BrotherAaron Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 Tonight, I apparently invited her to "go party" with me and my new girlfriend. Drinking is obviously a bad choice for anyone, and especially me considering that I was in position to be talking to my ex girlfriend and my current girlfriend at the same time. Anyway, I responded to her stupid email (which she sent me about a week ago) in the following way. I hope it doesn't destroy my life. Jamie... I know you miss me. I miss you too, sometimes... but you've got to realize that this is your decision. You wanted to leave me, and explore your "feelings" for David. Well, I hope he makes you as happy as I made you, because he's all you've got now. I'm not coming back. You hurt me too bad, and I've placed you firmly in the past where you belong. You are just another chapter in my life, Jamie... I know you miss me. I miss you too, sometimes... but you've got to realize that this is your decision. You wanted to leave me, and explore your "feelings" for David. Well, I hope he makes you as happy as I made you, because he's all you've got now. I'm not coming back. You hurt me too bad, and I've placed you firmly in the past where you belong. Damnit, Jamie, I loved you more than I will ever love another person, and more than another person will ever love you. You could have had the greatest thing that will ever happen to you, and you could have had it for the rest of your life, but you gave that up, and I find it hard to feel sorry for you. Why did you leave me for David? I will never know the answer. I have so much to offer... ask any girl around here. I get ho I want. There's no question about it. You may have hurt me, but I moved on. You're not really worth my time; you're not who I thought you were. I will never give anyone what I gave you... I refuse to be a nice guy anymore. I can see that gets me nowhere. And, for the record... **** you. Anyway, don't send me anymore emails, and no more phone calls, and no more IM's. I'm sorry you can't stand the fact that I can live without you, but you need to stop trying to **** with me. No, I don't think you are sincere... if you really were, you wouldn't be with him. I used to think he didn't deserve you, but, now that I know how you are (from what I've seen, and what I've been told), he does deserve you. He deserves to have his life ruined by a girl who doesn't know what she wants and is willing to destroy lives to get it. **** you, Jamie. You are a bitch. I'm moving on. I never imagined myself living without you. As for the good times... remember just lying in bed togher, happy and laughing? I remember one thing... and that is that I could spend every moment of an entire day with you, from sunrise to sunset, awake to asleep, and not feel like I wasted it because I spent it with you. I wouldn't have traded that for anything or anybody, not for the hottest girl in the world. It is really sad to me that, for some reason, you felt that you should be with david more than you should be with me. Maybe he's a bit lost, and your nuturing instincts told you that you should take care of him. Maybe you needed the feeling of something new. I don't really know. The fact is, whatever you wanted from me, you could have had... all you would have had to do was ask. You are my one true love, and nobody can change, fix, or replace that. You remain the strongest feeling I've ever had. I meant it that night when I said I wanted to run away with you. It's too late to change your mind, though, "babe". You've already said with all of your actions that you don't really give a **** about me. I'm moving on. I love you. I miss you. But I can live without you. What don't you understand? Things are exactly how you chose to have them. Everything is exactly how you wanted it to be... right? Why else would you go out of your way to make things the way they are? If you're pissed, be pissed at yourself. You did this. You are getting exactly what you gave yourself. Good luck, and please don't respond to this. I wouldn't have even bothered telling you how I feel, except that I'm drunk, and (obviously) I do things when I'm drunk that I otherwise wouldn't. And, if anyone was keeping track... you're the only person I kissed the whole time we were together. You can't say the same about me. You don't deserve me... I'm too good for you. Goodbye, Jamie. It hurts me more than anything to think about how we will never be together agian, but I don't imagine you caring. This is all your decision. I'm not sorry about anything. I have nothing to apologize for. I hope that you realize that it's not ok to treat anyone the way you treated me. That is why the last thing I ever want to say to you is: Goodbye. Good riddance. >Hey, I just want to tell you some things. This may not make too >much sense right now cuz i'm a little upset. Just like you wrote on >that CD you made me, the moments we shared were never wasted. I dont >know why what happened did, it doesnt make sense anymore. I try so >hard to forget you, but it is so hard. I am telling you this cuz >you were always the one i talked to, no body else listens like you >did. I just think about the past and how you were so good to me. I >dont know why this all happened but i know that i will never find >anyone like you. i hate the way it is right now. you are so cold, >i dont even know you. it seriously is driving me crazy. i am able >to ignore the feelings most of the time, but when i let them through >i get soooo pissed at myself cuz i dont understand it. i think >about the night that we were standing outside crying. i did just >run away with you and i still dont understand why we couldnt have >just done it. if it hurts so bad for the both of us then why did we >do it? urg i dont know why. by the way i am not drinking right >now. i just had to let you know that you are so something, i dont >know, thinking of you just brings me this feeling of goodness. you >sent me lyrics that showed me how you felt, well i think this >explains things perfectly > <Removed copyrighted material> > Jaime I probably already know what you all will say, and I know I should have never sent it. That's what happens when you drink too much. I would un-send it if I could, but I can't. I wish I had never met her... I'm so f***ing depressed at the moment. This is why I avoided drinking, and will in the future. I love you guys, so help me through thisl. I know she doesn't deserve me. Did I really mess anything up, considering that I'm only trying to get over her and not back with her? Does it matter if this only pisses her off? I don't know at the moment. I'm going to sleep.
simon_uk Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 Aaron! What you did is the bravest thing anyone could possibly do! Rejecting the person who you truly love, man that takes some courage, i would like to think I would do the same but I know I couldn't, I know you were drunk but you were obviously very coherrent to write what you did. I am so proud of you man because that must have been the hardest thing you have ever done? Even harder than seeing her with the other guy? I cant say whether it was the right or wrong thing to do, only you know that but man that girl hurt you so bad, she deserves all that she gets!!! Just try forget it now and have fun with your new woman!!!!!!!!!! Good on ya Bro!
Author BrotherAaron Posted May 1, 2005 Author Posted May 1, 2005 Thanks Simon I was not as coherent as it seems. My curse is that I can still be quite articulate when I'm drunk. Anyway, apparently I sent the message to my best friend and not my ex. I think I like that better anyway. I was purposely not pleasuring the ex with a response. I'll let her figure out why I'm gone. Yesterday was a strange day. I saw her on my way to breakfast, and I guess she wanted to show me her new piercing, so (in front of with her new BF) she runs up to me and says "Babe! Oopps.. I mean, Aaron. look what I got!" That kind of got my mind wrapped around her to begin with. Later on I was pretty drunk (and by that I mean completely belligerent) and hanging out with my current GF, and I guess I saw my ex walking, and I started trying to talk me ex into hanging out with us (I don't know why. I was very intoxicated) and I tried dragging her into my room - with my current GF on my other arm, no less. She freaked out, and I think I even decided to tell her and her new BF off, but I don't really remember it. Oh well, if Alpha_male is any kind of right about girls, being such a jerk to my new GF and my ex at the same time means they'll both want me now
Recommended Posts