Am I doing the right thing?

[Fallen_Angel]

The loss of the rituals is tough. Saturday nights are hell for me now; heck, anywhere I go reminds me of him in one way or another.

 

Even watching TV and seeing people kissing makes me wistful. Grrrrrr.

 

I've heard trying a new look is good for the healing process. I myself have a spa appointment in two weeks (a Christmas gift from one of my friends). I am so psyched.

 

She thinks I should e-mail him and tell him why I haven't contacted him and that I don't hate him, etc and so forth.

 

Hmmmm. I think theoretically he should already know why you're not contacting him. Even if you're trying to remain friends, you still need time to adjust to the end of the relationship. How could you kiss him one day, and only shake hands (well, maybe not shake hands, but you know what I mean) the next? Each time I've spoken on the phone with my ex, I've felt this weird pause at the very end of the conversation where the "I love you" used to fit.

 

If anything, you should be honest. Tell him you want to remain friends, but you can't do so when there are still unresolved feelings involved. Remain in casual contact if you must. We've both said it before...we need NC! While I still hate the thought of not contacting him, I cannot, CANNOT get through the day simply hanging on to a strand of hope. You're right - your ex needs to realize exactly what he got himself into by doing this. So let him!!

[loveisallaround]

Well, theres been a new development in my scenario.

 

I broke NC. But I'm not killing myself for it. Sometimes breaking NC can actually benefit you:

 

So I had him deleted from my MSN list. But not blocked. Through the week I got the occasional Hello?, Are you there? kind of messages that I didn't respond to.

 

Yesterday after work, I logged on. And he caught me. So as he was "honest" with me, I decided I'd be honest for him.

 

At the beginning of the conversation, I was very short. Three word phrases.

 

He says: So I didn't hear back from you on Monday. DId you still want to get together?

I said: I'm not sure.

He says: Okay well if you do, let me know if/when.

 

I didn't say anything for a bit.

 

He says: you really hardcore hate me, huh?

 

I then said I didn't hate him, but I was kind of confused and moving on with my life.

 

He says: Ok, I know you don't want to do this over the internet, but you're a really great person. I know you made this really accomodating for me and I want to for you too - I want to be friends.

 

So I briefly told him why I was upset. He said he didn't totally get it. So I explained more clearly that I was insulted why he didn't even communicate with me, etc and so forth.

 

He says: Well, I know from previous experience that my mind works differently in these scenarios... I had already decided and there was no changing my mind ... it was the end for me.

 

A response that made little to no sense.

 

I said: I don't know what to say. I'm kind of insulted.

He says: You don't have to say anything.

He says: Why insulted?

 

So I basically tell him that I feel even more slapped in the face because his paragraph of b.s. made no sense and now it feels like on a whim he decided to break up, not consult me, ignore all our chemistry/great compatibility and good times together.

 

He says: to be honest - I'm frustrated with you, something I never though I'd experience with you. if you can't get that I can't tell you anything.

 

WTF!? Now the tables are being turned around on me? He's not being accomodating of me - he's being accomodating of himself!

 

He says: ... we'll talk about this later, k?

 

At that point, with no response, he revisited my block list. To stay there forever. Gone from my cell phone. Gone from my life. No friends, no anything.

 

I was so offended by somebody so selfish and I'm suddenly realizing that our time together has meant nothing. It seems to him anyway. His so called good intentions are nothing but his selfish need to make himself feel better or that he did something.

 

It is so much easier to edit an a**h*** out of my life then somebody who I thought was a great person. Talk about an emotional juvenile and a wolf in sheep's clothing. Too much of my precious time has been wasted on this piece of work and if he thinks I'm going to ever contact him again or attempt to be friends, or assist in making him feel less guilty - he's got a whole load coming.

 

Goodbye, good luck and most of all - good f' riddance!

 

What do you guys think of this unfolding?

