Eternal Sunshine Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) I have had this happen quite a few times when dating Australian guys. When we had a fight, they would mention that they are nth generation Australians and I am just an Eastern European immigrant. They would later apologize but still feels like that's what they really think. You can substitute "American" for "Australian". Edited June 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Forum references and other off-topic editorial commentary redacted.
Haydn Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) People who say these things are idiots and obviously don`t know anything about Central and Eastern Europe. Judging by the amount of `us` Brit blokes with GF`s or wives from Central and Eastern Europe i would say your value is very high. Edited June 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4
Emilia Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I've never had that happen in my life! IME men like variety so they like women from around the world. Australians can be quite patriotic though and I guess I avoid the British equivalent. Harder for immigrant men though because women tend to prefer those more established.
carhill Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Lately, like the past couple decades, I've seen this more in generalities rather than regarding specific individuals. As example, there are certain minority immigrant populations in our area who are the butt of what I feel are derogatory judgments and comments in general but a guy who finds a lady of such a minority who's an immigrant to be attractive will make an exception. Guys are like that sometimes! In the past, when racial and immigrant prejudices were a lot more pronounced, I think it did have an effect on dating value, in that certain people were avoided because of social pressure to 'stick with one's own'. I see a lot less of that now. My experience is narrow but long, since I've lived in the same demographic for 56 years and one which has experienced marked legal and illegal immigrant populations. A hundred years ago, my maternal ancestors were such immigrants. 1
candie13 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 It's a problem only if you let it become one. I remember dating a really sexy Turkish man. I mean it. He kept talking about his ex gf, American, but how in the end, they became just friends and he wasn't seeing himself settling down with her - ya know, the usual bs. The way he kept mentioning that she was American and her habits and stuff... I could feel he was jealous and he wanted that brand for himself. He was hot and was looking for a quick hook up, thought that I'd roll in the hays after 2 decent dated. Riiight . He doesn't dare to look me in the eyes, when he sees me in town, now, haha. Basically, my point is: people who discriminate most is the other immigrants, not the locals. It all depends on how you live your origins - as a weakness or as a force. It is how much your treasure your own values, what makes you you. How you see yourself. Nobody can love you more than how much you love yourself. I love my Eastern European upbringing. It's a pain in the arse, most of the times, but it prevented me from making some HUUUGE mistakes. It's what's grounding me, it's what's helping me keep it real ! I wouldn't have it any other way. 2
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I mostly date immigrants. I find men my own culture boring. They had everything spoon fed to them, they're conceited and complainers. Immigrants don't complain. A lot of them come from countries where they had it hard so they're grateful for the opportunities our country is offering them. 1
loveweary11 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 It sounds to me like your guy was trying to find a way to hurt you in an argument, had nothing, so went for an immigrant comment. Being from another country doesn't lower your dating value in the States. 1
joseb Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I'm an immigrant in Australia (Irish) and I have never really found it to be an issue. Personally I tend to prefer immigrants myself (not from my own country usually) than local girls just because they are usually a bit more interesting.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 The only legitimate issues I could see is a language barrier & if someone was looking for a green card marriage. 1
BluEyeL Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I actually emphasized my Eastern European origins in my profile and I found that to be an advantage. I got much better quality men when I said that than when I removed that information. If a man has a problem with that, and he even throws it in my face, like he's somehow superior because his ancestors were immigrants like me, he's not very smart and nice and I don't like stupid and mean people. Overall, a good thing. May narrow your pool a bit but in a good way . 1
Radu Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) I have had this happen quite a few times when dating Australian guys. When we had a fight, they would mention that they are nth generation Australians and I am just an Eastern European immigrant. They would later apologize but still feels like that's what they really think. You can substitute "American" for "Australian". Sounds like dirtbags. A snazzy comeback [totally not PC] would have been 'ah, so you are a proper descendent of wh*res, thieves and murderers ... those values were kept alive ?'. Edited June 29, 2015 by Radu
candie13 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I have had this happen quite a few times when dating Australian guys. When we had a fight, they would mention that they are nth generation Australians and I am just an Eastern European immigrant. They would later apologize but still feels like that's what they really think. You can substitute "American" for "Australian". I don't understand what they were saying. Well, yeah, they are Australian, you are Eastern European. That is a fact. What were they implying actually? that you're not really Australian - I mean, that's obvious, no, hehe ? Were they criticizing your degree of integration in the culture and society? It's important to actually listen to the points that they are raising. I had lived in Paris for over 3 years. I was in a committed RS with a French guy, had gone to a French university, was working in a French company, was perfectly integrated in my ex bf's family - French, still, that didn't mean I had become perfectly French. I had no idea what variety show was on 10 years ago in France. The name of the most obscure yet popular in the 80s stars. The songs or singers my ex bf was preferring as a teenager. Their typical childhood stories. It's just what it is. I am not French, I am supposed to be different.
