SycamoreCircle Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 "I just slept with a vegetarian who used to be vegan. Does that mean I slept with a vegan?" *This was tweeted by my gf the day she dumped me, telling me to my face "I don't hate you. There isn't someone else." Apparently, she made a beeline for his bedroom and this was the end result. Never mind the fact that I was a vegetarian who used to be vegan. Anyway, narcissism has its own rules and logic. 1
Author Keenly Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 I wasn't allowed to use my dentist because she was a woman and her being inside my mouth like that was pretty much like sex. She lost respect for me as a man because no matter how hard she tried to push me I never hit her. That is her words. Damn. Eating dog feces sounds like a better experience than that kind of relationship.
Phoe Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 "I don't believe in science and evolution. Humans are too amazing for that. The big bang theory is insulting, because we clearly were put here by God. Or Aliens. Aliens could've put us here. Have you seen that ancient aliens show? Some valid stuff..." My brain melted at that point. I could not even bother.... 4
Author Keenly Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 "I don't believe in science and evolution. Humans are too amazing for that. The big bang theory is insulting, because we clearly were put here by God. Or Aliens. Aliens could've put us here. Have you seen that ancient aliens show? Some valid stuff..." My brain melted at that point. I could not even bother.... I picture the " aliens " meme. 2
Davey L Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 When talking about the street name the kids school was on she said "if you knew you were right all along why couldnt you just leave it alone so I could be right" Another one "I forgot to get gas, I dont even have enough to make it to the pump. Will you go fill it up?" HUH?? That's so that when it runs out it is YOU that has to walk to the petrol station to get a can. Sorry I guess I should "gas" not petrol...
autumnnight Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 "I don't believe in science and evolution. Humans are too amazing for that. The big bang theory is insulting, because we clearly were put here by God. Or Aliens. Aliens could've put us here. Have you seen that ancient aliens show? Some valid stuff..." My brain melted at that point. I could not even bother.... Yeah, because we all know that guy with the hair on Ancient aliens really knows what he's about...... 2
Phoe Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 I picture the " aliens " meme. I know exactly which one you mean. Then there's this... http://www.troll.me/images/ancient-aliens-guy/skeevers-thumb.jpg
Author Keenly Posted June 30, 2015 Author Posted June 30, 2015 I know exactly which one you mean. Then there's this... http://www.troll.me/images/ancient-aliens-guy/skeevers-thumb.jpg Hahaha. I wish I could have met this dude. I would have loved to debate him. 1
Maleficent Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 One night I was getting ready for a girls' night out and he said: "I will sleep on the couch so you can have the bedroom with whoever you pick up tonight" And no, it could not be intereted as a compliment or a joke. 1
S_A Posted June 30, 2015 Posted June 30, 2015 (edited) One night I was getting ready for a girls' night out and he said: "I will sleep on the couch so you can have the bedroom with whoever you pick up tonight" And no, it could not be intereted as a compliment or a joke. Lmao! That actually sounds funny. It wasn't anything that an ex said, but she dumped me when she found out I was a virgin (she was not a virgin). And she didn't try to give me closure or anything. She just straight up dropped me without saying a thing. She wouldn't return my calls etc. I actually had to figure out on my own that she dumped me. This probably led to the performance anxiety I had with my next GF. That, and I lied to my next GF (out of fear) that I was not a virgin (which compounds the anxiety). I get the last laugh though because after all these years she still asks about me through a mutual acquaintance. She probably still feels guilty. Especially considering that I know she liked me A LOT; it'd be safe to say that I was a crush she had. Edited June 30, 2015 by S_A
Maleficent Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 Lmao! That actually sounds funny. It wasn't anything that an ex said, but she dumped me when she found out I was a virgin (she was not a virgin). And she didn't try to give me closure or anything. She just straight up dropped me without saying a thing. She wouldn't return my calls etc. I actually had to figure out on my own that she dumped me. This probably led to the performance anxiety I had with my next GF. That, and I lied to my next GF (out of fear) that I was not a virgin (which compounds the anxiety). I get the last laugh though because after all these years she still asks about me through a mutual acquaintance. She probably still feels guilty. Especially considering that I know she liked me A LOT; it'd be safe to say that I was a crush she had. It wasn't funny at all.