[Fallen_Angel]

Originally posted by loveisallaround

He says: to be honest - I'm frustrated with you, something I never though I'd experience with you. if you can't get that I can't tell you anything.

 

He's decided he's frustrated with you?!? If that's not the most immature thing I've EVER heard...

 

It takes two to tango, right? So if your ex was a DECENT, MATURE person he would have tried to talk things through with you instead of saying crap like "I've already made up my mind." To me that sounds like he doesn't want to hear your side because he's afraid of feeling guilty.

 

Like I said before, you can't be friends with him if only one party (namely, him) benefits from said friendship. Maybe down the line, if/when he figures out how much of a jerk he's been...then you can talk. But until then, do just as you said you'd do: make him miss you! Make him realize what he's done by severing your relationship.

 

I know this is just grasping at straws on my part, but to me it seems as though guys (dumpers, not dumpees)aren't immediately impacted by breakups the way we females are. Guys seem to jump head first into freedom, while girls are left to figure out what exactly went wrong. Once the freedom loses its novelty, then they start to wonder. But this is just a musing on my part...I'm still dejected, so what do I know?

 

Anyway, you're right...good f'ing riddance!!

[loveisallaround]

I know this is just grasping at straws on my part, but to me it seems as though guys (dumpers, not dumpees)aren't immediately impacted by breakups the way we females are. Guys seem to jump head first into freedom, while girls are left to figure out what exactly went wrong.

 

I think you're totally right. The more open emotionally (usually females) are the ones who are immediately knee high in sh#t, but as a result we move on faster. The more closed off emotionally (usually men) are the ones who are relieved at first, but the issues come back to haunt them.

 

Now that I think about it, when we were breaking up, I was confused and distraught while he said he was relieved. And even with prior relationships, months after the breakup I've got those "I'm so sorry" e-mails.

 

Jerks.

[whitewhale]

It's hard to not call him back. I think I'm being really cruel and rude. I know he wants this to work as a friendship but it's hard for me because I feel like I'm being kept around for a convience and a possible lover opportunity in the future.

 

Again I ask: Am I doing the right thing?

 

I had that kind of feeling too. That he might consider me a back-up girl or something. I've actually agreed, or rather first rejected then reflected, accepted, and though he feels better (so he told me), I don't. I asked others on another thread what to do, and the answer is NC.

 

If you do have that kind of feeling, don't do something counterintuitive. Fight for your self-respect and ignore him. Who cares if he thinks it's rude - which btw I don't think to be - he's a jerk.

[whitewhale]

Originally posted by loveisallaround

Well, theres been a new development in my scenario.

 

I broke NC. But I'm not killing myself for it. Sometimes breaking NC can actually benefit you:

 

So I had him deleted from my MSN list. But not blocked. Through the week I got the occasional Hello?, Are you there? kind of messages that I didn't respond to.

 

Yesterday after work, I logged on. And he caught me. So as he was "honest" with me, I decided I'd be honest for him.

 

At the beginning of the conversation, I was very short. Three word phrases.

 

He says: So I didn't hear back from you on Monday. DId you still want to get together?

I said: I'm not sure.

He says: Okay well if you do, let me know if/when.

 

I didn't say anything for a bit.

 

He says: you really hardcore hate me, huh?

 

I then said I didn't hate him, but I was kind of confused and moving on with my life.

 

He says: Ok, I know you don't want to do this over the internet, but you're a really great person. I know you made this really accomodating for me and I want to for you too - I want to be friends.

 

So I briefly told him why I was upset. He said he didn't totally get it. So I explained more clearly that I was insulted why he didn't even communicate with me, etc and so forth.

 

He says: Well, I know from previous experience that my mind works differently in these scenarios... I had already decided and there was no changing my mind ... it was the end for me.

 

A response that made little to no sense.

 

I said: I don't know what to say. I'm kind of insulted.

He says: You don't have to say anything.

He says: Why insulted?

