ZA Dater Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Find someone even less attractive than him and go out with the them until you get used to looking at them. You'll probably be in the same situation so you'll have to stop seeing the new guy. Then go back to the guy you're seeing now and he should look a lot better. Okay I know that's crazy as hell, I just thought of it. Lol You touch on a very interesting concept. As such, I would like to ask the forum this question. Do the people you have dated/met up with in the past change your likes and dislikes and do they influence the type of person you ultimately look for? Basically what I am saying is do you feel the bar gets raised and its difficult to go back to someone who perhaps was not as "wow" as the last person. I cant speak of experience here in the dating sense but I can say of the two dozen people I met from OLD it definitely was a case of the bar being raised and lowered to varying degrees. When I got used to someone really vivacious and smart its very difficult to go back to someone who doesn't speak so beautifully and isn't so smart. Or am I completely off base here.
Arieswoman Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 I had some similar experiences like Ruby Slipper (Post # 11) If the attraction isn't there or doesn't develop after a couple of dates I would give it up and not waste their time. However, that doesn't stop you inviting them to a party and doing a bit of matchmaking with your female friends .....
h0000 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 You touch on a very interesting concept. As such, I would like to ask the forum this question. Do the people you have dated/met up with in the past change your likes and dislikes and do they influence the type of person you ultimately look for? Basically what I am saying is do you feel the bar gets raised and its difficult to go back to someone who perhaps was not as "wow" as the last person. I cant speak of experience here in the dating sense but I can say of the two dozen people I met from OLD it definitely was a case of the bar being raised and lowered to varying degrees. When I got used to someone really vivacious and smart its very difficult to go back to someone who doesn't speak so beautifully and isn't so smart. Or am I completely off base here. Interesting.. But personally it doesn't always apply to me. Most people are just good and bad in different ways. I would not say someone is at an objectively/overall higher level than another and that raises my bar. I can date a model looking guy who doesn't have a degree and also I can date a normal looking guy who is an investment banker. I won't say one of them is "better" than another. I guess I am just good at discovering all kinds of beauty haha
ZA Dater Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 Interesting.. But personally it doesn't always apply to me. Most people are just good and bad in different ways. I would not say someone is at an objectively/overall higher level than another and that raises my bar. I can date a model looking guy who doesn't have a degree and also I can date a normal looking guy who is an investment banker. I won't say one of them is "better" than another. I guess I am just good at discovering all kinds of beauty haha For me the bar tends to get raised based on personality and intelligence.
jay1983 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 You touch on a very interesting concept. As such, I would like to ask the forum this question. Do the people you have dated/met up with in the past change your likes and dislikes and do they influence the type of person you ultimately look for? Basically what I am saying is do you feel the bar gets raised and its difficult to go back to someone who perhaps was not as "wow" as the last person. I cant speak of experience here in the dating sense but I can say of the two dozen people I met from OLD it definitely was a case of the bar being raised and lowered to varying degrees. When I got used to someone really vivacious and smart its very difficult to go back to someone who doesn't speak so beautifully and isn't so smart. Or am I completely off base here. I'll be hypothetic, yes and no. I've seen it go either way, it depends on the person and who they dated. I'd tell you to make a thread asking this, but I don't foresee too many people admitting that they can't go back I had the "pleasure" of dating a girl who was outta my league and that was the one of the worst flings I ever had. I went back to women in my league with a smile on my face. Lol If you're a nice looking guy in good shape, you can get on a dating site and easily get an overweight girl see, her for a couple of weeks/months. After she's dated someone like I described, they don't go back very easily. They'll hold out til hell freezes over. Lol If you could do a thread and get honest answers, you'll probably get all kinds of different anecdotes.
h0000 Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 For me the bar tends to get raised based on personality and intelligence. As long as they meet my standards, I no longer mind.
katiegrl Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 lol...not saying your shallow but it is all about the looks for you in this case. Not necessarily. Feeling *attracted to* someone is completely different from merely finding someone *attractive* physically. Feeling *attracted to* someone goes far deeper than the physical, or how much money they make, how great their job is, etc. Feeling *attracted to* someone is about chemistry, spark, energy, it's that special *click* you feel with someone that causes your heart to skip a beat, go weak in the knees ...it sometimes takes your breath away (so to speak). I used to work in entertainment and was surrounded by REALLY attractive men all day long, but yet did not feel *attracted to* any of them. Conversely, I have been *attracted to* men who were not conventionally handsome, but because of the special chemistry we shared...which again went far deeper than merely the physical or anything superficial.....they became attractive TO ME. OP, don't let anyone talk you or guilt you into feeling *attracted to* this man. The chemistry isn't there..end of story. And since he has not kissed you either, my guess would be HE is not feeling it either...as that *click* you feel with someone, is usually if not always mutual. It's just not happening and there is nothing wrong with you for not feeling it, and you can't fake it and you should not force it. Talk to him...since you enjoy each other's company and spending time, perhaps you can be friends!
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