S_A Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 It wasn't funny at all. Got it. Guess I had to have been there.
Arieswoman Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 My cheating exH said to me, after we attended the bank appointment, to sort out financial matters pertaining to the divorce ; "It's a pity you couldn't have met X (OW) under different circumstances, because I am sure you and her could have been friends." I said "really?", and walked off because I didn't trust myself not smack him in the mouth. What planet are these people on? 4
SycamoreCircle Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 What planet are these people on? Theiranus:laugh::laugh: 4
Maleficent Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 Got it. Guess I had to have been there. Pretty much lol.
Shepp Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 About use of indicators/turn signals: "I'm not asking permission, I'm letting them know what's gonna happen" About Joan Of Arc: "Is that Noah's wife?" (Probably the worst thing about that was it sparked a conversation that went something like "hahahahah no" "Who was she then" "Well she was that French women wasn't she" "Well that clears that up!! ...Noah's wife could of been French" "She's not Noah's wife!!" ........Apparently my history knowledge has a rather large gap!) When I came indoors yesterday: "have you come in because the suns gone out?" Its funny because she's a really intelligent girl! She's just got an answer for everything - she cracks me up all day long! "I love you so much, there's no way we can be together." My wife gave me this plenty before we got together! I don't date you because I love you way too much!".
gaius Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 "Your ex was lying to you, your penis isn't really that big, just average." She had to go to the gyno a week later because I damaged her during regular sex though. 1
lovinDKT3 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 When in college my parents got me a small house. Well there was a leak in the bathroom. His response to me asking him to look at it was "sweetie, when its not raining it doesnt need to be fixed and when its raining you cant fix it". That was over 20 years ago and I still give him a hard time about it. 2
stupidkittten Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 This is going to be kinda long but I know some weird people loool. My first "serious" relationship (some are actually a little scary) "I really wish I had herpes, so then I could give it to you and then no one would want you so you'd be stuck with me" (he had to go to a mental institution for a week) "The whole time I was there, I would wake up at 6am, and think "she's getting on the bus now" "now she's waiting at school, who is she sitting with, bet she's talking to someone" (I was super awkward and switched schools for him. I had NO friends and he knew this) "now she's walking to her first class" I thought about what you were doing all day. I made a plan to come back and not tell you and bring a gun and follow you to every class and peak in and see if you had starting talking to anyone." "Why do you have hot and cold on your ipod still. I thought you said that reminded you of your ex 2 years ago. Does it make you think about him still? *proceeds to argue for an hour*" *after we broke up and I went to the movies with my cousin* "So who did you REALLY go with?" "Kayla" "Anyone else?" "No" "Okay but were there guys AT the theater" "not with us" "But they were there" "yes" "Oh my god don't even talk to me **** you bye" *grabs my phone* *texts the first guy and says I love you* *I laugh because I don't care* "Wow, so you really don't care? You must tell him you love him. **** you bye (storms away) The guy after him "I really wish I could bathe in your vagina scent." "Earlier when you came over, I came in my pants and I still haven't changed it because it makes me think about you" My current boyfriend's ex (mother of his child). Not my ex BUT she says some equally crazy things some to me, some to him (First time she messaged me) "I don't want you to message me about MY kid or even try to be in his life" "I understand. I wasn't planning on it. It would be inappriorate." "Also you saw my status saying his legs were hurt WHY didn't you message me and ask me about it? FOr someone who supposedly wants to be in his life you sure don't act like you care" (second time) "I honestly don't think he (my boyfriend, let's call him John) should be allowed to see MY son because I had a miscarriage last year (with the guy she was married to) and John wasn't there for me." *calls my phone* "So when are we going to all get together and