 

So I basically tell him that I feel even more slapped in the face because his paragraph of b.s. made no sense and now it feels like on a whim he decided to break up, not consult me, ignore all our chemistry/great compatibility and good times together.

 

He says: to be honest - I'm frustrated with you, something I never though I'd experience with you. if you can't get that I can't tell you anything.

 

WTF!? Now the tables are being turned around on me? He's not being accomodating of me - he's being accomodating of himself!

 

He says: ... we'll talk about this later, k?

 

At that point, with no response, he revisited my block list. To stay there forever. Gone from my cell phone. Gone from my life. No friends, no anything.

 

I was so offended by somebody so selfish and I'm suddenly realizing that our time together has meant nothing. It seems to him anyway. His so called good intentions are nothing but his selfish need to make himself feel better or that he did something.

 

It is so much easier to edit an a**h*** out of my life then somebody who I thought was a great person. Talk about an emotional juvenile and a wolf in sheep's clothing. Too much of my precious time has been wasted on this piece of work and if he thinks I'm going to ever contact him again or attempt to be friends, or assist in making him feel less guilty - he's got a whole load coming.

 

Goodbye, good luck and most of all - good f' riddance!

 

What do you guys think of this unfolding?

 

I wish I had read that like two or three days ago. Gosh! Sounds so much like the guy that dumped me! No communication about his doubts, acted as if all was alright, then made up his mind a broke up and off he went... And the felt guilty and clearly wanted to be friends for that reason. To make himself feel better, not me. Selfish jerk.We're both like to be rid of them.

[loveisallaround]

Originally posted by whitewhale

I wish I had read that like two or three days ago. Gosh! Sounds so much like the guy that dumped me! No communication about his doubts, acted as if all was alright, then made up his mind a broke up and off he went... And the felt guilty and clearly wanted to be friends for that reason. To make himself feel better, not me. Selfish jerk.We're both like to be rid of them.

 

They deserve to be out of our lives. So far out of our lives that they'll never see us again.

 

I swore to myself that he's out of my life forever. No one sided friendship. No validating his guilt. No giving him the gift of my presence in his life. I'm an amazing partner to have - he's going to realize it and never have it again.

 

I'd love to hear more about your scenario if you'd like to vent. It often helps.

[whitewhale]

I'd love to hear more about your scenario if you'd like to vent. It often helps.

 

You're still luckier that at least you haven't agreed to that stupid "friends" idea that's only to make him feel better. I can see yours just the type I've been dumped by..

 

scenario's more or less like this:

first of all, he's much younger, and though I believe that age doesn't mean maturity, this time I had definitely an immature jerk to deal with. Only I never wanted to see it..

it explains a lot his behavior, I think, anyways - there was lots of love, compatibility on many levels, and me being too good a girl in all of it., but the always is just as relative as never - it started going wrong only in his mind, and I wasn't rational enough to see it. But there again - whenever I talked to my friends - they ALL said, it's just another phase, the fact that he calls less doesn't mean much etc

 

 

But what is less? it was still very frequent, and when he did call, talked to me, smsed me, till the last day before he dumped me, he was soooo in love, and miiiissed me soooo much. So how was I suppose to tell??

 

The night before he was definitely looking enamored. I was reacting accordingly, which was I was paying back what I thought I was getting - care and attantention...

Now, the moment he left me, went home, I sent him a message, because we played a game, and I wanted to finish it - you know, you start a sentence, he finishes and vice versa - so I sent: "I want you to..." he added "accept whatever life may bring". Sounded odd after him telling me that the most happiest he is is when he is with me - it was a matter o 5-10 minutes... So i asked what does he mean by that?? Oh, nothing, just what it says, it's just his life motto, or somehing of that sort.

 

Next day, in the afternoon - We have to talk about us. he said.

I called him, ok, let's talk then.

No, tomorrow.

I don't want to wait till tomorrow, it sounds serious.

