thesaintishere Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I met a girl from Tinder - she is 22 and I’m 29. We met at a bar at 7pm and after an unsteady first half hour everything fell into place and proceeded to go very well. We stayed in the bar for 4 hours and then headed somewhere else until 2am, so a total of 7 hours! This is by far the longest and best first date I have been on. This girl was touching me, complimenting me and eventually just pulled me in for a kiss and by the end of the night a lot of kissing, touching, groping etc.. and had taken place. I didn’t go back to hers as she said she doesn’t invite guys back after a first date, but said we could pick up where we left off next time. By the time I had walked home (10 minutes) I had two messages and a missed call from her, which i took as a good thing. 'Great!’, I thought…but then a message I received today saying I was 'too old' has completely mindf*cked me! We even discussed age during the date and she said she didn’t mind about age as long as the person had the same outlook on life. So here I am genuinely confused, as I thought when a woman compliments you a lot, touches you a lot, instigates kissing and proceeds to kiss you a lot, tells you there will be a second date and is basically all over you, then you’re not going to get rejected! Obviously, she's not interested and I will not be pursuing, but I think this is the most mixed message/contradictory date/interaction with a woman I've ever had! Anyone had a similar experiences?
Mrin Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Who knows but it sounds like she talked to her friends and that was their reaction. 8
changeofseasons Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 First of all, tinder? No you're not too old, but maybe too old for tinder lol unless you're looking for low quality people and nothing serious. Sorry, i just think its a **** app that i wish would die off already because i never hear anything good come from it. I've done that to a guy before, not the whole "you're too old for me", but flirting and then completely withdrawing. Do you think you came on too strong? 1
carhill Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Anyone had a similar experiences? If you mean a woman changing her mind on the turn of a dime, sure! The kiss and the making out are only relevant in the moment. Later that night, or tomorrow, she could deny your existence entirely. Happens! The 'explanation' is vaporware, carbon dioxide, electrons, whatever. That's OK. Practice it yourself. It works! 2
Gary S Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 When you are talking about dating in the beginning before some actually falls for you, they can change their mind and flake at anytime, so don't worry about it too much. In the beginning, it's not how she felt then which is important, it's how she feels now - and now she dissed you and showed she's just not into you. It's okay! There are plenty of fish in the sea, go find another girl who really likes you. 2
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 She was probably drunk. Of course that happened to me and I have even done it. Had a great date and for some reason changed my mind when I got home. 5
Keenly Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 You just got tindered, man. Girl was bored, arranged for a date, enjoyed herself the whole time, and then when the night was over, it was back to normal life. Whatever BS She fed you on that date was just in an effort to have a good time. At least, that is the only rational explanation for that. 1
Lansing Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 The thing is, girls are also known to throw "tests" at guys... She could just be doing it to see how you react. Depending on the extent of her messages if you just want to have fun with her play back with her and maybe you can turn it around. Tease her, don't let it phase you (i.e. don't let it bug you). You shouldn't be worried about losing her at any point (especially because you don't "have" her yet). 1
RoseVille Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Just like men, women are free to change their mind. That's all she did. 3
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Has happened to me. Girls will straight up sleep with me and then not talk to me again. Always assumed it was because I am bad in bed, but several girls have said that it is not the case. Who knows. Move on. As far as I am concerned, they lose and you got to have some fun. 1
Author thesaintishere Posted June 29, 2015 Author Posted June 29, 2015 First of all, tinder? No you're not too old, but maybe too old for tinder lol unless you're looking for low quality people and nothing serious. Sorry, i just think its a **** app that i wish would die off already because i never hear anything good come from it. I've done that to a guy before, not the whole "you're too old for me", but flirting and then completely withdrawing. Do you think you came on too strong? Haha, I know, Tinder is lame, but requires very little effort! I don't think I was coming on too strong. I paid her very few compliments (she paid me A LOT), I didn't open up too much and I allowed her to come to me and didn't force anything. If it was just one factor then I'd be fine, but the fact she did everything I would expect a girl who really likes you to do makes me very confused! She has messaged me a bit today with our 'type' of messages but I've just 'straight-batted' them really. Thanks for the response!
