going out with my friends to movies, to eat, Frisbee golf, etc. when we are able to find a time that works. Because we all work random schedules, this isn't too often, and I fill a lot of my other time with gaming. With all of this considered, I have absolutely no experience in dating, and it's getting to that point in my life that I would like to start seeing someone and have no idea where to start because of this. I am so shy around new people, and have no friends who are female, with only a few good guy friends. This severely limits who I can talk to about this, so I found this website to turn to and ask. Seriously, you guys are great. The second part to this post, is about a certain girl that works at my restaurant. She is 25 or so, and yes, that's a pretty significant gap in our ages. However, she is cute, outgoing, and has a great personality. Problem is, she is a manager and "out of my league", nor do I know much outside of what I see/heard while working, about her. I just don't want to accept this though, as I have not felt so strongly about anyone else in my life. We talk a bit while working, and shes always just generally "goofy" around me one on one, while showing me how to do certain tasks, as I am new to this job. I feel it's because she has to as a manager and all, as well as its just how her personality is. I just can't help but feel there's more to it, and she may like me. This all ties back into me being really shy. I have no difficulty in asking her how things work, what to do when etc. about the job, but don't have the courage to talk further about things. It's probably also not a good idea to do that on the job, with a manager. So my question is this; is it worth attempting to get with her, considering the age difference and position I am in? If so, how would I even start the potential relationship with her? Is it worth attempting to get together with her, considering how awkward it will be to work with her if I get rejected? I also don't want to look like a fool in front of the other employees at the job, as some I find attractive as well, but haven't talked to them enough to know how I really feel about them. Also, If this doesn't work out, where would I start in trying to find someone else? Again, being really shy does not help my case in going out to a bar or something to meet people. Do I just need to overcome my shyness, and go out more, even if its by myself? If you managed to read through all of that and are still willing to help, I am greatly appreciative of it, as I do want to get something going. There's so much I am missing out on by being single, I feel. Again, there's nothing you can say that is too obvious to me, as this whole dating thing is foreign to me. Thanks again! Edited June 30, 2015 by Excise
understand50 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 (edited) Excise Met my wife when I was 15, she 17. We started dating when I was 16, and we married when I was 19. When we started dating she was in junior collage, and I was still in HS. That was 40 plus years ago. The thing about dating is you just have to go a do it. At your age and hers, it is all about what you will become, not what you are at this time. I know the age difference seems large now, but it's really not. In 60 years no one will say a thing. So go for it, ask her out. Do not sell yourself short. Be the guy she wants to be with. You do not know until you try. This link may help. They have advise for the "shy" guy as well. How to Ask a Woman on a Date | The Art of Manliness Wish you luck. Edited June 30, 2015 by understand50 Spelling............
Gloria25 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Dude, I do not recommend pooping where you eat... Anywho, you gotta literally "just do it"... Like public speaking and/or any new task we face. Like me changing oil on a vehicle. First time was a little scary and took a minute, 2nd time waaaay quicker. The more you practice something, the more comfy you get at it and you can use it with a chick you actually wanna do it with. And you're in retail - where you get to have the opportunity to practice chatting with people? W/o risking your job (by going over the top) you can chat up hot chicks and/or chick who you may fear are "out of your league" until you gain confidence, develop communication style, etc. Like a weekend or so ago I went to a grocery store where they take pride in customer service. The cashiers usually make small talk. This young man, handsome, well groomed, and with tatts (which I was surprised to see them allow him show instead of making him wear long sleeved shirts) was chatting me up on my purchase and asked if I would consider "sharing" to let him know Gosh, and that made my day!!! But nah, cuz of his age/job I didn't take it meaning he had interest in me, but Bra...vo I must say!!! The confidence, tone, choice of words...he did an outstanding job in chatting me up!!! So, put yourself out there, practice, practice, practice and you'll gain more confidence and stop putting a vagina on a pedestal.
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