Ok, let's meet halfway.

 

So I went to meet him. Ready for all kinds of conversations, cause he once told me that he agrees with me that all problems should be first discussed. that one shouldn't keep things inside to let them get too heavy.

But I wasn't prepared for what followed (I'll make it mostly into a monologue):

 

You know, I think I don't love you any more... I think I never really loved you. I know you're not the one. So I have to look for the one now. (!) I have carried a heavy burden, because you care too much about me, and I don't love you like that.

You love me too much.

etc in this vein

after a five minute talk of this sort, I found it hard to think clearly..

he said all the stuff rather fast, and yet, wanted to continue walking and talking for God knows what reasons, because I know I've heard enough, so I asked him, and he said he wants to explain things - but he only kept repeating like a parrot - I don't love you, i never did...

 

when I tried to tell him he might be mistaken, that Idon't love him that "tragically much" he said he knew and was extremely firm on that. Made me mad right away. why should he be on the right side? he also accused me of going to fast with him. well, it takes two to tango, no? but of course - I shouldn't have said no in the right moment etc. and it was even worse for him that I was a virigin then, which he seem to hold against me...

 

beyond me.. I came back home and there he smses me and says I'm sorry that it looked so (like he used me as a doormat I guess and then dumped me - which I might have guessed he'd do, but I was in love, he seemed even more, everyone said so), and he wished me good night.

 

then, i've no recollection of what I replied. he tried to call, I hang up. smsed me again, said sorry again, said goodbye again and, ladies and gentlemen - added "kiss" at the end of the message!

 

I probably replied with some bitterness, but not rudeness etc. Next night he smsed that he felt soo guilty and he wants to be friends. good night.

Now that beats all. I mean,doesn't he know I see what it is? Wants to feel less guilty. Self self self. his ego is bigger than Big Apple.

I refused the next day acusing him of lack of sincerity in behavior, saying that trust and sincerity are also the basis of a friendship, and then told him that sorry, but am I to comfort HIM??

 

Last minute changes - I had some idiotic mood and texted him I was fine - wanted to show him probably how wrong he was that I'm gonna pine after him forever.

He called entusiastic and relieved - again, not happy that I was feeling better (which devilishly temporary) but that it made HIM feel better.

Basicaly that's the end of contact for now. Though I feel like telling him all I think about him,but ppl here advised contrary, so I'll stick to that. I can't think clearly about my situation, though I can about others - even very similar ones. Someone maybe emotional because of his/her loss and freak out, but they read what I wrote and say the right thing. So I'm doing my best, hard as it is (I was so close to contact last night, on the verge of it) and try to disappear from his life as he did from mine. As suddenly as a lightning.

[loveisallaround]

I'm really sorry to hear this whitewale - but you're doing the right thing. NC has helped me and others incredibly. Speedy recoveries!

 

I can't really believe how SELFISH your ex is, that and what an emotional juvenile.

 

And you're right, what similar scenarios - my ex and I did the hard and fast thing too, with a break up coming out of left field. And while at the time of the break up, his reasons seemed legit, they really weren't. My theory is my ex did it on a whim, feels it was the right thing to do but also feels really guilty about and is questionning if it was the right thing to do.

 

The conversation we had on MSN (my most recently posted) completly floors me to what a wolf in sheep's clothing he's been. I didn't realize he was that immature and selfish. He completly severed my heart with absolutely no logic behind anything which is inexcusable in my books.

 

Be strong, don't call him. Call a friend. Text a friend. Light up a cigarette (my favourite!) Watch a dvd. Disappear from his life forever, cut him completly off. Although right now he may not realize it (he may jump right into freedom - Fallen_Angel's theory, which is right!), down the road (lets give atleast 4-6 months) he'll start wondering. You'll get an e-mail or phonecall, I can pretty much gurantee it.

 

But by that time you'll have moved on...

