CurlyIam Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 As you know, I broke up with my ex some time ago. the main reson was the fact that he was selfish, was very sure of himself and lately made me feel insecure about our relationship. I didn't like the person I was turning into so that was it. MAin reason for the break up: he refused to have sex for about two weeks - preffered spanking the monkey instead. I admit it was partly my fault for not taking the "issue" into my own hands, although he came at my place and we did sleep in the same bed. He also admitted he hated the fact that taking initiative was not my strong point. Anyway, we had a talk, but I felt horrible, rejected, unwanted, vengeful. We were to see eachother the next week end, and I kept on saying mean things to him, like "I don't feel like seeing you" "I don't miss you at all". I refused to go with him at a party, because I wanted to punish him so badly. At that party, he gets tipsy and puts himself in the situation where a girl hits on him and tries to kiss him. He Says he did not kiss her and splits off. the very next day he tells me everything. This happened the week end before Valentine's Day, one week before our first year anniversary. We spent St.V together, celebrated our one year anniversary and split some time after that. The main reason for our split up was the fact that I felt like he cheated, became unsure of myself... I dealt with it very badly. The thing is, this never happened to me before. I'm a fairly attractive girl and no, I have never been cheated on before - not that I know of, anyway. He says he didn't cheat on me, he just felt totally rejected and unwanted by me - and I was working quite hard at making him miserable - and he was in search of attention, yes, adulation maybe. But he said he didn't want to kiss or create this type of situation for himself. What can I say, shamelessly flirting can put someone in this position!! So we break up. Tears and messages, talks, etc. NC installed. I go to Washington for a week. I get a phonecall in the middle of the night - he had a huge car crash. Yes, because he worked all week and then went to his friends party and fell asleep while driving. Apparently, it shocked him big time. He called me the next day - he was a mess. We saw eachother once after I came back... he wouldn't say much. I don't know if the accident he's been through is getting to me, or .. the thing is, I see him differently. HE made me admit that after the girl incident his behaviour towards the other girls changed because he didn't want to lose me. That he did indeed make that extrastep I wanted him to. IT was just too late then. I can't explain how I got him back. It just seem natural. Like he belong there. I know I have to work on my recently bruised self esteem. oh, well, who knows. We're back together again. We want to take it very slowly, to see how it goes. I trust him. I don't think he's lying. And if he is, I know I can take it. I don't depend that much on him anymore. Funny: this break up made me gain much more independance and made him realise he wanted to devote himself more to our relationship. I'll keep you posted about how it works.
moimeme Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 I think it's great you didn't push him away this time. Sometimes people need some sort of wake-up call to knock them out of autopilot and get them to pay attention to what they're doing with their lives. The accident was it for him. I hope things go very well for you both!
BrotherAaron Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 It's nice to hear that somewhere out there people are mending relationships, and not just ending relationships. I hope it works out for you to be a fairy tale ending; happily ever after.
Author CurlyIam Posted May 1, 2005 Author Posted May 1, 2005 I am known not to give up easily, Aaron. This time I know what I'm getting myself into. IT's hard because I get mood swings - my bc pills - and for instance when my lifestyle changes, like exams, or papers to turn in, I do tend to panic and like moi said, withdraw from it. I'm fighting my fears. The thing is... I dont let people near. I close myself a lot. I'm trying to work here also. . Curly
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