ex says cant get back because of past actions but wants to be friends

[stephon3mn]

So my ex and I decided to break up and it was ugly. A lot of crazy stuff happened and we didn't talk at all for a couple months. A few weeks ago we started talking and decided to try to be friends however I still want to be with her. Weve been going out together to the gym daily and I work with her. The other night a bunch of us were drinking and me and her ended up making out. THe next day she said it was a mistake and wont happened again. We are still going to the gym together and everything is good friend wise but I still hope I can get back with her. Any ideas on how to handle the situation.?

[ravfour4]

You have to make it obvious that you don't want to be in the friend zone. Be flirty, make her laugh, get close to her, touch her etc. See if she's receptive.

 

And if there are things about you or your relationship that she didn't like and they are also things that you sincerely want to and can change - make sure you're showing her that.

[yxalitis]

If you allow yourself to be friend zoned, it will be so much harder to break that.

Tell her you're not comfortable seeing her right now, and go go NC, see how she reacts to that.

Yes, you've already had a period of NC, but you need to either let her go, or win her back, being her friend doesn't help either.

[stephon3mn]

If you allow yourself to be friend zoned, it will be so much harder to break that.

Tell her you're not comfortable seeing her right now, and go go NC, see how she reacts to that.

Yes, you've already had a period of NC, but you need to either let her go, or win her back, being her friend doesn't help either.

 

im trying to win her back, showing her how I really was and that the guy she fell in love with still here, I tell her one way or another everyday im sorry for what I did

[ravfour4]

Minus the making out part - I've been in a similar situation with my ex for the past few months. Just be aware that she may really see you as a friend and may be using you for comfort etc. it sucks to realize/think that, but it's a definite possibility. My ex and I will talk about what happened etc. but I think it's just to relieve her guilt and to feel better about herself, not because she actually wants to give us a second shot. that being said, I hope your case is the exception and you get what you want!

 

Do you ever talk about each other's love life? Or other people? It's a topic you should stay away from at the moment, but I was wondering what happened if it came up. Does she expect you to be hers right now or is she assuming you're out searching for other women?

[stephon3mn]

Minus the making out part - I've been in a similar situation with my ex for the past few months. Just be aware that she may really see you as a friend and may be using you for comfort etc. it sucks to realize/think that, but it's a definite possibility. My ex and I will talk about what happened etc. but I think it's just to relieve her guilt and to feel better about herself, not because she actually wants to give us a second shot. that being said, I hope your case is the exception and you get what you want!

 

Do you ever talk about each other's love life? Or other people? It's a topic you should stay away from at the moment, but I was wondering what happened if it came up. Does she expect you to be hers right now or is she assuming you're out searching for other women?

 

yea both of us are single and not seeing anyone at the moment....yea she says stuff like im glad we are past all the bad stuff but then says cant be with me cause of how I acted

[d0nnivain]

You can't be just friends with somebody who you want to date. It's too painful for you.

 

As her friend what are you going to do, listen to her pine for her new crush? Help her pick out an outfit for their 1st date?

 

If you are set on trying to win her back, set up "dates" but don't call them that. Go to the movies. Hold doors open for her. Grab a drink.