[Fallen_Angel]

Originally posted by whitewhale

doesn't he know I see what it is? Wants to feel less guilty. Self self self. his ego is bigger than Big Apple.

I refused the next day acusing him of lack of sincerity in behavior, saying that trust and sincerity are also the basis of a friendship, and then told him that sorry, but am I to comfort HIM??

 

((Hugs))

 

I don't understand why these guys feel THEY need the comforting. THEY were the ones with the "luxury" of knowing what was going on, whereas WE were blindsided. I heard the same thing: "Know that I'm feeling everything you're feeling...this upsets me too...I'm still thinking about you..." Blah. Blah. Blah. It's all bs to me. If he REALLY felt the depths of the feelings I feel, he never would have hurt me this way.

 

This is the first time I've been in a situation like this, and it is SO hard not to break down and make that phone call/text message/e-mail etc. But I'm not going to do it. The breakup hasn't changed my phone number/IM screen name/e-mail address. If he wants to contact me, he can make the effort. Right now we need to be strong and work on our relationships with ourselves. Spoil yourself a little! It feels great! And of course, come commiserate with the rest of us at LoveShack. We feel your pain and we want to listen.

[loveisallaround]

Originally posted by Fallen_Angel

I heard the same thing: "Know that I'm feeling everything you're feeling...this upsets me too...I'm still thinking about you..." Blah. Blah. Blah. It's all bs to me.

 

It's funny how the feelings go from despair to anger quite quickly.

 

Anger is so much easier to deal with.

[whitewhale]

Originally posted by Fallen_Angel

((Hugs))

 

I don't understand why these guys feel THEY need the comforting. THEY were the ones with the "luxury" of knowing what was going on, whereas WE were blindsided. I heard the same thing: "Know that I'm feeling everything you're feeling...this upsets me too...I'm still thinking about you..." Blah. Blah. Blah. It's all bs to me. If he REALLY felt the depths of the feelings I feel, he never would have hurt me this way.

 

This is the first time I've been in a situation like this, and it is SO hard not to break down and make that phone call/text message/e-mail etc. But I'm not going to do it. The breakup hasn't changed my phone number/IM screen name/e-mail address. If he wants to contact me, he can make the effort. Right now we need to be strong and work on our relationships with ourselves. Spoil yourself a little! It feels great! And of course, come commiserate with the rest of us at LoveShack. We feel your pain and we want to listen.

 

Thanx.. It immense help to be here. To know one's not alone in one's pain. IM, it's so incredibly comforting that somebody DOES understand me... Sure I'm in a lot of pain, but after having been here a while, and talking to one of my left-behind-in-another-city-friends I decided it's not only time to move on, but to move out and go back to where I come from.

I once left a great city because I hated commuting. But it's turned out that commuting is nothing in comparison to living in the city here. All my best friends are there, not here, and I feel like an outcast most of the time. The first time it felt a bit like home was when I met my ex...

 

There you. wth would keep me here now?? I can still commute. Besides, I know that finally, probably in October 2006 I'll get the dreamed of job in the city I left. So actually, the pain was not only a lesson. It's a stimulus to do what I wanted to do all the time anyway. Go back.

[loveisallaround]

Originally posted by whitewhale

Thanx.. It immense help to be here. To know one's not alone in one's pain. IM, it's so incredibly comforting that somebody DOES understand me... Sure I'm in a lot of pain, but after having been here a while, and talking to one of my left-behind-in-another-city-friends I decided it's not only time to move on, but to move out and go back to where I come from.

I once left a great city because I hated commuting. But it's turned out that commuting is nothing in comparison to living in the city here. All my best friends are there, not here, and I feel like an outcast most of the time. The first time it felt a bit like home was when I met my ex...

 

There you. wth would keep me here now?? I can still commute. Besides, I know that finally, probably in October 2006 I'll get the dreamed of job in the city I left. So actually, the pain was not only a lesson. It's a stimulus to do what I wanted to do all the time anyway. Go back.

