confusedgirlfriend11 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 I have no clue where I'm going wrong, other than making things too easy! I hate playing games so I am always pretty honest with someone. I try not to play any games or hard to get and I'm wondering if that's part of the issue. I've been chatting to a guy for about three weeks now. I got talking to him through a work connection (although we don't work together) and we had been chatting daily. The chat is usually flirty and very cheeky, we seem quite similar although I am five years older than him (he is 24 and I'm 29). We finally met last week for the first time. We were with colleagues so although we'd been chatting on the phone, we kept quiet about this and it was treated as though we hadn't spoken before. The whole evening we were being very cheeky and flirting, generally getting on so well. He wasn't drinking much so I know he wasn't drunk. I had a few drinks so I was a little tipsy but fine. We both walked back to the station together and he kissed me. I didn't instigate it so it was all his doing. Now since then we haven't spoken as much as we did before. I appreciate he may be busy. I decided to take the plunge and ask whether he would lik to go out sometime, I haven't had a reply yet. I know what's done is done but this seems to happen often. I am not a needy person but I wonder whether me being direct is translating into me being desperate? I hate playing games but it seems that I need to change something I'm doing as this isn't the first time it's happened. I am a nice person and I think I look pretty. These guys are initially attracted to me so I don't think looks is an issue. Any advice would be appreciated.
Lois_Griffin Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Well, you say this happens quite a bit to you so you're obviously the common denominator. What is happening quite a bit - you asking men out and them pulling away, or men in general just not being interested in seeing you again after you meet them? A lot of men really don't like a woman with a very strong personality. What you perceive to be as 'honest and direct' may be seen by THEM as way too aggressive and overbearing. Since it keeps happening, there's obviously something you're portraying that's turning them off.
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 You can't make omelets without breaking eggs. If you want to live in the moment and end up kissing a man on a first meet just be aware he may feel differently than you and you won't hear from him after. If it really frustrates you that a man disappears after a spontaneous moment then don't have spontaneous moments. I don't see anything wrong in what happened. I didn't date every man I kissed on a first meet. There is no written rule that if a man kisses you he's into you and wants to see you again. It just means he feels like kissing you, period.
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