Romaks Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 So I have been dating this girl (I am 21, she's 20) for 3 months shy of a year now and everything's been going pretty great. Sure she's not perfect, but she's close, and she just seems to fit into my life really well. We both have a low-key lifestyle, and we both seem to be in very similar stages in our lives. It's getting to the point where the real possibility of marriage is being discussed (as an eventuality, not anytime soon). Even though we are definitely not planning on it happening yet, I do feel a little uneasy, and I kind of am starting to feel a grass-is-greener / I'm too young thing coming on. I can't seem to stop looking at other girls, and I am starting to feel slightly trapped as she vocally recognizes my worth and wants to hold on to me as tightly as she can. I don't want to break up with her because I feel like it would be impulsive and I would regret it, but the thought keeps creeping in. What do you guys think?
Gary S Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Well, the truth is, if she has a nice attitude and treats you right... and she loves you (she does), the grass is not greener on the other side. Don't worry about marriage yet, wait another year. Don't take a good woman in love with you for granted. Women in love do it better. 2
Redhead14 Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 So I have been dating this girl (I am 21, she's 20) for 3 months shy of a year now and everything's been going pretty great. Sure she's not perfect, but she's close, and she just seems to fit into my life really well. We both have a low-key lifestyle, and we both seem to be in very similar stages in our lives. It's getting to the point where the real possibility of marriage is being discussed (as an eventuality, not anytime soon). Even though we are definitely not planning on it happening yet, I do feel a little uneasy, and I kind of am starting to feel a grass-is-greener / I'm too young thing coming on. I can't seem to stop looking at other girls, and I am starting to feel slightly trapped as she vocally recognizes my worth and wants to hold on to me as tightly as she can. I don't want to break up with her because I feel like it would be impulsive and I would regret it, but the thought keeps creeping in. What do you guys think? You are in what's called the Uncertainty stage. It is natural to want to be sure. Take some time for yourself to get clear in your head. And, she is "feeling" it too from you, trust me. She will get clingy and needy some now. You need to simply be upfront and honest with her and tell her you need some of the dreaded, dun, dun, dun, space. Do it respectfully and tell her a specific period of time and that you will sit down with her at the end of that time. Tell her it's ok for her to reach out to you a little bit to keep connected. If she is mature enough, she will respect that wish. Don't say "it's not you, it's me" or "I don't know what I want", simply tell her you've been talking about your futures and that it is important for you both to focus on needs going forward. Tell her she should focus on her own needs during this time and have fun and do things for herself. I think you will find that with a little space and given the fact that you've talked about marriage and want that for yourself, you will likely come to the conclusion that it will be with her. But, even you don't know for sure which side of this fence you will fall on.
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2015 Posted June 29, 2015 Talking about marriage in a concrete manner when you are only 21 should scare the bejeasus out of anybody. It's way toooooo early for any sort of discussion like that. Continue to date her. Enjoy your 1st anniversary. When you are in your mid-20s if you are still together revisit the issue then.
Author Romaks Posted July 17, 2015 Author Posted July 17, 2015 I hear what you guys are saying, but I am honestly starting to feel really unhappy. In my head it's like "Break up with her, Break up with her, Break up with her." She's a great girl and she's pretty and everything, but I can't really give a reason for splitting other than that I am not happy for some reason. It's difficult for me to discern whether I am just depressed or I am unhappy with her. Also, I have kind of noticed that I avoid kissing her directly on the lips for some reason.
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 If you are not happy & subconscious is telling to get out, listen. 1
ChicagoSparty Posted July 17, 2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Talking about marriage in a concrete manner when you are only 21 should scare the bejeasus out of anybody. It's way toooooo early for any sort of discussion like that. Continue to date her. Enjoy your 1st anniversary. When you are in your mid-20s if you are still together revisit the issue then. No kidding. If some chick uttered the word marriage when I was 21, there would have been a sonic boom and nothing but a cloud of dust and smoke where I had been sitting. 1
Recommended Posts