 

Doesn't it prove to you that everything happens for a reason? For every ounce of pain, we gain an ounce of wisdom, or insight, or direction or whatever. Nothing in life happens for absolutely no reason.

 

Deep down I know why my relationship ended. Whenever I touch on that reason, I get shivers down my spine. I take that as plugging into the universe, connecting with a universal truth.

 

And somehow that makes me feel a bit better at the end of the day.

[loveisallaround]

Today was a really hard day.

 

I've got the closure I need to move on - he's a big fat jerk, but it's still hard snipping the last few cords of attachment.

 

I'm in utter disbelief that he's spinned into such a selfish, self absorbed individual. I knew he was somewhat self oriented - but not to this degree. For somebody to want to remain friends and try to make me feel bad (because he wanted to accomodate me) is completly beyond me. Who the hell was I dating? Who did I fall in love with?

 

How is everybody else doing?

[Fallen_Angel]

I've been better.

 

I've resisted multiple urges to call him. What would doing such a thing accomplish? Maybe I should simply give up hope altogether. There's a sliver of me that keeps hoping he'll call and say he's changed his mind...but he's so stubborn, and right now he's mired in end of the semester crap. I should concentrate on ME and know there's some guy out there who will actually realize a good thing while he has it...hehe.

 

I'm so tired of all these mood swings. I've always been the kind of person who changes moods easily, but this is beyond ridiculous. Most of today was actually good. I held a smile on my face for more than a second at one point, and it felt SO fantastic. But a little while ago I started feeling down again. I looked in the mirror and told myself I deserve someone who will appreciate me. Hopefully the more I repeat these words, the sooner I'll start believing them.

[whitewhale]

Originally posted by loveisallaround

Today was a really hard day.

 

I've got the closure I need to move on - he's a big fat jerk, but it's still hard snipping the last few cords of attachment.

 

I'm in utter disbelief that he's spinned into such a selfish, self absorbed individual. I knew he was somewhat self oriented - but not to this degree. For somebody to want to remain friends and try to make me feel bad (because he wanted to accomodate me) is completly beyond me. Who the hell was I dating? Who did I fall in love with?

 

How is everybody else doing?

 

Good for you! Let's all move on and forget about jerks. You know what happened? He texted me last night. I started strict NC after I asked him to give me my photo back (I have my reasons), and of course after we became "friends" which we're absolutely not going to be. I have resisted calling him names etc; I always then called friends, wrote here, or in a diary. A great help was to write down all the things I dislike or hate about him, and those included him immaturity etc so general features because of which there's no sense in being with a relationship with him.

And I got VERY busy as well.

 

So, since Saturday morning I was silent. I intend to continue along that path (and out of the city, which I right now keep secret here, but the friends - real ones, know of course, and are overjoyed).

 

I had my mobile off for the night. Today morning his message reached me; I'll do my best in translating it into English: "I'm sorry Annie, but when I'm looking at your picture I come to the conclusion that I don't want to give it back. Good night. Sweet dreams, Annie"

Now, that was written in the middle of the night, past midnight actually. Was he looking at my picture THEN?? Sweet dreams??

Well, his loss. I'm not going back.

My mother reminded me what it means to go back - in all tales when you want to find a treasure or want to win something there's very often a condition of not looking back. Now I remembered - it's even in the Bible - Lot's wife turned stone.

 

I'm rather glad that I can finally start practising ignoring him in fact. NC continues.

You know loveisallaround, I asked myself the same questions - after taking down my list of his drawbacks. Imagine that - my ex used to talk of women as if they were a product, called them in general some object names - like "goods" or "bowl" things I don't know how to translate ... Now I should ask myself - WTH was I thinking then?! That I'm not a woman or what? He's got total disrespect for women, I knew it, and yet I was too in love to see.