Author thesaintishere Posted June 29, 2015 Author Posted June 29, 2015 The thing is, girls are also known to throw "tests" at guys... She could just be doing it to see how you react. Depending on the extent of her messages if you just want to have fun with her play back with her and maybe you can turn it around. Tease her, don't let it phase you (i.e. don't let it bug you). You shouldn't be worried about losing her at any point (especially because you don't "have" her yet). I didn't take it offensively and I am always sarcastic with my replies, so that's pretty much how I played it. I'm totally cool with not seeing her again, I'm just confused as I've never had a woman come on that strong and then 'do one'! Thanks for the response!
ZA Dater Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) It's okay! There are plenty of fish in the sea, go find another girl who really likes you. Yes, lots of people but this statement to me at least attempts to simplify something which isn't simple Edited June 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
mortensorchid Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 She was probably drunk. Of course that happened to me and I have even done it. Had a great date and for some reason changed my mind when I got home. I am with Gaeta here - she was probably drunk when she got all touchy feely with you and regretted it. Moving on.
lovexocoach Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Sorry to hear that happened. But, that's what dating is all about. You win some, you lose some. People change their minds all the time for any number of reasons.
phineas Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 You just got tindered, man. Girl was bored, arranged for a date, enjoyed herself the whole time, and then when the night was over, it was back to normal life. Whatever BS She fed you on that date was just in an effort to have a good time. At least, that is the only rational explanation for that. Yep. If they find you really attractive they sleep with you. Then still disappear. Tinder is a hook-up app. don't expect much from it.
lino Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 You just got tindered, man. Girl was bored, arranged for a date, enjoyed herself the whole time, and then when the night was over, it was back to normal life. Whatever BS She fed you on that date was just in an effort to have a good time. At least, that is the only rational explanation for that. Have no experience with tinder but women have been doing this since long before the internet. Above is correct. OP was the entertainment for that night. Wouldn't be surprised if she has a boyfriend as well. Also would bet many blokes have been back to her place on a first date. Ones who say the 'I never do this sort of thing' lines are usually the biggest perps of said 'things' 1
empresario Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 I'm glad I got too old for Tinder before it was a thing. It sounds more complicated than real life dating. I've heard horror story after horror story from my younger employees and interns. As a late 20s guy that has dated many early 20s women...most females see things in a different light. They honestly don't care at all about age. My guess, as others said, it's just an excuse. I can't think of another reason if the attraction was there and she was legitimately interested in you. Also, that age difference isn't that significant. After college (22+) girls can socially select whomever they want up to a point. It's the whole, guys age / 2 + 7 mentality. You're within that range. It's when they're still in college (and pre-22) when it can be slightly sociologically weird. Trust me on that one. 1
kendahke Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Who knows but it sounds like she talked to her friends and that was their reaction. On point!!!! That's exactly what I thought, too. She ran your date by her committee and they voted you out of her life. That means she's too immature to be dating anyone older than herself. You dodged a bullet---everything you would have done or said was going to be run by her committee. 1
kendahke Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 The thing is, girls are also known to throw "tests" at guys... The operative word in that sentence is "girls". Yes, girls do this and other immature things because they have not developed their own judgement and their own mind to a point where they trust it.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 The thing is, girls are also known to throw "tests" at guys... She could just be doing it to see how you react. Depending on the extent of her messages if you just want to have fun with her play back with her and maybe you can turn it around. Tease her, don't let it phase you (i.e. don't let it bug you). You shouldn't be worried about losing her at any point (especially because you don't "have" her yet). I wish I was able to sense and tell when a woman is "testing" me
Author thesaintishere Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 On point!!!! That's exactly what I thought, too. She ran your date by her committee and they voted you out of her life. That means she's too immature to be dating anyone older than herself. You dodged a bullet---everything you would have done or said was going to be run by her committee. I think this could be the case as in the morning after the date she texting me stuff that related to the date, i.e. little jokes and stuff we had in common...then a few hour gap and suddenly she comes out with "I think you're too old for me". Odd, but a learning experience nonetheless!
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