have some parties (never said anything to me beside that she didn't want me involved and that she didn't want to talk to me about anything) there's no reason me and you can't talk and be friends" "John can't see his son today because he's autistic and it went away and I don't want him to relapse again. He won't be able to walk anymore if he does. He can't handle the stress" (his son is definitely not autistic according to everyone besides her) "He has no ankles. He was born without ankles." (can run, ride a bike, and do everything a normal kid can do) "Josh won't be joining us because he wanted me to give my son up for adoption" *week later* *back with the guy* "He will be." "I thought you said he wanted to give him up for adoption" "I never said that. Different Josh" *sends screenshot* "HA OK! SO MAYBE HE DID SAY THAT SO WHAT? U WANT WAR!! WAR IT IS!! LETS ROLL!" *later the next day* "Yeah Josh did say that BUT he was talking about my other son" (doesn't have another son) (kinda old but to my bf a few months after their kid was born) "So I saw you're dating someone. She isn't going to be around my ****ing son" "We've been dating a week. I didn't plan on it" "Ok just saying, I don't want any druggy bitch around my son" "She doesn't even do drugs and she's not going to be but why are you acting like this?" "Because I don't want anyone who doesn't know how to be around a baby around my son. Has she ever even been around a baby" "She raised her brother" "HA that doesn't count unless it's her baby" "You haven't even been around a baby. You're younger than her" "I babysit my nephews a lot" "You just said that doesn't count but okay" "You know what I am trying to be civil but you wanna act like this ok I've already talked to a lawyer and I will make sure neither of you can ever see my son again since you wanna be immature! GET READY TO ROLL MOTHER****ER" boyfriend is one day late on child support for the first time because mail messed up "WHere is the money? You know the court house calls me every day you're late trying to figure out where the money is" "They don't call you. You call them. They would call me if anything" "NO THAT WOMAN UP THERE TELLS ME WHEN SHE SEES ME UP THERE. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CHILD SUPPORT I DON'T NEED IT" "Okay, but they didn't call you" "YES THEY DO. I'M SO SICK OF WAITING ON IT JOHN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I GO AND STAND BY MY MAIL BOX FOR HOURS BECAUSE I'M SCARED SOMEONE WILL STEAL IT" (in the town she's from, you can't get it direct desposited, you have to send a check or go up there or wire money to them. It says so on their site and the judge told them that when they got it set up) "I don't understand why you don't get it direct deposited" "I can't. They won't let me. You can call up and ask them" "OK I AM SO ****ING SICK OF YOUR BULL**** I KNOW HOW THIS STUFF GOES JOHN I WENT THROUGH IT WITH MY OTHER KIDS IF YOU WANNA ACT LIKE THIS WE CAN GO BACK TO COURT THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I'M CALLING UP THERE AND THEN YOU WILL NEVER SEE YOUR SON AGAIN IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!" (her husband of 6 months had kids but he lived in a completely different county. She lives in the middle of nowhere, that's why they can't do it.) 1
Leigh 87 Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 " you may as well be a hooker. At least you get paid for it " My last ex. Because he couldn't accept me just not being that into him and therefore, had to tell himself that I must surely be sleeping around. Which I wasn't. He even emailed my mum. Telling her the same thing
MuddyFootprints Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 "I know you want to help, but it's keeping us stuck." And, he's right.
Shining One Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 "Can't you just listen to my problems instead of solving them?" "I need you to stop hanging out with all of your friends who are prettier than me." "You make me feel like a failure as a woman." (For being a better cook than her)
Krieger Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 If I lost a leg would you still love me? You mean from the knee down? You lose a finger nail I'll break up with you. There's no depth to my shallowness.:lmao:
Robert Z Posted July 6, 2015 Posted July 6, 2015 When my ex was going off on me telling me what a horrible terrible husband I had been, I asked if I get any credit for going ten years without sex and never cheating on her. "NO! I had to go without sex too!!!" she replied. I've never hit a woman but it was probably a good thing she wasn't standing in front of me.
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