Scientists prooved not long ago that love really IS blind. It (that is certain hormones) switches off some parts of the brain responsible for effective rational evaluation.

Here's our answer...

[whitewhale]

Originally posted by Fallen_Angel

I've been better.

 

I've resisted multiple urges to call him. What would doing such a thing accomplish? Maybe I should simply give up hope altogether. There's a sliver of me that keeps hoping he'll call and say he's changed his mind...but he's so stubborn, and right now he's mired in end of the semester crap. I should concentrate on ME and know there's some guy out there who will actually realize a good thing while he has it...hehe.

 

I'm so tired of all these mood swings. I've always been the kind of person who changes moods easily, but this is beyond ridiculous. Most of today was actually good. I held a smile on my face for more than a second at one point, and it felt SO fantastic. But a little while ago I started feeling down again. I looked in the mirror and told myself I deserve someone who will appreciate me. Hopefully the more I repeat these words, the sooner I'll start believing them.

 

I'm also a person with lots of ups and downs. Some of my friends don't know how to cope with them even when I'm not right after a break-up, so I symphatize with you. I know how tiring it is. I have had terrible mood swings too. When up, I offered friendship, or accepted rather, the very next day down, I wanted to revenge myself and tell him all the nasty things I thought about him. Nothing helped but friends.

 

And you know what? I think that sometimes another "problem" may help - some big decision. I decided to change a city, something I've wanted to do for 2 years anyway. Maybe it's time for some great changes?

But then, if it's really hard for you, all I can say is - keep on browsing LS and follow advice of ppl here. NC rules.

 

I keep reminding myself too, of one of the guy's from here signature - his got "confused" in his name - "Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left'. When I think about it, if he's not my destined partner, why bother. He's not worth my thoughts.

[Fallen_Angel]

I had a dream about my ex this morning (well, technically it was morning - I opened my eyes around 5 A.M. and slept for another hour and a half before my alarm went off).

 

I can't remember exactly where we were, but it looked like we were in his room, seated facing each other. We were making plans to hang out at a later point, and then we were holding each other. The last thing I recall is seeing myself holding my arms out to reach for him, and then I woke up.

 

The dream was so damn vivid too since I had it so close to my appointed time to get up and begin the daily grind.

 

I'm thinking of switching jobs. If I do get the new position, I know it will be good for my emotional state right now because I'd undergo about 6 weeks of rigorous training. I know it would help me greatly to throw myself into something. I'm finding distractions - going to the gym, posting on a free dating site (more so for amusement than anything else -- seriously! -- and so far I've become friends with a nice guy), trying to spend more time with friends I've neglected, etc. They do help a lot, although when I'm alone I do start to feel bad again.

 

You're thinking of ConfusedInOC. I put the line about destiny at the bottom of my calendar at work so I can dwell on it all month long.

[whitewhale]

I'm thinking of switching jobs. If I do get the new position, I know it will be good for my emotional state right now because I'd undergo about 6 weeks of rigorous training. I know it would help me greatly to throw myself into something. I'm finding distractions - going to the gym, posting on a free dating site (more so for amusement than anything else -- seriously! -- and so far I've become friends with a nice guy), trying to spend more time with friends I've neglected, etc. They do help a lot, although when I'm alone I do start to feel bad again.

 

You're thinking of ConfusedInOC. I put the line about destiny at the bottom of my calendar at work so I can dwell on it all month long.

 

That's the spirit! Anything that helps goes. I've so much moved on that I'm surprised at myself. I can only feel that something went wrong a week ago by feeling benumbed (emotionally) a bit and still less energetic than usual. But that too will pass. It's a phrase that fits absolutely everything. I mean the only sure thing ever is change. That's comforting in a way.

I keep my fingers crossed 4U and yr new job.

What OC might be?, you probably know - IM ConfusedInOC's name. I do get confused with most of the verbal shortcuts. Is there a list for that sowhere on the net? Like IMO - that's in my opinion I guess?