elaine567 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I think in the OPs case her country of origin was just a handle he used to berate her during the argument. It could of been anything from merely being a woman, to the fact she loves M&Ms. It was just something he used to bash her with and something she couldn't use to bash him back with. 2
Keenly Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I can only speak using personal experience. A country of residence is not some exclusive membership club. A person is a person, whether they just off the boat or they were born in the ssame house as their grandfather. If anyone says anything like that to your, consider it a blessing that they revealed how inferior to you they really believe that you are. They think themselves above you, for what? For being born where they were born?
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 They think themselves above you, for what? For being born where they were born? It's meant to be condescending and to hurt. My last long term relationship was with a man of British descent and he'd use that card often to humiliate me and said things like French are just good at sex and food. There is a lot of prejudice within a same race.
Elias33 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 It's meant to be condescending and to hurt. My last long term relationship was with a man of British descent and he'd use that card often to humiliate me and said things like French are just good at sex and food. There is a lot of prejudice within a same race. Yes, cultural boundaries are the real challenge. Not so much racial. 1
No Limit Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Sure. I was teased for being of Eastern European origin throughout highschool, even though the border is just an hour driving away and the cheap markets aren't even run by people from my country. On the other hand people from this country go there to buy stuff cheaply and visit prostitutes that no man there would ever bed willingly. Mind you, the people who used to tease me this way are empty-headed idiots who are now looking forward to a future of barely-paid jobs and most likely periods of being unemployed. Except for one guy - factory worker under the management of my mother! When I told her about him insulting us she just said "Well, with that job he has he'll be mentally broken by the time he's 30" - respect, he's the first intolerant guy I actually pity.
loveweary11 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 French are just good at sex and food. I would be happy to receive that insult. I take great pride in my cooking and wouldn't mind at all if people thought I was a master at sex. 2
tuxedo cat Posted July 1, 2015 Posted July 1, 2015 If anything I think it's an advantage. Men like exotic women. You have to own it, though. Maybe these guys can sense that you're insecure about being an immigrant. 1
No_Go Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 ES, don't bother with guys like that. It has nothing to do with your value as a date or in any way. Btw I'm quite proud to be born in that part of the world, and don't see why anybody will shame you on that. An ex of mine was making similar comments: "I'm xxx generation American, and you're Eastern European immigrant", calling my country a "third-world country" and showing me documentaries to shame me on it Well, I stated some other facts (I immigrated to pursue a career in science, he was a college dropout; I was gainfully employed, he was completely dependent on me financially etc)... He snapped that I'm belittling him for things that "do not depend on him", and then I reminded him about the start of the discussion (country origin). I think he got the point. I have had this happen quite a few times when dating Australian guys. When we had a fight, they would mention that they are nth generation Australians and I am just an Eastern European immigrant. They would later apologize but still feels like that's what they really think. You can substitute "American" for "Australian".
avintagegirl Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 I have had this happen quite a few times when dating Australian guys. When we had a fight, they would mention that they are nth generation Australians and I am just an Eastern European immigrant. They would later apologize but still feels like that's what they really think. You can substitute "American" for "Australian". Interesting. Where I am from there is a large immigrant population and the men here are more inclined to be interested in dating them than Americans. I actually heard a conversation were an immigrant woman asked an American man why that is and he said something to the effect of "because American women are self-centered, too into themselves and ignorant of the world around them". It was insulting to hear American women be generalized in such a way and I simply said that he clearly hadn't met all the women in America.
yxalitis Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 (edited) The only legitimate issues I could see is a language barrier & if someone was looking for a green card marriage. In Australia it's called "PR" for Permanent Resident, and is the Holy Grail for immigrants. Chinese will pay $100,000 for a fake marriage to secure one! As for the OP's question: NO! NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM WOULD THAT MATTER!!! Anyone who suggest this is a legitimate concern in Australia of all places is a total and utter deluded fool! Edited July 2, 2015 by yxalitis
yxalitis Posted July 2, 2015 Posted July 2, 2015 If anything I think it's an advantage. Men like exotic women. You have to own it, though. Maybe these guys can sense that you're insecure about being an immigrant. Well, I do prefer Asians....
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