Suicidal 23 year old, never had a girl friend, can't get over past

[Gloria25]

Well I wasn't raised by a single mom, my biological parents have always been married as long as I've been alive, i wonder if my Dad failed me somehow in my childhood and teen years, etc.

 

If he did, I wonder how he did specifically, I know I can't change the past I'm just curious because if I ever have kids someday, particularly a son, I want to make sure he grows up and has a better social life, dating life in his teens and 20's unlike me

 

Well, wouldn't say he "failed" you...

 

Not everyone knows everything. I mean look around, everyone parents differently. People do what they know and/or what was passed down from them.

 

Seems though like over the years, guidance from elders within the family unit/communities has dwindled over the years and there's a disconnect - where people are just "out there" and/or learn from environment (i.e. TV, friends, my fav podcaster).

 

I say, "where there's a will, there's a way". While you may not have had the benefit of a certain childhood, if you crave better for yourself and/or kids - you will seek knowledge.

 

There's parenting classes, books, TV, people like my fav podcaster out there where you can look, learn, observe. The difficulty is knowing which to follow. Cuz for example, watching American Sniper, when his dad was giving them a lecture on bullying, some might say - "look at that angry Redneck"...yet, some may say "there goes a father teaching his boys to stand up for themselves".

 

Lol, I saw this crazy movie like a few months ago with this dude who was like some SF dude who went psycho on this innocent family that took him in. Anywho, there was a part in the movie where the son of the family was getting bullied. Dad comes home, sits down and has a beer - doesn't talk to the kid, doesn't pick him up from school - but psycho SF dude does, observes bullies, kicks bullies butts and teaches the boy to have some cojones. Lesson learned, dad needs to be more involved in raising his kid and should have picked up on kid coming home every day with his head down. Towards the end of the movie, the boy stabbed psycho SF guy and he was like "good job!!".

 

Ah, the movie was called "The Guest"...and boy it was funny at times, they'd do close ups when he was making psycho faces and I'd die laughing...But good movie over all. I was scared, thrilled, and boy that guy was sexy and slick.

 

The Guest (2014) - IMDb

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Well, wouldn't say he "failed" you...

 

Not everyone knows everything. I mean look around, everyone parents differently. People do what they know and/or what was passed down from them.

 

Seems though like over the years, guidance from elders within the family unit/communities has dwindled over the years and there's a disconnect - where people are just "out there" and/or learn from environment (i.e. TV, friends, my fav podcaster).

 

I say, "where there's a will, there's a way". While you may not have had the benefit of a certain childhood, if you crave better for yourself and/or kids - you will seek knowledge.

 

There's parenting classes, books, TV, people like my fav podcaster out there where you can look, learn, observe. The difficulty is knowing which to follow. Cuz for example, watching American Sniper, when his dad was giving them a lecture on bullying, some might say - "look at that angry Redneck"...yet, some may say "there goes a father teaching his boys to stand up for themselves".

 

Lol, I saw this crazy movie like a few months ago with this dude who was like some SF dude who went psycho on this innocent family that took him in. Anywho, there was a part in the movie where the son of the family was getting bullied. Dad comes home, sits down and has a beer - doesn't talk to the kid, doesn't pick him up from school - but psycho SF dude does, observes bullies, kicks bullies butts and teaches the boy to have some cojones. Lesson learned, dad needs to be more involved in raising his kid and should have picked up on kid coming home every day with his head down. Towards the end of the movie, the boy stabbed psycho SF guy and he was like "good job!!".

 

Ah, the movie was called "The Guest"...and boy it was funny at times, they'd do close ups when he was making psycho faces and I'd die laughing...But good movie over all. I was scared, thrilled, and boy that guy was sexy and slick.

 

The Guest (2014) - IMDb

 

Goes to show you sons have to be raised in a better or a more certain way than daughters do if they want to have early dating success

[William]

As a reminder, let's stay focused on the thread starter and his particular issues. As an international member, there may be aspects to his culture which don't scan relevant to the predominant culture discussed on the forum, that being the US. Keep that in mind with your responses. Finally, save the feminism debate for another time and thread. This is a young man reaching out. Let's help him. Thanks!